BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 When does heartbreak hurt the most? I know it hurts all the time, but when is that time of day that takes your breath away? Just utterly difficult... For me it's when I wake up spontaneously at night and start to panic in the reality that he isn't coming back. I began to ache for him reaching for his ghost. Checking my phone for the chance that he misses me too. I get so uncomfortable that I can't fall back asleep. I feel like I need to get up and run, run away from this heartbreak, if only that were possible. My mind becomes the most active and I lose sleep over it. Until I finally pop a pill to fall back asleep, forcing myself to stop loving him for a few hours... I wake up in the morning realizing it wasn't a dream, it's the cold hard truth that takes your breath away. And this is the second hardest part of my day. Getting out of bed. Forcing yourself to get ready for work and put a smile on. It's hard. Keeping yourself busy is possible, but trying to forget him is the power I lack. If only...
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Mornings suck for me. What do they feel like?
Shaine Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Everytime i wake up. Like you i feel panicky too. My breathe is shallow, my heart is pumping fast and i just feel lost. What i do is i grab my ipad and go straight to loveshack. I dont know why it gives me comfort reading all the post here. LS and enotalone is my lifeline right now. After reading, i feel stronger and normal again. And i would remember all the reason why i dont need him and im better off without him. 5
seekingpeaceinlove Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Night and Mornings were the worst during the grieving stage. I would lie awake for hours before a restless sleep. Then I would wake up with a feeling of dread and anxiety...my chest felt compressed. It was almost unbearable. In the evenings, I would make sure to workout so hard that I would come home exhausted which made for an easier sleep. In the mornings, I would immediately get up and take a hot shower...which eased my anxiety and made me feel a lot better. It was around the 2.5 month mark that I started feeling ok again. Have faith, you will get through this. 3
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Night and Mornings were the worst during the grieving stage. I would lie awake for hours before a restless sleep. Then I would wake up with a feeling of dread and anxiety...my chest felt compressed. It was almost unbearable. In the evenings, I would make sure to workout so hard that I would come home exhausted which made for an easier sleep. In the mornings, I would immediately get up and take a hot shower...which eased my anxiety and made me feel a lot better. It was around the 2.5 month mark that I started feeling ok again. Have faith, you will get through this. AWW this is a great idea. I have a membership so I will go sweat until my knees collapse! That way I'm tired and can fall asleep, I'll take benadryl too because that usually knocks me out! I just hate waking up with anxiety and fear. I don't know how to stop that.
RDawg Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 2 months post break up. I wake up most mornings around 3am - I call it the night monster. I pray to God for comfort and fall back into a fitful sleep. Most days when my work is done and home time approaches I also have a panic attack because back when we were still together I would be looking forward to walking the dogs and planning the evening meal if it was my turn to cook. Sunday afternoons are just the loneliest part of the week. I normally go and seek company at my local hang out spot with the other losers. 1
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 2 months post break up. I wake up most mornings around 3am - I call it the night monster. I pray to God for comfort and fall back into a fitful sleep. Most days when my work is done and home time approaches I also have a panic attack because back when we were still together I would be looking forward to walking the dogs and planning the evening meal if it was my turn to cook. Sunday afternoons are just the loneliest part of the week. I normally go and seek company at my local hang out spot with the other losers. Aw that is rough. Sounds like me. I just can't get away from it.
mutualove Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Mornings,especially when I wake up.Sometimes late afternoons too.
feelingtorn Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I do wake up at 2 or 3 ALL THE TIME TOO. And, for some reason, I feel the urge to check his netflix viewing history. I am good about not wanting to call or text him, but man, why do I feel the urge to check his netflix history? I guess it comforts me to feel still connected to him and his life somehow. I sometimes check out the same movie. It puts me at ease when he is home watching a marathon of movies. I feel like he is going through the same grieving process. When I see no viewing history, I start imagining him out having fun and feeling sad and depressed. I know. This is stupid, and I must stop soon. I also know this prevents me from sticking to NC completely. 1
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 I do wake up at 2 or 3 ALL THE TIME TOO. And, for some reason, I feel the urge to check his netflix viewing history. I am good about not wanting to call or text him, but man, why do I feel the urge to check his netflix history? I guess it comforts me to feel still connected to him and his life somehow. I sometimes check out the same movie. It puts me at ease when he is home watching a marathon of movies. I feel like he is going through the same grieving process. When I see no viewing history, I start imagining him out having fun and feeling sad and depressed. I know. This is stupid, and I must stop soon. I also know this prevents me from sticking to NC completely. Aw you poor thing, we always try to find a way to connect with them while they aren't around anymore. We don't want to lose touch with them, it's scary. You are normal. You are not alone. 2
Pa76 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Mornings are bad but not as bad as last week. That's weird that most of us wake up at 2 or 3. I wish he would stay out of my dreams! F**k off already!!! 1
Blastbeat Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 It's been a month for me, since I was dumped out of the blue. I agree that bed time is the worst part. But I am doing well now. The biggest thing that helped me was messaging her saying that I accept my part in the break up, and I hope she finds someone that makes her happy. She ignored me, which to me indicates she is feeling some pain too, since no indication of wanting her back was made. This, and the no begging or pleading, has made me feel good. Now I wake up in the mornings and think about my potential new girlfriend of the future and look forward to her
me85 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Mornings are bad but not as bad as last week. That's weird that most of us wake up at 2 or 3. I wish he would stay out of my dreams! F**k off already!!! HAHAHAHA!! This literally made me lol at work just now! It's so true. Mornings are the worst. I've been getting a full night's rest for the past week or so now and that's a relief. And my appetite came back around the same time too. Last night I had a hard time sleeping though and woke up a few times. & for a while I dreamt about him back to back most nights. & they were good dreams of him too WTF?! I just have to tell myself "(my name), he cheated, he's not worth this. You have work tomorrow. Get your rest." And when I feel the slightest bit of sadness, I sternly tell myself, "(my name), don't you dare shed anymore tears over that POS!" 1
nevergoodenough Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I always have dreams of my ex where I am holding her in my arms and I sit there reflecting on how lucky I am to share my life with her. How I am so blessed to have found someone like her. I wake up and realize it was just a dream and it makes me cry every time. I then check my phone hoping she texts me and tells me she misses me as much as I miss her and see there is nothing and I lay there just wishing it was all over.
