Recently seperated and depressed

[debilou]

Well I think I've finally reached the point where I have given up completely. I think I have to. I have this crazy idea that he really wants to be my H and the father of his children but I HAVE to let it go to heal.

 

We are in full out divorce strategy now. There's no going back. I KNOW I'll do better without him. He has a self-defeating personality. I don't. My biggest personality quirk is being a rescuer.

 

Now it's time I rescue me and the boys.

 

The stbxh and I argued on the phone several times this week. Fruitless is what the counselor calls it.

 

Bottom line, I work evenings. His mom works 12 hr days and comes over between 7:30 and 8pm to take care of the boys 5 days a week. The stbxh lives 3 miles away.

 

I gave him an ultimatum. Either you stay with the kids 3 nights a week, the days HIS mom works or I'm moving someone in to help with the boys. He said he'll come over but ofcourse he's all pissed that he's being made to do something. My opinion.

 

The surprising thing was that his mom was all for me having someone move in to be here when I'm not. She's so afraid the house will catch on fire or something. She knows her son is unreliable. I'm trying to keep her out of the line of fire. My stbxh thinks she takes my side when in reality she just wants her grandkids to be taken care of.

 

He said NO ONE will move in this house. Blah, blah, blah.

 

I have finally realized we need NOT talk to one another.

 

I went to the library Saturday and checked out books on parenting through divorce. The kids have always been my biggest concern. Unfortunately, it's hard going through this without trashing their dad's choices.

 

I'm not perfect but I love deeply and will always do what's best for the boys.

 

Could this thread finally be coming to an end ? ? ?

 

Debilou

 

P.S. Thanks so much LJ for the wonderful compliment on the thread from brgme2life. I got warm fuzzies!

[Ladyjane14]

Thanks so much LJ for the wonderful compliment...

 

Pshaw....just tellin' the truth, ma'am.

 

Anyway, are there still plans in the works for moving away? I have to be honest....I'd be looking for some distance right about now.

 

If you're stuck until after the divorce, then you're stuck. But if I were you, I'd make sure I had options in regards to custody arrangements for moving out of the area if necessary.

 

You're going to get past all this one day. And you're NOT going to want him up your a$$ all the time when you do.

[debilou]

:sick: Friday I received his paper work, his demands, etc. Get this: He's asking for full custody, alimony, child support ! ! !

 

Obviously a ploy, he's only had the boys 3 weekends in 1 year.

 

It just makes me sick. Sick. I have no one to ask who has been through this first hand.

 

So, I'm coming here. How does this work? Would the judge even consider his demands? He abandoned us! Now he wants full custody? ? ?

 

I won't call my attorney until she contacts me. It costs me $ $ $ every time I do. Funds are LOW!

 

My only weak point is that I work the evening shift, 6 pm until about 10 or 11 pm. Christmas will be longer hours. My kids are 10 & 15 years old. I come straight home from work.

 

Let's all remember the reason I took the job was because the stbxh wigged out and demanded I get a job with benefits. This was before he moved out. I thought we would work things out and raise our kids together but that won't be happening.

 

My job supplies the medical insurance for all of us. The stbxh quit his job and is now "self employed".

 

So, if anyone knows how the judicial system works let me know. I'm in Florida. I have a great lawyer.

 

Thanks, Debilou

[Ladyjane14]

: He's asking for full custody, alimony, child support ! ! !

 

He can ASK for whatever he wants. That doesn't mean he's going to get it.

 

I know you're reluctant to call your attorney because of the money situation, but if it were me....I'd want to give her as much time as possible to build a countersuit.

 

YOU can ask for anything you want, same as he did. I'm thinking back-child support, full custody, and REGULAR child support thereafter to be managed by the court. That'll put a helluva crimp in his "self-employment" plans.

 

He started it. Go f*ck him up.

[Ladyjane14]

You might ought to talk to that lawyer anyway......about getting an RO.

 

His outrageous demands would probably be funny, if it weren't for the fact that he's sooooo out of touch with reality. That's kind of scary, considering the fact that he's gotten physical with you before.

 

You've already documented an assualt by him at least once, if memory serves. What will it take to get some protection for you and your kids now? This is likely to be a messy fight, and you need to keep him out of your face.

[debilou]

I did call the attorney this morning. The next step is mediation. Oh that sounds like fun. Me, him, his attorney, my attorney and the mediator. This will be to get the child support started. Just the thought of being in the room with him gets me nervous.

