justash-x Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 It's been about 2 months and i'm still having a hard time accepting its over. I find myself constantly thinking about the good times we had and never the bad times. I've recently got a new job so that should help but I still think about him 24/7. There also isn't much hope in us getting back together. He treated me really bad to say the least so I shouldn't be thinking about him at all!! Any tips to get my mind off him?
nevergoodenough Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 It's been about 2 months and i'm still having a hard time accepting its over. I find myself constantly thinking about the good times we had and never the bad times. I've recently got a new job so that should help but I still think about him 24/7. There also isn't much hope in us getting back together. He treated me really bad to say the least so I shouldn't be thinking about him at all!! Any tips to get my mind off him? As long as two people are alive, anything is possible. One really doesn't know what can happen in life. If you were the dumper and want him back, maybe you could test the waters. If he ended it, just try and keep your mind off things until you see some progress. There really is now easy way, I am struggling letting go of an ex i'm in love with also.
Author justash-x Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 He ended it with me and has been ignoring my texts for a few weeks. Everytime I try NC I end up breaking it. Just wish there was a way to erase all the memories.
sun1972 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 when it doesnt hurt anymore, you will be glad of those memories, keep nc and it will hurt less and less but memories and what we have done with our life are what makes us.. ...
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Im 3 months out and I still think about him. But it's a lot less then I used to. And my ex treated me pretty bad too. When you get the urge to contact him think to yourself that he is thinking you are pathetic and desperate. I'm not saying that to be nasty but it's true. Put yourself in his shoes. If you dumped someone and treated them badly - and he would know that he did -- what would you think if that person if they kept contacting you? You wouldn't have much respect for them. This is what keeps me from contacting my ex and so far it has worked. Also try to keep as busy as possible. Anything to take your mind off him. Even if you don't feel like doing something make yourself. It really does help.
Author justash-x Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Mz_sassy_77 thats very true i've never thought of it like that before. It's been 2 months for me and now is a lot harder than when it first happened. I'm literally always thinking about him and what has happened then find myself looking at photos etc and get upset. I've deleted all social networking so I think that will help a lot I just want him back despite the way he's treated me
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Mz_sassy_77 thats very true i've never thought of it like that before. It's been 2 months for me and now is a lot harder than when it first happened. I'm literally always thinking about him and what has happened then find myself looking at photos etc and get upset. I've deleted all social networking so I think that will help a lot I just want him back despite the way he's treated me It does happen like that. Some days I think I am so over you and other days I start thinking about the good times and the memories come flooding back and it is horrible to know they are not in your life any longer. I have wasted whole days at work just thinking about him. Now when I do that I stop and think about some **** thing he did to kind of counteract it. Us dumpers have a habit of always thinking of the good times but never the bad times, or maybe their annoying habits, things you don't love so much about them. You don't want him back. Trust me. Even if he came back tomorrow and you made up the damage is done. Once someone has betrayed you like this, and that's what he's done, it is very hard to forget about it. At first you are so happy you are back together, but after a while the reasons they BU with you come to the surface. You can't stop thinking about them. You wonder am I doing this or that. Is he going to BU with me again? The damage done is so great it just doesn't go away. At the end of the day whatever the reason, its just an excuse to end it. They just don't want to be with us anymore. If they did then they would fight to stay with us no matter what. It's so sad when RS end. Most of the time there is one person who doesn't want to say. And there isn't much you can do about that. This truly is like mourning a death I think. You go through so many emotions. I believe that we come out the other end better and more complete people though. All the things that I let fall by the side when I was with him I am now working on. Since he's not there I've had to make an effort with people more, got out in the world and met new people, started a new hobby - something that I was always interested in but never had the time when I was with him. It is the end of something, but it is also the start of something new. I have to believe that things happen for a reason and in the end we will be ok. 1
Author justash-x Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 It doesn't help he broke it off the day we got back from a holiday after being together for 2 weeks solid. So I have fresh memories and LOTS of photos. Deep down I know he isn't the one for me and I could never fully forgive him for how he's made me feel but it doesn't stop me thinking about how happy I was with him just a few months ago....
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 It doesn't help he broke it off the day we got back from a holiday after being together for 2 weeks solid. So I have fresh memories and LOTS of photos. Deep down I know he isn't the one for me and I could never fully forgive him for how he's made me feel but it doesn't stop me thinking about how happy I was with him just a few months ago.... That's a bit harsh. I'd put those photos away in a box somewhere or delete them if you can bring yourself to do that. Maybe he's a bit like my ex. In my situation nothing happens, there is no argument, nothing you can point to and go oh that was it, that's why. Just one day it's like a switch goes off in his head and he goes nah don't want this anymore. So not only are you dealing with the BU your like WTF happened there?
Author justash-x Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 That's exactly what happened, no explanation why or anything and now he's ignoring me. I'm hoping some day soon he will realise what he's lost.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I hope the same mine. But unfortunately the only way he will is by me not being in his life. And if that should happen down the track i want to be so far past him I won't care.
