Jules78 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I looked at stupid FB again. I know, I know! But when you are ditched and they refuse to talk to you I feel like I'm grasping for anything! So his new gf of 3 weeks (we ended it 3 weeks ago hmmm) changed her profile pic to them kissing. It stung a tiny bit (mind you I was a basket case on Sat) but I actually caught myself snickering. She kind of looks like me. From their pictures, he's taking her where he used to take me. It made me realize that I'm probably right. He's trying to replace me and is pretending she is me. I really believe he is that whackadoodle. It's all very strange. It made me feel better because it literally looked like she was photoshopped into our lives when I exited. No way in hell he loves this chick. He loves the attention and companionship. She's not me and never will be no matter how hard he tries to make it so. Felt like a tiny victory in my healing today.
acidios Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Felt like a tiny victory in my healing today. maybe it feels like a victory now but later? you know about fb etc and the NC rule i will not talk about it.but are you sure ok? for me if i see my exgf kissing on a pic i will break my pc.
Author Jules78 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 maybe it feels like a victory now but later? you know about fb etc and the NC rule i will not talk about it.but are you sure ok? for me if i see my exgf kissing on a pic i will break my pc. It's not the first time he's done this to me. I knew I'd never take him back if it happened again. It did and I couldn't take him back. That was the second time with his ex that he did this to me. The FB girl is brand new. It's a pattern. It's how he is. I can't change him and I've accepted that. Of course it still hurts but not nearly as bad as the first time he did this to me. I can only take so much. He goes from one relationship to the next. He doesn't know what love is!
ByMyself01 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I'm nosey too. People here have been telling me to stay off his FB and his current GF Facebook and Instagram, but I'm curious and pics and things shock me at first then they subside. Luckily, I haven't found any pics of them together yet. The main thing I've found was a breakfast pic that I know he made for her. They aren't even back friends on Facebook. Also, she is nowhere on his profile and she is not allowed to post pics or tag him in statuses. Their relationship is very weird, because he never did that to me. He added me on his profile for everyone to see.
acidios Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 It's not the first time he's done this to me. I knew I'd never take him back if it happened again. It did and I couldn't take him back. That was the second time with his ex that he did this to me. The FB girl is brand new. It's a pattern. It's how he is. I can't change him and I've accepted that. Of course it still hurts but not nearly as bad as the first time he did this to me. I can only take so much. He goes from one relationship to the next. He doesn't know what love is! Jules78 lots of people dont know what love is and they make people like us suffer.they just want to have a good time if they are ok no problem they are diplomats they dont care for what you me enyone feels or the pain they cause.this man is dead history for you thats how you must deal with dont bother even looking his fb not worth it if you get pain.
acidios Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I'm nosey too. People here have been telling me to stay off his FB and his current GF Facebook and Instagram, but I'm curious and pics and things shock me at first then they subside. Luckily, I haven't found any pics of them together yet. The main thing I've found was a breakfast pic that I know he made for her. They aren't even back friends on Facebook. Also, she is nowhere on his profile and she is not allowed to post pics or tag him in statuses. Their relationship is very weird, because he never did that to me. He added me on his profile for everyone to see. curiosity killed the cat enyway really i dont know how you are able to look at their fb for me to do that is nightmare. my emotions go at war instant.you are stronger that me.
Logan oO Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I looked at stupid FB again. I know, I know! But when you are ditched and they refuse to talk to you I feel like I'm grasping for anything! So his new gf of 3 weeks (we ended it 3 weeks ago hmmm) changed her profile pic to them kissing. It stung a tiny bit (mind you I was a basket case on Sat) but I actually caught myself snickering. She kind of looks like me. From their pictures, he's taking her where he used to take me. It made me realize that I'm probably right. He's trying to replace me and is pretending she is me. I really believe he is that whackadoodle. It's all very strange. It made me feel better because it literally looked like she was photoshopped into our lives when I exited. No way in hell he loves this chick. He loves the attention and companionship. She's not me and never will be no matter how hard he tries to make it so. Felt like a tiny victory in my healing today. Jules, you gotta let it go. It is meaningless in the grand scheme of things to think anything of an ex's movements and/or choices. Doing what you have been doing, is just torture, i blocked my ex on all social media. I even blocked her on something that she can't even communicate with me on, but i just didn't want to see her name 'Simpsons Tapped Out' game. Nobody wants to replace someone they don't want in their lives. If they wanted someone like you, they'd still be with you. I know it's hard, believe me i really do know it's hard. You have to take the first step to accepting you are powerless to change 'what is' and start trying to look at the bigger picture, the world is now open again. I hate seeing so many people go through their own 'hell' from relationships on here, because we all lean on one another for support. It's like Rehab for broken relationships lol 2