 

I can't understand the hold he has over me. I really think something weird has happened here. I think he IS out of touch with reality. The counselor and psychiatrist believe he is.

 

I wonder what his lawyer thinks of him?

 

I sometimes just want to get in my car and go far away from all of this. I wouldn't leave my boys, I would never scar them because of my own self doubts.

 

I know I'll look back on this as just a time in my life but for now I'm really depressed over all of it.

 

I feel consumed by this crap.

 

I read "Can I have the capacity to free myself from the dependency of the problem?" I see myself here. I have been dependent on HIS problems for far too long.

 

Another thing I find strange. I'm not mad at him (stbxh). I think I'm scared of what he'll do when he gets what he deserves.

 

The psychiatrist told me that he has no doubts that if he hooked the H up to a lie detector that he would pass because he believes his crazy thoughts. Remember when I compared him to OJ? It seems I was right. Out of touch with reality would be putting it mildly.

 

I'm not scared of him hurting me or the boys. I won't let that happen. I'm smarter than he is. I will do what it takes to ensure our safety.

 

I'm ok. I promise.

 

Thanks for all your support. Debilou

[Ladyjane14]

I'm glad to hear that you checked in with your attorney. It's high-time you started getting some child support from him. Who would EVER think that somebody could just abandon his family for this long, and then be rewarded in court with spousal support no less!!!

 

That's just nutty! Did you ask the lawyer about getting an RO?

[debilou]

I'm hoping I finally get the $$$ thing under control.

 

I don't know about the RO now. I don't feel scared of his actions. From what I've checked into, it has to be a recent incident.

 

The main reason I didn't enforce the RO is because he lives 3 miles away. I work the pm shift, 5p to 10p, and he can help with the boys if I don't have it in place. Also, it's for at least 1 year, no contact, no phone calls, nothing. That seemed extreme for me. Remember, I'm addicted to the lunatic.

 

When I say help, I mean come over to our house to pick them up or take care of them there. He has been doing that the nights his mom works late. She's off Mon & Wed. He's been here on T, Th & Fri.

 

Don't worry about me. I can handle myself.

 

Thank you for being concerned with my crazy situation. I'll survive.

 

Debilou

[Ms. DysFUNction]

Mr. Spock,

You sound like my mother and everyone else who loves me. But just consider, he's having a mid life crisis, shouldn't I be a supportive wife? Isn't that part of the wedding vows? I'm not a doormat, I know I can send this thing over the edge but I'm trying to let life work it's way out. Also I have a 9 & 14 yo to consider. Divorce won't be easy.

Thanks for your input, I value all of it.

Debi

 

 

.....it sounds like you've been a loving supportive wife and mother for many years and now you're being told everything is your fault. You're also being told to just hang in there and LOVE him while HE works this all out.

I've been told those very same words by a marriage counselor and HIS family while he was being abusive towards me, addicted to pornography, spending all our money at strip bars and cohorting w/a stripper. I am now divorced and a mom of 4 children under 10, raising them w/no help from their father since he live thousands of miles away now. I don't want to make this about me (I'll start my own thread ) just want you to know I can understand your hurt and confusion.

Having been through a marriage of 12 years, mom of 4, 3 bouts of marriage counseling I did learn a few things.

 

1. Loving him through it is BULLSH*T! He's being extremely self-centered right now, not caring about you or your kids. Most likely developing another relationship on the side. All you've done is love him and your kids, its time to draw the line on how much you'll be stepped on. I'm not saying you have to end it, just start asserting YOUR feelings and speaking YOUR truth.

 

2. Give him an inch and he'll take a mile, be understanding and he'll take it and run. Dont let him get away with anything! He needs to take care of his kids, make him accountable for that with his time and money. Put the pressure on him through his family.

 

3. If he needs time give it to him. BUT...also give yourself time to assess if HE is what you really want. Are you getting the love YOU deserve from him? Is this marriage really benefing you or just a drain.

 

4. Be prepared for a divorce whether you beleive it will come to that or not. Get everything in order, document (journal) all this is happening between you and if you find evidence of an affair. Research child support guidelines. If he is not currently living with you you can collect child support. You could also consulut a lawyer just to know your rights.

 

Be proactive in taking care of yourself and your children. While he is "finding" himself use this time to make yourself wiser and more able to stand on your own two feet.

 

~Blessings~

[Ms. DysFUNction]

I only read the first page of postings after my reply. After reading a few more pages it seems you have been taking a stand and getting things under control.

 

Keep up the good work and good luck!

