Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 If a guy took the time to write me something, I would think that it was really sweet and awesome. :-) I say, go for it. Thanks, I am working on something right now. If nothing else, hopefully she will feel good about getting it. I will let her make the call of what she wants to do next. Do you have any idea of how to give it to her? Would the I think you dropped this work or is that too corny?
Moe'sTavern Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Before you hand her some love poem(which I wouldn't recommend), why don't you (as a previous poster wrote) just introduce yourself and see how she responds to you.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Before you hand her some love poem(which I wouldn't recommend)' date=' why don't you (as a previous poster wrote) just introduce yourself and see how she responds to you.[/quote'] I have no idea where to start the conversation, plus she b lines it out of class, so this might be the best way to catch her quickly
AnyaNova Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Thanks, I am working on something right now. If nothing else, hopefully she will feel good about getting it. I will let her make the call of what she wants to do next. Do you have any idea of how to give it to her? Would the I think you dropped this work or is that too corny? The "dropping" ploy might have an element of meet-cute to it, but there are too many variables that could go wrong, like, the wrong girl picking it up! Also, I think if it were me, I would respect you more for having the courage to walk up to me and hand it to me. Especially, if I had been watching you a little and suspected how shy you were. The fact that you worked up the courage to do so would say a lot for you and your character to me in a highly positive way.
AnyaNova Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I have no idea where to start the conversation, plus she b lines it out of class, so this might be the best way to catch her quickly She is a shy one, isn't she? :-) I suspect that Moe's? advice would work well for him, and he would come off in the best light by just introducing himself. I tend to suspect that for you, given your shyness, that something written would be a very good way to go for you, and would tend to put you in the best light for a first impression. Shy girls often, not always, but often are rather dreamy in nature. These girls very well might find all kinds of intrigue and interest by being given a written note that the non-shy might not be able to appreciate in the same way.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 She is a shy one, isn't she? :-) I suspect that Moe's? advice would work well for him, and he would come off in the best light by just introducing himself. I tend to suspect that for you, given your shyness, that something written would be a very good way to go for you, and would tend to put you in the best light for a first impression. Shy girls often, not always, but often are rather dreamy in nature. These girls very well might find all kinds of intrigue and interest by being given a written note that the non-shy might not be able to appreciate in the same way. I have no idea if she is shy or not, I just always see her with her friend that is also in the class and makes it that much tougher for me because I haven't really done this before.
jba10582 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I have no idea if she is shy or not, I just always see her with her friend that is also in the class and makes it that much tougher for me because I haven't really done this before. Go practice on other people that you have not developed some attachment to already. Go up to some stranger, a old lady, a guy, anyone. Notice something about them and strike up a conversation, its not that strange or abnormal at all, it becomes part of daily life if you allow it too. I was at the store earlier today, saw a guy with an MMA shirt on and asked him if trained in town, he actually went on more about it than I actually wanted because I was legitimately interested in taking up a martial arts soon. A woman commented on my hat and she liked the sports team that the log entailed and we talked about for a few minutes. Nothing ever bad happened and nothing will be as bad as anything that you make up in your head and allow yourself to feel. Become aware of your surrounding, you will find many things to talk about. Smile at people also, you'll find they actually smile back in friendly ways. Take baby steps as you become more and more comfortable making conversations. And let go of any expectations of the outcomes because you do not know what the other person has experienced that day nor do you even care. You gage how friendly, angry, standoffish or open someone a lot by their body language posture, smiles ect...
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Go practice on other people that you have not developed some attachment to already. Go up to some stranger, a old lady, a guy, anyone. Notice something about them and strike up a conversation, its not that strange or abnormal at all, it becomes part of daily life if you allow it too. I was at the store earlier today, saw a guy with an MMA shirt on and asked him if trained in town, he actually went on more about it than I actually wanted because I was legitimately interested in taking up a martial arts soon. A woman commented on my hat and she liked the sports team that the log entailed and we talked about for a few minutes. Nothing ever bad happened and nothing will be as bad as anything that you make up in your head and allow yourself to feel. Become aware of your surrounding, you will find many things to talk about. Smile at people also, you'll find they actually smile back in friendly ways. Take baby steps as you become more and more comfortable making conversations. And let go of any expectations of the outcomes because you do not know what the other person has experienced that day nor do you even care. You gage how friendly, angry, standoffish or open someone a lot by their body language posture, smiles ect... Yea I have been trying that, but with only a week left in the semester I don't have nearly enough time to start to get comfortable with it. I got to do something soon or else I might not have another chance. 1
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Don't miss the opportunity.. you won't get it again. 1
AnyaNova Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Yea I have been trying that, but with only a week left in the semester I don't have nearly enough time to start to get comfortable with it. I got to do something soon or else I might not have another chance. I think given the little amount of time you have left, coupled with the time it would take to get comfortable striking up conversation (does that actually ever happen to shy people?), your plan to write something is the best one out there. Write something good, and as I said before, carpe cutie!
jba10582 Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 definitely pulling for you one this one. Let go of any attachments you may have to the outcome or to this girl at the present moment. understand that HER reaction to anything you do has NOTHING to do with who YOU are.
