Mjm1014 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I've been dating my girlfriend for five months now and care about her deeply. Although my girlfriend always makes time for me and always agrees to hang out, for the past month my girlfriend just doesn't seem as into me as she once was...She always argues with me, doesn't call or text as much as she use to, and when I try to kiss her sometimes she just doesn't kiss back passionately-it sometimes feels as if I'm annoying her. Basically she doesn't show as much affection as she use to but I know she enjoys spending time with me. I try talking to her about it, but she says she doesn't understand where I'm coming from and she is sick of me asking if "everything is okay?" Anyways, here is the part that confuses me.... We spent most of the weekend together and at the beginning she seemed distant, not showing much affection, becoming argumentative but then we ended up having a blast together. I said the words "I love you" before bed and she got a blank face and a smirk and said "are you serious?" and I said "Yeah" and she said "I've been doing some thinking lately about that word but we will talk about it later" and she changed the subject rolled over and went to sleep with me thinking "wtf" and slightly let down. No explanation, she just kind of shrugged it off and made me feel like an idiot. She even went to sleep knowing I was slightly hurt.. My question is...how do I handle this? I don't want to push for her to say it back but it makes me question if she is rethinking our relationship especially since she's been slightly distant lately. Do you think I'm over reacting or not?
crederer Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I'd suggest backing off a bit. She probably is in the state of mind where she needs some space and the harder you try, the further you'll push her away. Good luck, OP.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 She doesn't love you...you're acting insecure, clingy, dependent on her from the sound of it...women hate guys like that, simply are repulsed by them. She's arguing with you because whatever she is feeling/thinking going through is bothering her and she's not facing the real issues...but its likely just the relationship, she sounds bored and withdrawing from it. She is likely going to continue beating around the bush and avoid answering your questions...do you get that she is avoiding you? you need to realize that. I don't think there is anything you can do honestly, you can get some hopeful advice from the other members on LS that will make up theories and ideas of this, that and the other thing...but in my opinion at this point unless she's withdrawing or having issues with some other major life issue it's you who she is getting over, she likes the company, the companionship and attention...all women want and many need that from a man period but as far as her emotions for you, they definitely don't seem to be there and you cannot force someone to feel a way they do not. However you don't seem like the kind of guy that is going to walk away easily...and I don't think she's going to tell you straight up because she's lying to herself and doesn't want to be honest with you.
InnocentMan Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Being the first person to say the dreaded words is a schoolboy error. It can never have a happy ending. If a woman loves you, they're not usually shy in letting you know, so all you've done is heap a ****load of pressure onto her. You need to move into damage limitation mode, or she could run for the hills. Tell her you were drunk/temporarily insane, or just got caught up in the moment. Whatever you do, don't start acting all butt-hurt, like you have come across in your post. I would tell her that you meant you love being with her, or something like that.
ChessPieceFace Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 She's interested in someone else, and staying with you (for now) for security.
bubbaganoosh Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I'm dying to find out what they talked about later. I got a feeling that your her friend with benefits and she's your girlfriend.
mortensorchid Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I'm sorry guy, she does not love you. If you say it first (if at all) then she will not respond in a positive way. Get ready for it to go down, because it will. If I were you I would back off for a while and wait for her to contact you again.
Jane2011 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) Well, I had a spell of indifference to my boyfriend, but it didn't last. Around February of this year, which was when my relationship with my boyfriend was about the same age as your relationship with your girlfriend -- that is, five/six months -- he thought I was being distant, he thought I wasn't kissing him with as much passion, he thought I wasn't into him, etc. I am very into him and love him a lot. I'm not sure what the deal was, really, but whatever it was, it wasn't severe, maybe not as severe as what you're describing with your girlfriend. But he did start complaining that he couldn't tell where I was, emotionally. He also said "I love you" to me first when we first started dating. It was no big deal. But we say it to each other all the time (and have for a long time), and nobody says it more than the other. Edited November 26, 2013 by Jane2011
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