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If your ex doesn't want to get back together, does that mean I should give up?

AngelicAria

By AngelicAria
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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If your ex boyfriend after a week of NC says they dont want to get back together.

 

Does that mean getting back with them is impossible?

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

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If your ex boyfriend after a week of NC says they dont want to get back together.

 

Does that mean getting back with them is impossible?

 

Always act like it's impossible.

 

If it turns out otherwise, it's a nice surprise.

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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It's been a month since be said that. And the reason was because I said "I want to be friends for now" and he said he had no intention on getting back together.

 

He's not been talking to me but he hasn't unfriended me on Facebook and he's been around but pretending I'm not there, so I blocked him.

 

My ex is a very stubborn person who claims he doesn't get jealous or sad. He likes to go with the flow of things.

 

It's been a month since we broke up. We dated once a week for two months. I fell in love with him and be broke up with me because I said something hurtful.

 

A week later he contacted me and I was happy. I said "we should be friends for now" and he quickly replied with "I have no intention on getting back together."

 

I really like this guy and we have many mutual friends and are both cosplayer/gamer nerds.

 

Is there any hope or should I give up?

LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

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I'm sorry to say but, it sounds like he made his decision. I'm so sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear. Believe me, I know how painful that is!

 

There is someone out there that wouldn't dream of letting you go or risk losing you. I tell myself that all the time. Much easier to say it then believe it when we are in so much pain but, it really is true.

 

Stay strong, keep busy and work on yourself. Don't let him ruin your holiday! Remember all that you are blessed with. I bet it's a lot!!!

((hugs))

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feelingtorn Established Member

feelingtorn

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Well, my ex told me the same after 2 years and 7 months. It has been 3 months after BU. I think about the same question ALL THE TIME.

 

Should I stick to NC or forget my pride and ask him ONE MORE TIME to avoid having any regret. But, I know better. I should not beg him to love me. He is a big boy. He know where I live and what my phone number is. If he wants me back, he will let me know. Till then, I am going to focus on me and my own happiness.

 

BTW, I am scheduled to pay off my mortgage this Wed. Super ecstatic.

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ks0985 Established Member

ks0985

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Waiting and giving the relationship a glimmer of hope in your head just ends up causing the grieving/sad/depressed phase to last much longer than it needs to. Focus on moving on right away and if they decide to change their mind then at least you have a clear head and can decide if its worth it then.

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feelingtorn Established Member

feelingtorn

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The other thing I tell myself is that it is called BU because it it BROKEN UP.

 

That relationship is over and done. If you place a dirty spoon right in front of your eyes, you cannot tell how dirty it is. You need a distance to be able to see all the details. Give your ex and yourself some distance and time. I am not talking 1-2 weeks, but several months.

 

Try to be happy and be your best self. Several months later, if you still want him, I don't think it will hurt to contact him again. Not to give your old relationship another chance, but to start a brand new relationship.

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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I'm in tears, I never cheated on him or anything like all his exes did. I never lied to him and he dumped me for being scared he'd leave me

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Pretty much rarely happens. Sorry. Proceed as if they are dead to you. Cav

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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Okay I will give up hoping hell come back to me. Even thoigh I really liked him. I'm 20 and he's 21 if it makes a difference.

LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

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Okay I will give up hoping hell come back to me. Even thoigh I really liked him. I'm 20 and he's 21 if it makes a difference.

It doesn't make a difference, I mean not really. Your pain is just as real as anyone's.

 

What you do have to your advantage is you are getting experience and once you survive this (and you will!!!) you then realize you can love again and overcome incredible heartbreak.

 

((hugs))

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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I just give up. Actually.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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You won't get a straight, concrete answer unless you did something obvious. Just leave it be. I know it's not the answer you want, but it's the reality sadly.

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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Yeah I don't want to come off as the "psycho ex girlfriend".

nevergoodenough Established Member

nevergoodenough

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A week of NC is unlikely to change someone's mind, unless they're co-dependent.

 

He said no, it sounds like he means no.

 

My ex was co dependent and a week didn't phase her ;/

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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Yeah I'm trying to do no contact for months and try saying something t him.

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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I'm studying techniques that will improve my chances.

flight E Established Member

flight E

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As strange as it sounds the best technique is to let go n heal

flight E Established Member

flight E

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After that you can go abt trying to get them back. But you just have to heal 1st if not it will be a futile attempt. The contradiction is that the only time you can actually get them back is when you don't care if you get them back

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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Yeah, this guy means THAT much to me

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AngelicAria Member

AngelicAria

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Getting the cold shoulder from an ex is painful.

SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

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If your ex doesn't want to get back together, does that mean I should give up?

 

 

No, my ex has nothing to do with your life, unless there is something you're not telling me.

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MoooOinkBaaa Established Member

MoooOinkBaaa

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****ing LOL^

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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I'm studying techniques that will improve my chances.

 

There are no techniques to increase your chances.

 

An ex only comes back if they WANT to come back. Nothing you do or say, or any tricks, or magic spells, etc is going to convince him to come back if HE DOESN'T WANT TO.

 

He already said he had no intention of getting back together with you. That's your answer. It's done. Finished.

 

You need to move on with your life and focus on you. Not focus on reading tips and tricks and techniques for getting him back.

 

The only thing that's going to happen if you go NC for months and then suddenly reappear to talk to him is that his ego is going to be stroked. He's going to thing, "Oh wow. This chick is still obsessed with me and still thinking about me. I must be really amazing :cool:."

 

That's the thing with breakups and subsequent actions. Some girls go crazy and they do all the wrong things and the guy STILL comes back, in the end, it's because he wanted to come back. Or a girl can do everything right, go NC, move on, be happy, act sane, and the guy is never heard from again.

 

If he wants you back, he knows where to find you.

Edited by KatZee
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