Moe'sTavern Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Since you two are in the same class, why not ask her about what she thinks of the class, or the teacher...Heck, you can ask how she did on a test...etc...
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Since you two are in the same class' date=' why not ask her about what she thinks of the class, or the teacher...Heck, you can ask how she did on a test...etc...[/quote'] I was just about to do that the other day and it got messed up when she hung around after class with her friend to speak to the professor about a question. I could ask her if she is ready for the final. The problem that I have with that is that I have asked girls about school before, it's usually the only thing I talk to them about, and it doesn't go anywhere beyond that.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 definitely pulling for you one this one. Let go of any attachments you may have to the outcome or to this girl at the present moment. understand that HER reaction to anything you do has NOTHING to do with who YOU are. I understand what you are saying 100%. I can only do my part and however she reacts is on her. At the end of the day, I can't lose anything because I don't have something to lose. I'll be honest though, I have built her up at this point because I didn't act initially when she caught my eye. That's what makes it tougher. I can talk to girls that I'm not attracted to without a hitch, but when I find the girl attractive I get butterflies and fumble instead of talking.
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) Please don't write her a letter. Your over-thinking will get involved. It's just too awkward. Maybe the problem is thinking you have to lock it in on the first conversation. You see her several times a week? I suggest you don't put her in the position of having to make a decision right away whether or not to hang out with you. The advice about giving her a compliment to break the ice is excellent. You don't have to hang around after, just pay her a compliment, smile and either be on your way or say "see you tomorrow." Give her some time to come the conclusion that you like her on her own. That way, she can get comfortable with the idea and you aren't putting her on the spot. I think it's best if she's intrigued by you first. Coming on too strong, too early could work against you because it isn't your style. You want to converse with her before you get to that point. Be authentic. It's not a cold approach in a bar so you don't have to seal the deal. If she responds well to you being nice to her, it might give you the confidence to ask her out for ice cream or whatever it is you do. I think while she knows so little about you, she's more likely to hesitate. She may not yet be sure if she wants to spend one-on-one time with you, but could play it safe and turn you down. You are likely to give up when this happens. Do not make any grand gestures. No poems or love letters. Just try being nice. If she doesn't appreciate that, then you wouldn't work out anyway. Edited November 30, 2013 by AShogunNamedMarcus
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Please don't write her a letter. Your over-thinking will get involved. It's just too awkward. Maybe the problem is thinking you have to lock it in on the first conversation. You see her several times a week? I suggest you don't put her in the position of having to make a decision right away whether or not to hang out with you. The advice about giving her a compliment to break the ice is excellent. You don't have to hang around after, just pay her a compliment, smile and either be on your way or say "see you tomorrow." Give her some time to come the conclusion that you like her on her own. That way, she can get comfortable with the idea and you aren't putting her on the spot. I think it's best if she's intrigued by you first. Coming on too strong, too early could work against you because it isn't your style. You want to converse with her before you get to that point. Be authentic. It's not a cold approach in a bar so you don't have to seal the deal. If she responds well to you being nice to her, it might give you the confidence to ask her out for ice cream or whatever it is you do. I think while she knows so little about you, she's more likely to hesitate. She may not yet be sure if she wants to spend one-on-one time with you, but could play it safe and turn you down. You are likely to give up when this happens. Do not make any grand gestures. No poems or love letters. Just try being nice. If she doesn't appreciate that, then you wouldn't work out anyway. I only have class 2 more times before the semester is over. As much as I feel the need grand gesture because I have limited time and don't want to lose the chance by dragging it out, I know I would be in way over my head and probably scare her off. I've thought about talking about class and that would be a good ice breaker, but I do want to show some interest as well. Really I just want to show her that I'm interested and put the ball in her court. I'd really like to take her out, but only if she wants to. That's where I got the letter idea.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 DID I BLOW IT? So I saw her in the parking lot so I started speed walking to get to the the crosswalk at the same time, but she was still ahead of me, so i sprinted across the crosswalks and managed to get in front, right before the building. Then I held the door for her going into the building. Next, while I was in front of her I just said did you take the extra credit survey? The problem is I didn't even look at her or introduce myself or anything. She said that she was going to do it in class. I tried to continue the conversation by saying that I hope it doesn't take too long (even tho i had already done it). She just said yeah and I tried one last at least it's worth extra points before taking my seat. I thought about going up to her and introducing myself after I got situated in class, but my heart was racing and I could barely talk because I was so nervous. Then I couldn't decide if I was going to introduce myself with a handshake or just words. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen when I thought about talking about something in class. I don't know where to take it from here. I didn't really get any signs from her, but I also wasn't really looking and lets be honest talking about class at 9 in the morning probably won't peak too many girl's interest. I tried, but this only skimmed the surface it wasn't enough to break the ice unfortunately. Any thoughts about what to do now.
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