ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 So I have been in class with this girl for a semester now and I have always thought she was cute, but I never got the nerve to talk to her. The semester is coming to a close and I want to try to talk to her before it is too late, in case I never see her again. I feel like it is super awkward at this point because I have let the whole semester go by and she may or may not have caught me checking her out a few times during the class. The other problem is that I don't have a lot of time. I can't just introduce myself and talk here and there because of winter break and everything, so if I don't get her number I might be out of luck, but at the same time I don't want to freak her out by being so forward. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
AnyaNova Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 So I have been in class with this girl for a semester now and I have always thought she was cute, but I never got the nerve to talk to her. The semester is coming to a close and I want to try to talk to her before it is too late, in case I never see her again. I feel like it is super awkward at this point because I have let the whole semester go by and she may or may not have caught me checking her out a few times during the class. The other problem is that I don't have a lot of time. I can't just introduce myself and talk here and there because of winter break and everything, so if I don't get her number I might be out of luck, but at the same time I don't want to freak her out by being so forward. Any help would be greatly appreciated. On the one hand, I'm not a dude and this lack the knowledge to be able to help with the intricacies of getting a girl's number. What I can tell you though, is that you never know. You just might be surprised. Perhaps she has been checking you out all semester and wishing a little that you would try and get to know her. Of course, this answer has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that there might be a man in a class of mine that I would really like to get to know better and wish I could get around my own natural shyness with. Nothing at all. Why would you even think that? :-p. :-) But on a serious note, I think most of us women are not monsters, and even if we're not interested, any of us truly worth knowing, as long as the guy was respectful, would appreciate both the compliment and the courage it took to ask! 1
Moe'sTavern Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Try not to wait so long during your next semester. 1
Blade96 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 ask her for a short coffee or tea break during a time your both free. I like to do that, with guys of course, can't go wrong with a coffee. 1
jba10582 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 ask her for a short coffee or tea break during a time your both free. I like to do that, with guys of course, can't go wrong with a coffee. exactly...plus, even if she doesn't like coffee (which has happened to me), take her anyway. She'll find something she will drink, like hot chocolate or something else. AND, she'll appreciate the fact that you led her to some place that she probably would not go and will probably take that as something positive. For the longest time, my ex would NOT drink beer. When she would hang out while I was drinking beer, she would eventually ask for a drink, and then another sip, and then she would get her own beer (and say it was bad - at first). But then, after enough time, she would get her own beer until she developed her own taste in her own way. Don't mistake my encouragement for getting her to drink alcohol though, but, DO something YOU like, and, if she likes you enough over time, she may grow to also like whatever it is that you do. 1
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Yeah, I hear what you are saying because those are some good ideas, but my problem is the initial interaction. I think that I will be fine after I introduce myself, but that's the problem. The only time I have a chance to talk to her would be after class and she's got a friend that she usually walks out with, which makes it even harder. I am really kicking myself for not doing it earlier because then there would be time for it to naturally progress, but I am in a time crunch now. There are only a few classes left and after that who knows if our paths will cross again. I put myself in a bad position by waiting and am paying for it now. Im looking for advice to get me out of this ditch.
