AlphaC Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Two months ago my gf told me she was confused and needed space. I didn't beg or cry (in front of her). We were together over a year, she is 40 years old and I'm 45. She was going through a tough time in her life and I tried being there for her but she just pushed me away. I am still hurting and want to move on but I am not sure if I should ask her if she is 100% sure she doesn't want a relationship with me. I have been reading a lot on these boards and I just wanted to give and get some input from others, thank you.
organizedchaos Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Two months ago my gf told me she was confused and needed space. I didn't beg or cry (in front of her). We were together over a year, she is 40 years old and I'm 45. She was going through a tough time in her life and I tried being there for her but she just pushed me away. I am still hurting and want to move on but I am not sure if I should ask her if she is 100% sure she doesn't want a relationship with me. I have been reading a lot on these boards and I just wanted to give and get some input from others, thank you. Tell her you you want to talk, that you can't be in limbo. 2 months is a long time to need space. 4
Author AlphaC Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Tell her you you want to talk, that you can't be in limbo. 2 months is a long time to need space. Thanks, I feel like it's over, I contacted her twice and both times her responses were really short, they had no feelings to them. Everyone I asked told me that when a woman is confused she has found another man. Part of me wants to contact her and another part wants to see if she will miss me and reconsider. Not sure what is the best approach.
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Yeah, i kinda agree with Organized. You've waited 2 months and given her space? I think there can be no harm whatsoever in you asking her what she wants? You obviously cant be stuck in limbo for the next 6 months. Time to have a heart to heart with her and find out where she is at. Its not fair for you to be doing all this waiting around with nothing but silence on her part. She needs to either tell you its over, or give you some indication that there is something to continue waiting for. 1
Balzac Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Move on. She's given you no reason to "wait" and if at her age this is how she manages stress - red flag for anything long term. Sorry Sir. 3
PharaohABQ Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Yeah that's the thing about space. Space and time heals all wounds. You've had two months, that's plenty of time to figure what she wants and since she hasn't come back to you, then you're not what she wants. You're 45, you know how the game works. You just need to get off your butt and stop being lazy. Lazy as in not putting the effort out to find someone new. Its over, move on. Count her as a friend and see what happens. You're grown up, at 45 you don't need anybody's permission to start dating. She certainly isn't going to wait for yours. You need to do what will make you happy. Yes it's selfish, but you don't get that many chances and you're not getting any younger. So go! Go be happy with being alone and being yourself. Find woman friends to do stuff with, to test the waters and test your compatibility. But importantly have fun doing it. Don't worry about what your Ex will think. Heck she might hear you're dating and come crawling back. You do what makes YOU happy. These are YOUR CHOICES to make, nobody elses. Not even ours here on the internet. So go your own waayyyy.... 1
Author AlphaC Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Move on. She's given you no reason to "wait" and if at her age this is how she manages stress - red flag for anything long term. Sorry Sir. you are right!
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