[debilou]

Ms. D,

 

Thanks for your concern. I know where you come from is most sincere. I really appreciate your time and knowledge.

 

Funny thing, I was just about to tell you all the events of last Saturday night and get a male perspective of what the stbxh is "possibly" thinking.

 

I put both boys to bed at 11pm. Ages 10 & 15. My SIL lives behind me. My brother, SIL, myself and youngest son grilled, had dinner together, watched a movie. The oldest son was at the movies with a couple of friends. I played taxie driver to and from the movies for him and his two other friends. Both friends live at least 15 miles away. Point being I do my best to have a normal stable home life.

 

My brother went to bed. About 1:30 am my SIL and I were sitting on the back porch enjoying a nice bottle of wine and conversation when I heard my stbxh truck out front. He drives a diesel.

 

He comes around the back of the house. He didn't know I parked my car behind the fence so he thought I wasn't home. He had been drinking, was very irritated that he thought I had gone out and left the boys alone.

 

Remember, for 9 months I worked 3a to 9a and it was perfectly fine to leave them home alone while I work. I currently work 5p to 10p. During Christmas it will be alot later.

 

I guess he was a little surprised to see me there with just my SIL and not another man. I really believe he keeps trying to catch me with someone else.

 

I have been purposely avoiding him for about 2 weeks. I've done really well until Saturday night. Because I was drinking wine my defenses were down. I was so happy to see him. I asked him to have a seat and he did. We all sat and talked for about 2 more hours until my SIL said she had to go.

 

I kissed my stbxh good bye and he invited himself for more. He stayed a few more hours. Everyone says that I'm letting him have his cake and eat it too but as I explain to them: I like the same cake.

 

I don't know what my point is anymore. We are in full out divorce negotiations. I sometimes think I'm ending this very long relationship slowly. My SIL has been a real value to me. She sees what I can't.

 

As of now, I'm doing NO Contact. I don't call him for anything. What Saturday night brings will be interesting. If I want to play a game it would be so easy to do.

 

Ms. D, how did you situation end, or has it ? ? ?

 

Thanks again to everyone for giving their input, thoughts, opinions.

 

Debilou

[debilou]

Update. He came over Saturday afternoon to talk to me. Talk wasn't on his agenda. He pitched a fit, acted completely immature, cursed, wigged out over demands from my attorney. One thing he said was: "you said you wouldn't try to take everything from me but you're just like all the rest of the _____ out there!!!"

 

You'll be proud, I didn't respond to that one! He's trying so hard to have a fight with me. Not happening. At first I tried to calm him down and talk. I said: "sit down and let's talk" he said: "NO! I told you I'm done taking orders from you!!!" Distorted thinking at work.

 

So I told him this: "You want a divorce, it's gonna cost you 1/2", "divorce is expensive, especially when you've been married almost 20 years", "if I had kept the RO in place you wouldn't be here right now".

 

I had a low tire this morning. I went to the car shop and had them check it. There was a small cut in the side with a slow leak. I thought nothing of it at first. My SIL said: "It's your front right tire, hmmm" .

 

When I realized how angry he was at me once again, I asked him if he was the one who put a hole in my tire. His response: "I was no where near your house last night". What kind of answer is that?

 

Debilou

[Art_Critic]

Deb..

You need to talk to your attorney and have him and his attorney agree to stop going over each others house and such..

 

NC except when it involves the kids.. You are in a very explosive time right now and you don't need to be subject to his anger or screaming or even just his talk..

 

Manipulation/Fear is a tactic he will use to mold you into getting what he wants.

 

 

If you guys don't cut out the idle contact then it will likely explode into talking only thru attorneys..

Remember with all the emotions right now that everybodies including his are a raw peak right now..

[debilou]

Another day of drama. He came over yesterday. I was home sick from work, the kids were home because the schools were closed due to Wilma.

 

The same ole stuff~"you never loved me", "why would you want the kids to be around me", "everyone was more important to you than me".

 

I know NOW he's just manipulating me. I think I finally see the big picture. I ask him what he wants, his answer: "I want to be happy", my response: "Then you have to go to counseling".

 

I hope I can be strong enough to stick to my guns and have no conversations with him UNLESS he's in counseling. Otherwise it's through the attorney. He is unhealthy for me. He manipulates me. I'm getting stronger.

 

I actually see that he is just a speed bump for me. Usually I'm depressed after I'm with him but now I feel like I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Regardless what I do, he has to do his part and he hasn't even tried.