Dark_history Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Just ask, it's that simple. It can be as simple as "Hey you want to get some coffee together, my treat" The fact that you waited till the end of the semester isn't a factor. You could have been a relationship back then and are now single, she doesn't know. However if you have been starring at her like a creep and she knows it, well your chances are already gone Never hurts to ask and if you do and get rejected, at the very least your balls will grow a little from the experience
jba10582 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Sit close to them with a half cup of brewed coffee with a big SATISFIED smile on your face as you BREATH in deeply and take in the bittersweet aroma of that famous coffee house you have on campus ("mmmm this is soooo good") as you smile and make them jeaolous of that MAGIC hot drink that relaxes you, fills your body with warm sensations while keeping you hands toasty in the cold weather. AND you ask if they have tried it yet because you're heading back there after class because it is impossible to get enough! Anyway...felt like being descriptive there . Just ask, don't come across as a jackass. BUT if you don't ask, then, you will not know.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Sit close to them with a half cup of brewed coffee with a big SATISFIED smile on your face as you BREATH in deeply and take in the bittersweet aroma of that famous coffee house you have on campus ("mmmm this is soooo good") as you smile and make them jeaolous of that MAGIC hot drink that relaxes you, fills your body with warm sensations while keeping you hands toasty in the cold weather. AND you ask if they have tried it yet because you're heading back there after class because it is impossible to get enough! Anyway...felt like being descriptive there . Just ask, don't come across as a jackass. BUT if you don't ask, then, you will not know. LMAO I don't drink coffee though. I should probably just ask her if she wants to study for the final
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) Hi. I'm shy too. One thing I have learned is not to try to be too clever. I'd over think things and decide that I must say something that stands out. When I was in college, I thought this girl in my class was cute. In my head I'm like "be cool, confident, like in a movie"... I finally get the courage to talk to her. I introduce myself, remind her that we were in a statistics course together last semester and then... I say, "I dig your style." ... I was mentally face-palming. That was the first girl I had approached in, well, maybe the first girl I ever approached like that. On the drive home I just kept repeating it, "I dig your style!?" I can laugh about it now. Edited November 26, 2013 by AShogunNamedMarcus
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 I just let it linger too long. I would have done something similar to I dig your style, but hey at least you talked to her. That is exactly how I am. Even if it went well, I would still parse the conversation and find a way that I screwed it up. I made the mistake of not doing it at the beginning, but I guess now I know for next time
AnyaNova Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I just let it linger too long. I would have done something similar to I dig your style, but hey at least you talked to her. That is exactly how I am. Even if it went well, I would still parse the conversation and find a way that I screwed it up. I made the mistake of not doing it at the beginning, but I guess now I know for next time Don't give up now. There are still several weeks. Do you want to miss another chance, or at least know that you tried?
lifeunderground Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I'd walk up to her and say "Hey do you ever go to bars (or wherever you like)" Then based of her reaction slip her your number tell her to hit you up if she ever wants to hang out I did it to this guy that works by me and it's seemed to spark some interest He hasn't hit me up yet about hanging out but it did wonders for my confidence! Either way it's not the end of the world
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 That would be a great idea if I went to bars myself. I put myself at a huge disadvantage by not doing things like drinking coffee or going to bars, but it is what it is. I might have lost this one, but now I know not to wait and maybe there will be a new girl next semester and I will have learned from this.
AnyaNova Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 That would be a great idea if I went to bars myself. I put myself at a huge disadvantage by not doing things like drinking coffee or going to bars, but it is what it is. I might have lost this one, but now I know not to wait and maybe there will be a new girl next semester and I will have learned from this. I can totally hypocritically say this (because I don't plan on doing anything about my own situation, which I should), but come on. Does she speak in class at all? If she does, you could comment on something she has said, or says in class that seemed pretty intelligent, or that you had a question about it. It would give you something to start a conversation. Or is there something about her personality? Like, "I notice you always come in early, I really like that," or, "you always seem to think before you speak, and I like that you take the time to be sure of what you're going to say," or something along those lines? There's a cute girl there. And I suspect, that if she has caught you checking her out, and has not made a move to converse with you, or open up a door for you, that she may very well be shy too? Don't be like me. Don't be doomed to Mamilhapinatipai (that is so spelled wrong) forever! Carpe Cutie!
lifeunderground Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 That would be a great idea if I went to bars myself. I put myself at a huge disadvantage by not doing things like drinking coffee or going to bars, but it is what it is. I might have lost this one, but now I know not to wait and maybe there will be a new girl next semester and I will have learned from this. Do you have any other interests? Art, TVs shows ect. That was just a guideline just because you don't go to bars doesn't mean give up. If you're really shy you could always add her on facebook then strike up conversation.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 I don't see that as a good idea, I know she has a Facebook and twitter but that will only make matters worse.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 I can totally hypocritically say this (because I don't plan on doing anything about my own situation, which I should), but come on. Does she speak in class at all? If she does, you could comment on something she has said, or says in class that seemed pretty intelligent, or that you had a question about it. It would give you something to start a conversation. Or is there something about her personality? Like, "I notice you always come in early, I really like that," or, "you always seem to think before you speak, and I like that you take the time to be sure of what you're going to say," or something along those lines? There's a cute girl there. And I suspect, that if she has caught you checking her out, and has not made a move to converse with you, or open up a door for you, that she may very well be shy too? Don't be like me. Don't be doomed to Mamilhapinatipai (that is so spelled wrong) forever! Carpe Cutie! To be honest I don't know what it is about her, but I just can't help but be intrigued. I guess it would be her vibe.
