AllForNothing Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 OK, question for you peeps: Do you find yourself getting more picky or less picky (about a partner) with age? I feel like I'm getting less picky overall. I know the handful of things that are important to me, but some of the stuff I used to think was important may not be as important as it used to be. I think we all "settle" to some extent, because no one out there is 100% perfect. But by the same token you don't want to just latch onto the first person to show you any interest, no matter how incompatible. I think, for me anyway, there's a wide stretch between "I could never be with you" and "It's like I ordered you out of a catalog." In that wide stretch, do you feel like you've gotten more picky or less picky as the years have piled up? 1
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I got more picky about the things that really matter: values, sense of humor, overall compatibility. And less picky about the things that don't: height, weight, etc. 8
Elliotte Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 You should get more picky about the character of those you spend time with. But if you feel your standards are too high and you're getting nowhere, maybe it is time to re-evaluate
Phoe Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I never have been picky, so overall I've stayed the same
GorillaTheater Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I never have been picky Phoe, I think I've identified the source of your relationship troubles. Trust me, you can afford to be pickier. 2
Phoe Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Phoe, I think I've identified the source of your relationship troubles. Trust me, you can afford to be pickier. I haven't a clue what else to even be picky about! Just a normal, kind, intelligent, healthy and happy non-smoking man is what I require. What else is there even to be picky about? Anything else seems trivial. Sexual compatibility would be really nice but even that I can compromise on
GorillaTheater Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I haven't a clue what else to even be picky about! Just a normal, kind, intelligent, healthy and happy non-smoking man is what I require. What else is there even to be picky about? Anything else seems trivial. Sexual compatibility would be really nice but even that I can compromise on They've already been mentioned here: values, character, compatibility, etc. True, sometimes it takes a while to establish whether the guy has those, but you'd be doing yourself a big favor by hustling them right the hell out of your life when it becomes evident that they ain't measuring up. I mean, sure, this is probably a threadjack, but you have people here who care for you and want nothing but the best for you. Or hell, at least better.
todreaminblue Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I actually pretty much give a guy a chance if he isnt too forward......i am selective when it comes to choose a bf because i look for long lasting relationships.......as far as dating goes....give guys chances......deb
EasyHeart Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I don't think you get more or less picky as you get older, but you learn which things matter most to you. The result is that you don't waste as much time with people who aren't compatible with you. 2
melodymatters Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I think this is a GREAT question ! I think a lot of the posters with life experience are giving the same answer I'm about to : both. I'm MUCH pickier about how I am treated ( don't care that you're rich, sexy, what your career is,) if you don't treat me amazingly well, Bye bye ! I'm much LESS picky about the external things ( Rich, sexy, great career) as long as you are of good character and do treat me amazingly well !
jimloveslips Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I require intelligence and humour everything else (that's good) is a bonus. But, if I had to live my life over again I'd be a lot more picky - there's certain things I'm just never going to experience first hand now, and would have liked to have had the chance...
MissBee Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I don't see being less picky and revising what's important as the same things. As I get older I don't have time to waste with men who are not compatible with me and who aren't viable for something substantial, so I am MORE picky. However, what I need from a man now and what I did at 18 is different. So some stuff has been dropped and some added. As I grow and know myself more some stuff that was important to me before aren't anymore, likewise some stuff which wasn't important before have become more important. When I was younger I could give different kinds of men a "chance" and I did. I was more into fun and NSA. Now, I am a lot more stringent about what I need and want and what's important to me.
Emilia Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I'm picky about different things because I know myself better.
pera44 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I believe I am much more picky to things that matter such as relationship history (kids, no kids), ethics, morals, beliefs, political views, brains, ambition, motivation etc. I am less picky about looks, status, race, etc. Although I believe I can be more picky as to who I choose mainly because I have a lot going for me; I am educated (BA, MBA), good job, very honest loyal person, never married, not overweight, descent looking and just an all round fun person. It is unfortunate that I have had the worst luck in most of my relationships, (i've been cheated on, abused, sporadically broken up with, had to choose between friendship or relationship) and yet I still remain the nice guy that continues to finish last . Everyone around me is getting married or getting in a relationship while I'm being left behind.
BeingMe Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I'm not looking. If I ever find myself in that place, I'd be much more picky. Experience teaches us what's important to us and what isn't. My picky list? Christian Attractive to me and attracted to me Honest - about feelings and other things & owns his mistakes (no hiding or blameshifting) Never cheated but aware that he could & has good boundaries Silly sense of humour (kind, self deprecating, not cruel) Kind But quite frankly, I'm working on me right now and helping my children. No emotional time or space for anyone else right now.
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