 

Debilou

[debilou]

I think I finally get it. I wrote a letter to him today. Simply stating that I no longer want to have any conversations with him unless and until he's in counseling. I told him not to come over when I'm home.

 

I called the lawyer, we have mediation scheduled for 12-9-05 ! ! ! I guess the wheels are really starting to turn. Soon he will have to put up or shut up.

 

No contact has been very difficult for me. I don't go to his house but he sure shows up at mine whenever the mood strikes.

 

I think that will definitely be on my list of negotiations in Dec. When and what time he's allowed at my house ! ! ! I feel like I'll really be in control of my own life for once in a long time.

 

Art Critic & LJ,

It kinda scares me that with him losing a whole lotta control all at once ($$$ and NC) that he'll go berzerk. I'm ready for it.

 

He actually said he was going to sign over his rights for the boys so that my "new boyfriend can be their new daddy!". I'm not even seeing anyone. That's just an example of what a jerk he can be. Over the top with threats!

 

He seems very depressed and miserable. I don't think he'll see the counselor. That's his choice. I can use that as my reason to avoid him completely.

 

Debilou

[debilou]

He showed up last Monday am. He said he couldn't find the phone # for the counselor. He must not know about 411.

 

I haven't had any contact with him since then.

 

He accomplished what he came over for. To get back into my head. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to get over. It makes me sick. I'm so lonely and sad.

 

The weekends are the hardest. Mon thru Fri I'm so busy with 2 part time jobs and the kids that I do fine. I know this is part of the process of healing.

 

Just needed to spill my guts for a few minutes.

 

Debilou

[dgiirl]

Debilou, you're doing great! Make sure if he HAS to show up, he continues to do it during weekdays. For me, it was easiest, atleast in the beginning, because then I had work to distract me. I dont know if you do anything already on weekends, but if not, start doing something, anything, even if it's just a visit around the city. I became a tourist of my own city and started taking a bunch of pictures. I loved it. It tired me out because of all the walking, and filled the entire day. I was out in public so I didnt have many chances to dwell on my situation.

 

Also, I would try to be strong and tell your ex that he's not allowed to just show up unannouced, especially for a phone number that could have been given to him via email. You are right in that he's trying to get back into your head. You just need to be strong and give him alternatives and make him do them. He's going to push the limits because he knows he can. You just have to teach him it's no longer going to work.

[Ladyjane14]

Plan B is for you, Sweetie. Everytime he drags you back into his drama you suffer an emotional setback. You feed the beast with every interaction.

 

You told him in your letter that there were certain terms that he would have to meet in order to have contact with you. In my opinion, your terms were not strong enough since it looks like you only demanded counseling of him. Your Plan B is too weak to be effectual in the first place. It's not "the roadmap to recovery". It doesn't force him to view his life through the window of imminent divorce.

 

Currently, he's not even honoring the one request you did make of him. If he's not "in counseling" then he's not committed to upholding your terms. Hence, he should NOT be in contact with you.

 

Plan B has always been difficult for you:( , and I understand that, really I do. But it's not until AFTER you create the vacuum effect of NEVER fulfilling any of his ENs that he will be forced to face the consequences of his choices.

 

The bubble of fantasy must be burst. He needs to understand that if he remains on his current course, there is NO ROOM in your life for him. You're not going to be his "friend", and you're not going to be his occasional f*ck-buddy. You're not going to involve yourself in furthering his relationships with his children, not as a help and not as a hindrance. You're not going to be a member of his family, and he is not welcome in yours. Plan B gives him a taste of all that, while it still counts.

 

It's a hard truth, but lots of people really do move on with their lives while in Plan B. The WS finally pulls his head out of his hindquarters two years after the fact only to discover that he's been left behind. Have you checked out JustPeachy's recent threads on MB, or Pebbles' updates?

 

Your most probable scenario is similar. You will finally move on with your life, you'll find happiness and satisfaction in it, and you won't WANT him anymore. You're not going to want him up your ass all the time, interfering in your life. Plan B will keep him at a distance NOW, so you don't have to break a precident that you allowed to be started.

 

It's sad for your WH, but it's still necessary. Plan B is his last chance and his only hope for reconcilliation, because it breaks through the fantasy. But more importantly, it's also the means by which YOU can begin to heal. Once you've redirected your focus and your energy to your own life, you're going to start feeling better.

[debilou]

Another chapter in the mid life crisis of the stbhx's life. He got a 2nd job. It's in a BAR!!! This is the man who in his 20's wouldn't go to a bar. OMG! I'm floored.