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Do you have any other interests? Art, TVs shows ect. That was just a guideline just because you don't go to bars doesn't mean give up. If you're really shy you could always add her on facebook then strike up conversation. I think that would only make matters worse to add her on Facebook out of nowhere. I enjoy watching sports and some TV shows like HIMYM, Brooklyn nine nine, and shark tank, and playing video games. I feel like a turtle trapped in his shell. I am very hesitant, but once I get comfortable, then I start to come out of my shell and I'm fine, its just the initial meetings that are the worst for me. 1
lifeunderground Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I think that would only make matters worse to add her on Facebook out of nowhere. I enjoy watching sports and some TV shows like HIMYM, Brooklyn nine nine, and shark tank, and playing video games. I feel like a turtle trapped in his shell. I am very hesitant, but once I get comfortable, then I start to come out of my shell and I'm fine, its just the initial meetings that are the worst for me. I understand but think of it like this You drive yourself crazy wondering Wouldn't it be nice to find out and take a risk? The possibility that you will be rejected is there but then you can just pick yourself up with your newfound confidence and move on! (After the slight sting of rejection wears off) For all you know she could return your interest You never know till you try 1
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 I understand but think of it like this You drive yourself crazy wondering Wouldn't it be nice to find out and take a risk? The possibility that you will be rejected is there but then you can just pick yourself up with your newfound confidence and move on! (After the slight sting of rejection wears off) For all you know she could return your interest You never know till you try That is true. It would be nice to know because then I could close the door for good instead of living with the thought that the door might be still a crack open. It would also set me free from what might be/have been. 1
ks0985 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Just walk up and say hi. Be up front and confident worst case scenario she says no better than not knowing 1
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I try to tell myself that, but when I see her everything goes out the windows and I get as nervous as can be. I've tried to tell myself that I have a 0 percent chance by doing nothing, so the chance has to go up if I do ask, but I still haven't managed to get it done. 1
Author ShyGuy5 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I have been thinking, which isn't always a good thing because that is how I landed myself in this situation by over thinking a simple interaction, and I thought about writing a note or letter to her. I was thinking either a poem or just something honest about the situation and ending with if you ever want to grab coffee or a drink heres my number. I think it would be best for both parties. It would put the ball in her court and allow her to decide what she wants to do. It would also allow me to control what I say because I am really worried that I would put my foot in my mouth at first by either saying something corny or just being super nervous in general. I am usually fine, but the initial conversation with new people doesn't always go to well for me. The other reason for it would be that it would give me closure. I wouldn't have to deal with the regret of doing nothing or holding my feelings in. I have some time this weekend to write. I would like some other opinions on this, thanks! 1
AnyaNova Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I have been thinking, which isn't always a good thing because that is how I landed myself in this situation by over thinking a simple interaction, and I thought about writing a note or letter to her. I was thinking either a poem or just something honest about the situation and ending with if you ever want to grab coffee or a drink heres my number. I think it would be best for both parties. It would put the ball in her court and allow her to decide what she wants to do. It would also allow me to control what I say because I am really worried that I would put my foot in my mouth at first by either saying something corny or just being super nervous in general. I am usually fine, but the initial conversation with new people doesn't always go to well for me. The other reason for it would be that it would give me closure. I wouldn't have to deal with the regret of doing nothing or holding my feelings in. I have some time this weekend to write. I would like some other opinions on this, thanks! If a guy took the time to write me something, I would think that it was really sweet and awesome. :-) I say, go for it.
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