sedgwick Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) That's pretty much it. Six years since a year-long relationship. No contact. Still coping. Still in love with him. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Edited November 26, 2013 by sedgwick
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 That's pretty much it. Six years since a year-long relationship. No contact. Still coping. Still in love with him. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Hi. I read the post before you edited it. Have you had problems with insecurity/anxiety/depression before the BU? I ask because I'll hide away in my home indefinitely when I'm depressed. For years even. I am disordered and like to encourage people with a lifetime of these patterns to find out if they have a disorder themselves. It can really help with that confusing feeling of "WTF is wrong with me?" If it is a new and unexpected change in how you handle things, then sorry I couldn't be more help. I know how dark those pits of depression can be. 3
SerCay Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Yes OP, Definitely something underlying..find it out. This is not about your ex or heartbreak anymore, this is clinging to the thought of the relationship because of an underlying problem with yourself. Good luck finding out! XO
RespectfullyAlone Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 That's pretty much it. Six years since a year-long relationship. No contact. Still coping. Still in love with him. Is anyone else in a similar situation? If someone has a perfound impact on your life, you may remember them for the rest of your days. You may still feel love always. So I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. No amount of therapy or medication can dull a love for someone. It may dull your senses and how you perceive the world, but sometimes love just stays in your heart. The best way to remove this love... replace it with something better. In my case I have no hope of this ever happening. But for some people it does occur. Once you've reached that point, you won't be still in love with anyone from your past. You'll be madly in love with someone new in the present. 1
Yasuandio Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hon, I've held out hope for 5 years. But, that would be for a 28 year marriage that ended in divorce a year ago. The separation and divorce took four years to accomplish. I held out hope, it was like having my arm amputated day acted day with a needle. I see him drive through my neighborhood and sub-division, and the "mind-reading" BS starts. But I have accepted it, and have let go. I just don't need any reminders. This is my moving on plan for the coming year. Maybe it will give you some ideas. I'm making it impossible for U's to be together again. My girlfriend of 20 years (who has been here for me during this difficult period), is re-locating to live with me in my home. She is disabled with a serious blood desease which causes her bad pain in her legs - so she stays on strong meds at all times. I will be her cook. We have everything worked out. It will help both of us financially, and companionship-wise. Now, I know for a fact the day will come when HE knocks on the door. It most often happens when you move on with your life. Whom do you think I will choose? It will most certainly be too late - as this is a serious commitment I am entering into. Now, I am much older than you are. But the suggestion is the same. You must change your life drastically to shake yourself out of this perpetual funeral. Mourning a one-year relationship is not what you are doing. You are suffering from some sort of dis-order, and you need to see a doctor - probably a psychiatrist, for evaluation. Can you think of a dream or a goal that you would like to achieve? Tell us? If you could do or accomplish anything, what would that be? Please tell us. Yas
Author sedgwick Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Yasuandio, how do you know my age? I didn't write it in the post, but I'm 42. Also, I've seen a therapist and a psychiatrist. I'm no stranger to mental health issues and treatment, trust me! I just simply can't get over this one. Just can't. And I know it's ridiculous. A friend whose wife left him at the same time my ex left me has been remarried for two years. Another friend whose husband died three years ago has been in another relationship for a year. At this point I'm just embarrassed to say that I'm still pining over this man who probably doesn't even remember me.
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