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Ex came back

girlwithabrokenheart

By girlwithabrokenheart
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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girlwithabrokenheart Member

girlwithabrokenheart

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Well, the saying is true- Once you feel like you have finally moved on, the ex comes back.

 

I got a text from him today saying he wants me back and that he wants to talk things over.

 

This past weekend was the first weekend that I felt completely happy going out on my own and I never thought about my ex while at the bars.

 

And then BAM a few days later I get the "I want you back" text.

 

Not too sure what's going to happen from here though.

nevergoodenough Established Member

nevergoodenough

Posted
Posted
Well, the saying is true- Once you feel like you have finally moved on, the ex comes back.

 

I got a text from him today saying he wants me back and that he wants to talk things over.

 

This past weekend was the first weekend that I felt completely happy going out on my own and I never thought about my ex while at the bars.

 

And then BAM a few days later I get the "I want you back" text.

 

Not too sure what's going to happen from here though.

 

How long were you guys broken up and in NC ? I'm not surprised by this, I feel like it's way more common for guys to turn back to their ex's. If you decide to work things out, make sure you let him know that goodbye means for good the next time.

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girlwithabrokenheart Member

girlwithabrokenheart

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How long were you guys broken up and in NC ? I'm not surprised by this, I feel like it's way more common for guys to turn back to their ex's. If you decide to work things out, make sure you let him know that goodbye means for good the next time.

 

We were broken up for 3 months. We were never really in NC because I had to see him in some of my classes for college.

 

We exchanged a few texts and we are going to most likely meet up and start talking about things.

 

I'm not getting my hopes up right now. I'm just playing it by ear at the moment.

Anethen Member

Anethen

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Have you decided what you are going to say when you meet up with him? I can't even begin to think about what I would say if my ex came back.

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RDawg Established Member

RDawg

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I know what I would say: Yeehaa!!! thank you baby for giving us another chance, I love you so much!!

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girlwithabrokenheart Member

girlwithabrokenheart

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Have you decided what you are going to say when you meet up with him? I can't even begin to think about what I would say if my ex came back.

 

I've been thinking about that too. I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. I'm not going to think about it too much until I know that we are meeting up for sure.

 

I guess the main thing I want to know is what he's feeling right now. Like what does he mean when he says he wants me back? I want to know the extent of his feelings and when he started feeling this way.

 

I want to ask him about the break up and have him tell my exactly why he ended it and what he has been feeling since then.

 

I also want to make sure that he understands what is in store for him. I'm not going to just get back with him over night- it's something that's going to take time. I need to know that his feelings are for real and I need to be able to trust him again.

 

This is all just so crazy. I always had a feeling that he might come back, but the more time passed, the less confident I was. It's just crazy to hear him say the words.

 

Let's just hope he contacts me later today about plans to meet up- I really want to know where all of this is going and how he stands.

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girlwithabrokenheart Member

girlwithabrokenheart

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I know what I would say: Yeehaa!!! thank you baby for giving us another chance, I love you so much!!

 

Lol, it's definitely NOT that simple. Not after 3 months.

aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

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Id ask "what's changed"? What would keep him from doing the same thing once this new "honeymoon" phase ends after getting back together after a 3 month break?

 

I'd navigate thru this carefully. It might be in your best interest to NOT re-enter a relationship with someone who already thru you out of their lives once.. People don't change.

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girlwithabrokenheart Member

girlwithabrokenheart

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Id ask "what's changed"? What would keep him from doing the same thing once this new "honeymoon" phase ends after getting back together after a 3 month break?

 

That is a very good point.

 

I'd navigate thru this carefully. It might be in your best interest to NOT re-enter a relationship with someone who already thru you out of their lives once.. People don't change.

 

I don't know if I agree with the fact that people don't change. I know I've changed a lot since the break up.

 

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. It all depends on how our conversation goes when we talk next. He's taking a nap right now and I told him to get ahold of me later today, so I'm sitting around waiting for him to respond and trying not to stress over things.

Anethen Member

Anethen

Posted
Posted
I've been thinking about that too. I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. I'm not going to think about it too much until I know that we are meeting up for sure.

 

I guess the main thing I want to know is what he's feeling right now. Like what does he mean when he says he wants me back? I want to know the extent of his feelings and when he started feeling this way.

 

I want to ask him about the break up and have him tell my exactly why he ended it and what he has been feeling since then.

 

I also want to make sure that he understands what is in store for him. I'm not going to just get back with him over night- it's something that's going to take time. I need to know that his feelings are for real and I need to be able to trust him again.

 

This is all just so crazy. I always had a feeling that he might come back, but the more time passed, the less confident I was. It's just crazy to hear him say the words.

 

Let's just hope he contacts me later today about plans to meet up- I really want to know where all of this is going and how he stands.

 

I think those are all good things to say. Just make sure that getting back with him is something that you really want to do. It's going to take a lot of work on both ends.

AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted
I know what I would say: Yeehaa!!! thank you baby for giving us another chance, I love you so much!!

 

At the beginning, you think that, but if you have an experience of seeing them in public, or even thinking you do.

 

It actually helps.

 

Because you don't feel love. You don't feel joy. You don't feel like striking up a conversation.

 

You feel fear.

 

Blatant. Hardcore. Fear.

 

What are they going to do? If you try and say hi are they going to turn away with a smirk or contempt? Call you a pathetic loser who should just give up? Be nice, but fundamentally pitying you?

 

And, the more I started to imagine not my fantasy movie of what it would be like if he came back (there was orchestra music :p), but what the real deal would be like, and how difficult it would be ever trust him with my heart again, and how tense it would be,

 

I realized that no.

 

My response wouldn't be "oh heck yes, come over and cuddle me now."

aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

Posted
Posted

Id ask "what's changed"? What would keep him from doing the same thing once this new "honeymoon" phase ends after getting back together after a 3 month break?

 

I'd navigate thru this carefully. It might be in your best interest to NOT re-enter a relationship with someone who already thru you out of their lives once.. People don't change.

Doicare Member

Doicare

Posted
Posted

Hey Ive been through a few relationships in my day. Honestly I know you love him, but ask yourself a few questions first:

 

1) how does he really make you feel? I know you crave his love, but did he make you feel special and loved all along? Was it only a last minute thing, or was the break up an extension of him not making you feel amazing?

 

2) If he ever made you feel bad, what's stopping him from doing it again?

 

3) Feelings aside, do you think you deserve better than the way he was with you?

 

4) Do you really want him back, or is it his acceptance that you so desperately want?

 

People break up for different reasons, and please do not take these questions as an attack. He could be a loving boyfriend, and if so, great! I just ask these questions to make sure if you might not be better off with someone else. Ive loved and lost a few times in my life, and suffered through self rejection only to realize that there was always a better situation after the relationship. Sure enough I found someone I loved differently, but equally as much and intensely. It's these moments that fill your hear and make you realize that break ups are sometimes a necessity to get to where you want to go. Dont hang on to what was and stir in neutral, rather move towards the life that fulfills you. Good luck!

 

ps - im still with my gf, but am going through some serious doubts, i think she may be too....

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