My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years dumped me..so sad i don't know how i'm going to live

[HangingOnToHope]

I started going out with my ex in 8th grade when i was only 14 and he was 15.

2 1/2 years later he ended it. Which was a month ago. He ended it because i could be very whiney or naggy sometimes during my periods, which led to stupid argruments. We always made up right away though. He said he just couldn't deal with it anymore. And no, there was no other girl involved.

Other than that, our relationship was amazing. We were like best friends. We were always laughing and just having a good time no matter what we did. We were so close that we even farted around each other!!(sorry). He always used to say how different i am than any other girl he's ever known/dated...but in a good way. Every weekend we would have sleepovers, go out to parties, dinner, bowling, the movies, or we would just cuddle and watch movies and eat pizza on rainy days. He is a big football player so he's been extra close to his football team mates lately. I'm wondering if maybe their the reason why he ended it. Because their all single and stupid and i think my ex became one of them. Ugh. All's they do is get drunk and throw parties. His friends don't give a **** about him at the end of the day. Unlike me who has been there for him through thick and thin. That's what he doesn't get.

 

However, i do admit that i could be naggy and annoying at certain times of the month and i feel bad . I just want another chance so bad it hurts. I told him that i would try really hard and work on trying to control my mood swings when they happened. He said he believes me but he doesn't want to date me yet. He says that we can hangout soon and that "maybe we can try again soon" and that "maybe he'll consider giving us another try and that he'll think about it."

So, that's where we left off 6 days ago via text. But i haven't heard from him since. I've been feeling so anxious, so depressed, so worried, so sick, and just such grief.

I miss him so much that it hurts. And i feel so much guilt how i would be naggy and bitchy sometimes. Just wish i could make it up to him and prove that i can change how i act during the certain time of the month.

Has anyone ever experienced a break up like this? If so, please tell me about yours and how you were feeling also!

[Haydn]

You are so so young. Whole future ahead of you. Experience life and try to have as much fun as you can while young! I did! You dont need to change, he has to accept you how you are. Ignore him and move on. I know you dont want to hear this but its real. Enjoy being young. Take care.

[fixing]

Hey, you came to the right place! It sounds like you had an incredible two years together. And, you say your were a little naggy sometimes? Pfff, what woman isnt? Its normal, and dont go blaming yourself.

I cant give you any magical advice on how to get back together, but i can tell you what you need to be doing now...

First thing is, you have already let him know you want him back, he doesnt want that, at least atm.

But if you continue to text and call him, that will only drive him further away from you.

Instead what you should do, is cut off all contact with him. No more messages. Delete him off facebook, and accept its all out of your hands.

Nothing you can do now, except, save face and your dignity.

Start going out with your friends, and try to have fun and stay positive. Completely cut him out of your life.

You will immediately appear stronger than he ever imagined, and he might (Maybe, possibly) start regretting his decisions.

But, be strong, and realise, NO WORDS, OR ACTIONS OF YOURS WILL HAVE AN IMPACT ON HIS DECISION.

[HangingOnToHope]

Tv shows, movies, holidays, music, stores, the seasons, and restraunts remind me of him and bring back memories. So basically everything brings back memories and makes me think of him :/ I know this sounds cliche but he was just different! He's the funniest person i've ever met and that's why we got along so well. We both had the same sense of humor and we were just so much alike. I know i'm young, i know...but i've never met anybody that i connected to so much and felt so close to him. Which is why i feel torn in apart:(

We had many mile stones together. We lost our virginity, we celebrated sweet 16's, we both got our licenses, etc. I was just a little teenager when i met him, 14!! And now i'm 17.

[Balzac]

Time to date college guys.

[Volthi10]

Sweetie you are so young but I totally understand that feeling you have. I myself am going through exactly the same situation. I am older than you, but I understand the pain is the same. You will be ok.It's not necessarily what we want to hear but we will be. My boyfriend broke up with me and said he was done with my attitudes, and the way I go off on him for little things. At first he said just what yours said, we'll hang out, talk, maybe see if it works, but now he is done. And its taking me all my begging and my misery to finally accept that he is done with me, regardless off the reasons, I have to let him go. Work on you. Stay strong! Value yourself and know that you are better than to be waiting on a man who does not want you.

[pteromom]

Know that his REAL reason for wanting to break loose likely has little to do with you. It's not your fault. He's 18, and he doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship. He wants to be able to go out and party with his football friends.

 

It's possible he will come back after a taste of being alone. And it's possible he won't.

 

But you need to focus on moving forward either way.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I started going out with my ex in 8th grade when i was only 14 and he was 15.

2 1/2 years later he ended it. Which was a month ago. He ended it because i could be very whiney or naggy sometimes during my periods, which led to stupid argruments. We always made up right away though. He said he just couldn't deal with it anymore. And no, there was no other girl involved.