LostConfused123 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 What do they feel like? Sorry for the delayed response. Had a busy work day. (thank God) Anyway, for me when waking up, at first, I'm talking literally one second, things are fine. . . Then it all comes FLOODING in and I'm like "oh yeah, *****. . . I have to go another whole day with this agony of a broken heart" It's almost like I have to re accept it EVERY MORNING. the one second when I first wake up is the best part of my day. It is getting better though. Little by little and day by day it's getting easier to accept. 2
jessiej Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 late at night hurts me the most. When I go to sleep at night I'm longing for him, wishing he would call and want me back and just apologize and we could lay together and fall asleep like we did every night. And when I wake up in the middle of the night, just like you said, in a panic. Reaching my arms out for him and realizing he's not there, and he's not coming back, and i'll reach for my phone praying maybe he tried to call and I was sleeping, but he didn't. And i'll lay awake realizing how alone I am and that's when it hits me the most. 1
LostConfused123 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 late at night hurts me the most. When I go to sleep at night I'm longing for him, wishing he would call and want me back and just apologize and we could lay together and fall asleep like we did every night. And when I wake up in the middle of the night, just like you said, in a panic. Reaching my arms out for him and realizing he's not there, and he's not coming back, and i'll reach for my phone praying maybe he tried to call and I was sleeping, but he didn't. And i'll lay awake realizing how alone I am and that's when it hits me the most. Wow!!! yep, exactly. . . . . I hate that time of night too
Jmk21 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 This is straight copy n pasta of how I felt for almost two months. I Couldn't get away from her, always in my thoughts and always in my dreams. It was a wretched time that I'm glad I have overcome. I actually dreamt of her last night and when I woke up I wasn't sad or angry. I was more like wtf why are you still here. Loveshack has helped me regain my sanity because no matter how alone I feel, someone here has it worse than I do. Loveshack does make me think of her alot. The only thing left I'm waiting on is i difference towards her
Raena Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 For me, the worst time is right before I go to sleep and then again when I spontaneously wake up at 2:00 am. I lay there missing him, still sleeping on my own side of the bed. mostly because the heater on my heated blanket seems to only work on my side. It makes the other side of the bed so cold that I can't bring myself to sleep in the middle or closer to that side. I lay there and feel this crushing weight on me, my head spins a little and I feel like this is all just a nightmare. He's going to come home at 2:15 am like he always does and come lay in bed with me and warm up that side. But I know that isn't going to happen. I look at my phone a hundred times. Sometimes I want to blast him for hurting me. Other times I want to reach out and tell him how much I miss him. I go back to sleep and then wake up so stressed out that I end up dry heaving several times as I rush around getting ready. I always make the computer room, with a cup of coffee and some LS my first priority though. Like a previous poster said, it's saving me right now to come here and read and chat about what's going on. It's only been 4 1/2 weeks since DDay and only 1 1/2 weeks since he moved out. My head is still spinning. 1
Pa76 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 HAHAHAHA!! This literally made me lol at work just now! It's so true. Mornings are the worst. I've been getting a full night's rest for the past week or so now and that's a relief. And my appetite came back around the same time too. Last night I had a hard time sleeping though and woke up a few times. & for a while I dreamt about him back to back most nights. & they were good dreams of him too WTF?! I just have to tell myself "(my name), he cheated, he's not worth this. You have work tomorrow. Get your rest." And when I feel the slightest bit of sadness, I sternly tell myself, "(my name), don't you dare shed anymore tears over that POS!" I won't shed another tear also. He is a schmuck and good riddens. He wasn't in love with me well guess what a**hole there is a guy out there who will be. I am back on online dating talking to a nice guy but going slow learning about him cause no more dumbasses for me. Your POS ex cheated on you and karma will be saying hello at some point. Two of my friends were cheated on and took them a while to get over it. Both are married to great men now. 1
radiodarcy Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 oddly enough it's not mornings or evenings - - it's during the work day. I work from home and it's been a slow week. And there's only so much I can do to keep myself occupied so I don't think about him. That's why I'm always on LS during this time - - it's about the only thing that keeps me from reaching out to him.
tink_10050 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 It's been nearly three months and the numbness is wearing off. I still don't think it's real but the pain is way worse. I guess having to tell him to stop calling me made it real. I've been drinking at night to numb myself, but I can't keep that up so I'm stopping it. I wake up in the middle of the night and yeah, check my phone. Mornings are the worse time of day. I'm so busy at work that I do pretty well through the day. I feel panic when I have time to think about it. yes, like I want to run from it but I can't. Days off work are hard.
me85 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I won't shed another tear also. He is a schmuck and good riddens. He wasn't in love with me well guess what a**hole there is a guy out there who will be. I am back on online dating talking to a nice guy but going slow learning about him cause no more dumbasses for me. Your POS ex cheated on you and karma will be saying hello at some point. Two of my friends were cheated on and took them a while to get over it. Both are married to great men now. Good for you Pa76! Yes there is someone who will fall in love and STAY in love with you. Thanks! Yes, he'll get what's coming to him. I look forward to meeting a man who will become my husband someday.
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