Romantic Attraction?

[ktc]

I met a guy who was very romantic with me. It showed in the things he did and how affectionate he was. I've dated enough to be able to tell that people really don't do that straight off in the beginning.

 

We both are very similar especially in our upbringings. I won't lie, he is my ideal type so I easily was attracted to him. We hung out a lot, I could sense attraction on both our ends. We did get intimate at some point and he stated how much he liked me and how he could tell he was feeling deeper feelings for me. All during that time he was super affectionate.

 

Then we had a serious talk that apparently freaked him out. I'm not exactly sure because I'm still friends with him now and it doesn't even bother him. Point is, during that time he ended up saying maybe we shouldn't do this anymore. How he wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship and goes on about how he has been feeling down and wants to focus on friends and school. I mean give or take, I didn't want to rush into a relationship and I made that clear but I thought it was absurd for him to stop wanting to "date" me and be affectionate.

 

He ends up saying he just doesn't want to deepen his feelings with anyone or date anyone. He said he did want to remain friends and we have in fact still hung out. He just said he did not want to be intimate or otherwise remaining friends would be hard. I mean, I totally respect that because I don't want him to use me but I'm like, "What happened?" "Did I do something?"

 

I got to ask him what was up and he said he was going through problems and it wasn't me. A lot of what he said sounded like bull**** honestly because I felt he betrayed my trust. It all sounded rather cliche but sadly I suppose it was the truth.

 

I mean I asked if maybe he was still hung up on the girl before me or if he was interested in someone else. (I know... you guys are going to be like he wouldn't fess up to it)!

 

Finally he did tell me that he thinks we have a connection, that he thinks I am awesome and that there is a sexual chemistry there but he just can't see me romantically. I was thinking, "Isn't that something that is gradually built though through time and trust?" I felt he didn't even give me a chance to build that. I guess I'm trying to say what is confusing is that doesn't that mean it could change? It really was going great and then it seemed like he freaked out and decided no. He did say he was thinking of dating me. He did say his feelings were deepening. I just have no idea if this guy just doesn't know what he wants or maybe it is as plan and simple as maybe he just really isn't that into me.

 

I felt like I really could date this guy though so it's tough to just drop it. I mean, I tried reasoning with him that we shouldn't just "stop" but I mean I'm not going to push it anymore. Dude hasn't been in a relationship in almost 4 years and the last girl he thought he would be in a relationship with was about 2 months ago.

Edited November 25, 2013 by ktc
adding to it

[Philosoraptor]

Geez, so he showed himself as Mr. Romantic and went hardcore at the start then faded off after sex when things became a little serious? Guys never do that at all.

 

Look, he did what it took to get in your knickers. He moved fast, got what he wanted, then faded away... but not without leaving you with questions and just a spark of hope just in case he wants to come back again.

[ktc]

dang thanks. ya in any case, i know everyone ends up coming back around at least once. I'm sitting this one out.