Canadiangirl78 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Isn't it funny how our minds trick us into only remembering the good times we had with the ex? That always amazed me, no matter how bad it really was, we only remember the good. Try writing all the bad memories down. Journaling is a good way to get the truth out and have it on paper so when you're fantasizing about only the good stuff, you can go back and look at the journal. Write all of your feelings down, it truly helps. It's nice to have a record of what you have gone through emotionally to get over him, and don't worry, you will. When that time comes you will be a much stronger person for it.
nevergoodenough Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 That's exactly what happened, no explanation why or anything and now he's ignoring me. I'm hoping some day soon he will realise what he's lost. You have no idea at all why he broke up with you? Typically, people will give you some idea. Regardless, all you can do is tell him how you feel and leave it be. He is ignoring you because he doesn't want to talk to you. You can either tell him how you feel and leave it or just leave it. You are probably better off saying nothing.
Author justash-x Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Nope no reason at all just he didn't want to be with me anymore. I think he feels he's missing out not being single. I wish I could get him off my mind! NC is starting today
Author justash-x Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Everything I see reminds me of him, we haven't been together for 2 months yet I can't get my mind off him. He's not even responding to any of my texts just ignoring me. I'm thinking of all the good times we had together, none of the bad times. I've tried NC before and got to 7 days. I'm currently only on my first day but really have a hard time sticking to it as I have tried a few times before. Any tips on how to REALLY prevent texting him?
Author justash-x Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Lol I deleted his number a long time ago but I know it off by heart so just find myself typing it in :S
organizedchaos Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Everything I see reminds me of him, we haven't been together for 2 months yet I can't get my mind off him. He's not even responding to any of my texts just ignoring me. I'm thinking of all the good times we had together, none of the bad times. I've tried NC before and got to 7 days. I'm currently only on my first day but really have a hard time sticking to it as I have tried a few times before. Any tips on how to REALLY prevent texting him? Maybe you should try remembering the bad times too. 2
TylerDurdenn Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Lol I deleted his number a long time ago but I know it off by heart so just find myself typing it in :S He's obviously got a new number, that's why he's not replying! Forget about him he doesn't deserve your time/love.
Author justash-x Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Been broken up for 2 and a half months now but everything reminds me of him.... I keep thinking back to last christmas and how good it was with him and I am dreading this year I can't contact him because he ignores me but I feel like I need to see him and get everything off my chest... To him it's like I never existed
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Same as hun, Im having such a bad day today... Im 4 months post BU x Desperately want to move on but cant... it hurts so much that they can just forget so easily. The thought of xmas is killing me too x I feel so empty and alone x
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but the fact that they're ignoring you is probably a good thing, they're doing No Contact. Seeing them or talking things over again and again isn't going to make things right between you both or make him want to be with you again. Trust me I know, it's tough, I got dumped a month ago and Christmas is going to be really tough as we had all of these plans together, and I lost my Mum at Xmas-time and some other stuff. But you just gotta keep moving forward. Have you thought about doing some voluntary work at Christmas? Last year I'd just been dumped, had only recently lost my mother and had been frozen out by my brother, hardest thing that ever happened to me. So rather than sit at home crying on my own on Christmas day with no family to see, I went and volunteered on a suicide line for eight hours. It was the BEST Christmas day I've ever had. I do that work year-round already and have done for several years but they struggle to fill the Xmas shifts and we never shut, ever. Doing something good for people who are having an even worse time than you can really lift your spirits and make you feel good about yourself, as well as putting things into perspective. I'm sure it's too late to train to do that kind of thing but maybe you could help out at a soup kitchen, visit lonely people in hospital, etc. 1
Sadguy33 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I feel your pain. My ex cheated on me and dumped me after 5 years of a stable relationship. living together, dog, the whole deal. She wasnt in love with me apparently and is dropping me like a bad habit. I keep asking myself why she did it but i just cant understand it. Believe me though, being broken up with is MUCH better than being cheated on. you would think it wold make you hate them more and be easier, but the fact that you know they preferred someone else and did exual things is one of the toughest things to accept. For me I am realizing that the only thing to do is kick this off like it is heroin, because it is an addiciton. I literally leave my phone in my drawer when i go out so i dont feel the urge. its hard though because if you want to contact them, you will find a way. I guess just keep telling myself "would i ever do this to anyone" and the answer is always no. the fact that she can do what she did makes me unlove her but its incredibly tough. especially when your fixated on the ideals of the relationship. When i look back there were so many times i disliked her yet i stuck with her because thats what you do.
mirage12 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I feel the same way as all of you... Sometimes I'll be fine and can carry on like normal. But at random points the reality of it all hits and it feels like I'm drowning and can't help myself. I try to keep busy and surround myself with people but despite all that, I feel empty and horribly lonely. It's like I'm walking around in a fog or a daze...and the mornings are the worst of all. That moment when I wake up and I don't want to move or get out of bed because I know that this day just like the day before it is going to be a struggle.
Author justash-x Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 its good knowing its not just me who feels like this! I think christmas coming up isn't helping at all and once thats over with hopefully we will all feel a lot better... I just feel so alone
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