 

We aren't talking. I refuse to have any contact with him for any reason. The 2nd job info came from our son and MIL. She's as shocked and sickened as myself. He was helping with the kids T,Th & Fr evenings. Now the 2nd job puts an end to that.

 

LJ, I've been to MB and read justpeachy and pebbles. Thanks for the heads up. I need it.

 

I have a friend who will give stbxh any necessary information he needs. Concerning the kids ofcourse.

 

I have lost any tiny incriment of respect for him. His new lifestyle leaves me stunned, once again.

 

He obviously is living a new life and fulfilling adolescent dreams ? ? ? ! ! !

 

It's probably better this way. Now there's no question he's lost his mind!

 

My poor kids. No dad at all. My 15 yo starts counseling 12/6. I'm still in counseling. Feeling like a failure. I know I'm not. I'm doing the best I can with what I have.

 

Dec 9 is mediation. Soon this will all be over.

 

Debilou

[debilou]

What a month I've had. H missed mediation, he went on a field trip with our youngest. What a great dad he is! No legal strikes against him, they cancelled mediation.

 

Still no money for me.

 

I had to get a sitter for the boys on Tues, Thur & Fri because he was no longer making himself availble. I wrote him a formal and straight forward letter explaining what I had been forced to do and that I felt he no longer had the right to show up at the house any time he pleased.

 

And ofcourse he handled it like he's handled every other "losing control of me" thing that's happened. I'll skip all the little things and get to the big stuff.

 

He's been gone 14 months. I'm still in counseling. Our oldest son started couseling this month. I've been asked out by a few guys in the last year. I met a guy at work who really got my attention. We've been talking at work and on the phone. We did have Christmas dinner together because my kids go to their dad's mom's house holiday evenings. I have my kids 24/7 so no real dating time for me.

 

Christmas Eve on the way to my parents house 2 hours away, he calls my cell. I didn't have to take the call but I'm ready to openly "live the truth". We had a very brief conversation and I told him I would call him when I got to my parents house. My oldest son said:

 

son: who was that?

 

mom: a guy I work with.

 

son: sureeeeee

 

mom: yea, that's what happens when you get a divorce, you move on.

 

Pretty simple. Until he tells his dad. The long and the short of it is: Mom is a tramp. Even though dad finally admits he HAS a girlfriend to his mom and the two kids Wednesday night. My oldest son has taken his dad's side. I understand. Sure I'm hurt but I can take it.

 

STBXH tried to commit suicide last night. They Baker Acted him. I've known for a long time he needs help but he refuses to get it. Now I look like the bad guy. I'm ok, I can take care of myself.

 

I've been reading about borderline personalities and I think that could be him. My counselor urges me to stop trying to figure out what his problem is but it's hard. We have 2 kids together.

 

I'll keep you updated.

 

Debilou

[Ladyjane14]

I'm at a loss, Debilou. I'm not sure why you haven't divorced this guy yet. It's been 14 months and you're still involved with this situation.

 

Do you ever think that maybe both of you have become a little bit accustomed to the drama of it all? Certainly, suicide attempts are dramatic, as is much of the behavior illustrated over the course of the last 14 months.

 

Shortly after the reconcilliation of my marriage, I did notice a vacuum in the drama level when compared to previous events. At the time, I remember being very worried that momentum might be lost in our healing. I wondered what would happen when we no longer had this common goal to fight for.? What would happen when we finally arrived at our destination?

 

I'm thinking it's a possibility that what you're experiencing right now might not be too different from that....albeit on the opposite end ot the spectrum, divorce rather than reconcilliation. What would happen if you two ceased to be an important part of one another's daily lives? What would happen if your daily life was once again stable, maybe even a bit humdrum at times?

 

That might be a little scary to contemplate. What do you think?

[Guest]

Debilou, My name is Jen. I have been married 23 years.3 years ago our 16 yr old daughter died. The first year we were very close then he threw himself into his job(we own our own buisness). I went into a deep depression and he continued to stay after hours at the office. 2 weeks before Christmas this year a package came by FedEx while I was at the Office I opened it thinking it was something else (IT WAS A PASSPORT).

 

I just couldn't understand it he never went out of the country before. Curiousity got the best of me and I looked around the office there to my serprise I found a ticket to Bejing China and 2 books on Chinese language. I tried to explain it by thinking he had me a ticket too but the truth sank in and I was devestated.