maturityassets Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I know NC is difficult, more so the social media part. For while I wasn't talking about my ex, brief glimpse at her Facebook couldn't hurt. But once she got a boyfriend and the first photo they posted together was at Coney island I stopped completely. The reason is Coney Island was our spot and my mind would start racing in thoughts such as "still trying to get me jealous after all this time." After that I knew it would be unhealthy to keep checking. 4 months NC now and it's completely different in comparison to taking occasional looks at their page. The reason is you no longer feel connected to them. And I know you are trying to saying you are "nosey by nature" but that seems to be a rationalization and rationalizations are often times just self deceptions and excuses to do what you really want and that is to still feel connected to him. If it is truly a rebound for him then it'll end on its terms but not because you keep checking because for all you know it could be 6 months later and they are still together and you are reminded how little significance you now play in their life. We just want to see what is best for you is all. Best of luck
Author Jules78 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 I understand what all of you are saying but I really can't help myself. It's only been 3 weeks and I know l'll get better. I know she's his second choice because I refused to take him back. The fact that he was already lining her up makes care even less. When we met it was the same thing. Out of love with one and into love with another. Same words. They mean nothing. He can't be alone for one day. He takes no time between relationships. That's how I know our 2 1/2 years together was not love to him. It was him getting his ego stroked and him having a warm body to keep him company. Unfortunately for me, I truly loved him. But my love for him did take a blow each time he betrayed me. I know I'm better off. If this was the first time he did this to me I feel like I might not recover. I feel hopeful that I will recover and I'm not bursting into tears every few seconds. I still feel the loss but the loss of what? Someone I would never trust. Someone who can easily cast women aside to satisfy their own needs. He told me how much he loved me the same day he started a relationship with her. I mean really! I will let it go as soon as I feel the need to talk about it less. As soon as I feel the need to not care. I can only see their profile and cover photos on FB so luckily for me I can't see their every move. I have a good friend I've know for 20 years. I won't have my son this weekend and I can't bare the thought of sitting home while everyone is enjoying the holidays. He's going to take me away for the weekend because I need it! He's knows what I've been going through and his friendship has really helped me.
sun1972 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Its best to take them off When i split with my partner 16 days ago i obsessively looked at her pics on there, and took her off, i didnt have your issue, but seeing her posting apparently happily the day we split made me feel awful as if i was the only one upset. i felt better once id taken her off admittedly when she sent a mail asking to re-add her i did, but.... You can never believe what your seeing on facebook.. my ex isnt the sort to play games, but she still seemed happy from her posts Guess what.. we met this sat and talked..she had been doing the same obsessive stuff as me (but with letters n cards n pics id sent) and.. despite her apparently 'happy' posts she revealed she did nothing but cry the first few days So in short...facebook = trouble, take him off .
bobby326 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Trust me, avoid FB by all means, you can still go on it but block every possible way of finding out info about your ex. I've never mentioned this on this forum but I dated a girl in college for 2 1/2 years, after we broke up I kept tabs on her FB and it took me FOREVER to get over her, my recent breakup was a much more serious relationship and far more damagin to me and after 3 months I feel like I've made more progress then I did in 8 months on my last relationship, for one reason, hardcore NC. I wish we lived in the 1960s and didn't have all these temptations but we don't so we have to take matters into our own hands. I know that anything I see on her page, even if its insignificant I will overanalyze and read into, I simply can't handle it, maybe one day when I'm moved on and love someone else I can look at it and figure out where her life went, that is a long long time from now though, bottom line stop looking.
Author Jules78 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Jules, you gotta let it go. It is meaningless in the grand scheme of things to think anything of an ex's movements and/or choices. Doing what you have been doing, is just torture, i blocked my ex on all social media. I even blocked her on something that she can't even communicate with me on, but i just didn't want to see her name 'Simpsons Tapped Out' game. Nobody wants to replace someone they don't want in their lives. If they wanted someone like you, they'd still be with you. I know it's hard, believe me i really do know it's hard. You have to take the first step to accepting you are powerless to change 'what is' and start trying to look at the bigger picture, the world is now open again. I hate seeing so many people go through their own 'hell' from relationships on here, because we all lean on one another for support. It's like Rehab for broken relationships lol He couldn't still be with me because I wouldn't let him. What is messing with my head is how quickly he moved on to someone else even though knowing his history it didn't necessarily surprise me. I think what stung the most is his month long attempt to get me back while he was lining up the next girl at the same time. Horrible! He has no idea I can even see his page. He blocked me the day he created it. He probably doesn't even know that I know he has one. But there are ways around that obviously. He does know that I found out about her (on Twitter) because I mentioned it in my last email to him almost two weeks ago. He promptly deleted that account. I know he is a POS but I am still obsessing for some reason.
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