 

I confronted him and told him to come clean. He sat there and told me he met a woman on line and they talked since July and he was going to meet her. He turned 43 and his mother died in May. At first I asked him if he had a brain tumor or an annurism or had a break down or if he was a spy he said he did not know why he did this then he said he always tried to do what was expected of him & he wanted to do something off the wall & I said you sure did.

 

We have a 16 year old son now and I was so concerned for his well being. I made my husband stay in our bedroom for our sons sake until Christmas. I wanted to hit him , I pittyed him , I even laughed at him I was so emotional. We had been going to a marriage councelor because before this came out he was hinting that he didn"t know if he loved me anymore and we weren"t happy. We argued alot so he stayed in the other bedroom until 2 weeks ago he got an apartment. It broke our heart (me & my son).

 

The therapist says its not me and he is confused and in crisis. I have been reading the bible alot and praying. He is seeing a therapist and I am trying to forgive and yesturday was our sons 16 birthday. Last week we went on a date & had a good time. Last night was Valentines Day he gave me a card 2 boxes of candy, a bouquet of tulips (my favorite) with a card asking 4 forgivness,& a jewelry chest. He hasn't been romantic in years and thats what I told him I needed to see a change. I know its still going to be hard but I am going to try to make it work.I hope he stays that way. I just wanted you to know your not alone. thanks ,Jen

[debilou]

I'm back! It's been a long few months but I'm on the road to recovery. Time does heal all wounds and tells all tales!

 

The counselor we saw together finally told me he believes my stbxh has "narcassitic personality disorder" and attachment issues. After the suicide attempt I told him I needed to know what I was dealing with.

 

Mediation is scheduled for 4/27! Yea. I don't have much time to post but I'll be back soon. My sister bought me a computer for my birthday. I moved out of my stbxh inheritance property 12/28/05. Happy to be in MY own home.

 

Thanks to everyone out there.

 

Debilou

[debilou]

Update . . . the 4/06 mediation didn't happen because he was in the hospital. Finally had mediation 9/06. 6 1/2 hours of gut wrenching, life passing before me, etc. STBXH still unemployed (medical issue now).

 

We agreed on mediation. To avoid more money for the court thing. I agreed to stay married until 2/07 so he could have a colostomy reversal. Remember he has inheritance so he gets rent money. None that can be proven. No money for me, just my job of 25 hours per week. UPS, full insurance benefits for entire family. I work another part time job also.

 

Check this out. My attorney calls me yesterday. His attorney is asking for 60 more days of marital bliss so he can have 60 more days of insurance coverage. Ha, ha, ha. They can't be serious. Can they?

 

I called him and left a message for him to call me so we could talk about this. He hasn't called me back. I have the tape recorder ready if he does. If he doesn't I'm going to be divorced the first week of February.

 

Amazing, simply amazing. I lost financially in this divorce but I have gained a sense of peace and stability I've never known.

 

Hmmm, what next.

 

Debilou

[Ladyjane14]

Update . . . the 4/06 mediation didn't happen because he was in the hospital. Finally had mediation 9/06. 6 1/2 hours of gut wrenching, life passing before me, etc. STBXH still unemployed (medical issue now).

 

We agreed on mediation. To avoid more money for the court thing. I agreed to stay married until 2/07 so he could have a colostomy reversal. Remember he has inheritance so he gets rent money. None that can be proven. No money for me, just my job of 25 hours per week. UPS, full insurance benefits for entire family. I work another part time job also.

 

Check this out. My attorney calls me yesterday. His attorney is asking for 60 more days of marital bliss so he can have 60 more days of insurance coverage. Ha, ha, ha. They can't be serious. Can they?

 

I called him and left a message for him to call me so we could talk about this. He hasn't called me back. I have the tape recorder ready if he does. If he doesn't I'm going to be divorced the first week of February.

 

Amazing, simply amazing. I lost financially in this divorce but I have gained a sense of peace and stability I've never known.

 

Hmmm, what next.

 

Debilou

 

I never fail to appreciate the audacity of this guy. He's been a manipulative, narcissitic, ASS-CLOWN from day one.

 

Seriously, he literally abandoned you and the kids... paying NOTHING for the financial support of his family. And still managed to get you to insure him through major surgery. Now he wants more. Absolutely extraordinary gall. If we look up the word "clueless" in the dictionary... we ought to see his name and street address.

 

I'm glad to hear you're finally putting all this behind you, Debilou. Lord knows, you took the high road and behaved alot more generously toward him than he deserved.