Other than that, our relationship was amazing. We were like best friends. We were always laughing and just having a good time no matter what we did. We were so close that we even farted around each other!!(sorry). He always used to say how different i am than any other girl he's ever known/dated...but in a good way. Every weekend we would have sleepovers, go out to parties, dinner, bowling, the movies, or we would just cuddle and watch movies and eat pizza on rainy days. He is a big football player so he's been extra close to his football team mates lately. I'm wondering if maybe their the reason why he ended it. Because their all single and stupid and i think my ex became one of them. Ugh. All's they do is get drunk and throw parties. His friends don't give a **** about him at the end of the day. Unlike me who has been there for him through thick and thin. That's what he doesn't get.

 

However, i do admit that i could be naggy and annoying at certain times of the month and i feel bad . I just want another chance so bad it hurts. I told him that i would try really hard and work on trying to control my mood swings when they happened. He said he believes me but he doesn't want to date me yet. He says that we can hangout soon and that "maybe we can try again soon" and that "maybe he'll consider giving us another try and that he'll think about it."

So, that's where we left off 6 days ago via text. But i haven't heard from him since. I've been feeling so anxious, so depressed, so worried, so sick, and just such grief.

I miss him so much that it hurts. And i feel so much guilt how i would be naggy and bitchy sometimes. Just wish i could make it up to him and prove that i can change how i act during the certain time of the month.

Has anyone ever experienced a break up like this? If so, please tell me about yours and how you were feeling also!

 

 

 

I wish we could move you 12 years into your future, for about 24 hours, so you could gain so much perspective that would be priceless if you had it now.

 

To begin, I hope you can stop letting yourself believe that your monthly period and all it entails makes anything wrong with you. Your period is far more of a 'given' than any guy will ever be - and that's fine.

 

Next, I am sure this hurts like hell... and that you've experienced the wonders of having bene so personally invested in this one other person, for so long, and at such a young age... and now it's gone.

 

You need to understand, eventually, that it is the investing you do on your own, in such cases, and not as much the individual you're with, that gives you the greatest feelings (which so often feel like 'love').

 

So if your own inner programming is such that you trust easily, and you have little trouble opening up to others, while at the same time you're a pretty good judge of who is honest and trustworthy... then you can and will know these exact wonderful feelings for most of the rest of your life.

 

I just don't know the best way to communicate the different sense of the people all around us you will have, when you're older and have a lot more socializing under your belt. Right now it seems that this one guy is your world... and that's because he has been your world for so much of your life since your coming of age.

 

The truth is, that you will learn so much more about yourself during the next 15 years that you will make much better romantic choices later on. And if you thought you had a whole lot with this guy, you should know that you've not likely even scratched the surface of how good your future loves will feel. (and it's merely because you will *know yourself* much better with time)

 

I can't expect this to help you too much right now... but just don't give up, and maybe find a way to express and feel some wide-eyed optimism about your romantic future.

[Stay]

Pretty normal of a breakup, what I can say is you're very young.. Don't expect too much from relationships.

[Omei]

I read your posts and I have felt like that before, suicidal but I hold on tight my best friend will come and sleep over even in my room we will make a night of it and vise versa I hope you have a friend you can turn too and is willing to stay with you till you feel "okay"

[HangingOnToHope]

In the beginning of the summer, my prescription medication for anxiety was changed to a different type of pill. I had also been taking birth control for a while (& still am). So, when I went to my doctor the other day i found out that my new anxiety pill that i was taking combined with taking birth control, had a really bad reaction to my hormone levels and the balance and such with them. Which caused me to have rapid mood changes, moodiness, neediness, whining, and just being a bitch sometimes. Before I started with the new anxiety pill before summer, my boyfriend and I have always gotten along so well pretty much most of our relationship. He knew me for the sweet, funny, care-free, and innocent girl. I was still like this in the summer but not nearly as much as i was before because of the reaction i had with my hormone chemicals. That's why my boyfriend ended it. He thought I actually did change as a person and that I turned into a nag of a girlfriend for good. But NO, as i had just found out, it wasn't the real me. It was because the medication combo just had a weird reaction to me and caused me to have uncontrolable emotions.

 

So anyway, i told my ex-boyfriend this all last night. Afterwards, i told him that if i knew that the medication was causing me to be like how i was, i would have gotten off of it right away and we would be fine like how we always used to be before this! I also told him that if he gave it a chance, i would be the same girl that he knew and loved so much! And i also said that maybe we just need some time now to have a fresh start soon. But all's he said was **** like "idk i cant promise anything but yea maybe you're right who knows. Maybe we can talk in a little while and hangout and see what happens from there."

 

I just feel so like sad and disapointed and i feel like he didn't even take any of what i told him into consideration or understanding. Like he knows me better than that! He knows that before i got my medicine changed we had an amazing relationship and that we was in love with me! Ugh....sorry for all the long details. I just have no idea what he is thinking or where this is all going to go....

 

We had many mile stones together. We lost our virginity, we celebrated sweet 16's, we both got our licenses, etc. I was just a little teenager when i met him, 14!! And now were both 17. Before i started taking the new medication, our relationship was amazing. We were like best friends. We were always laughing and just having a good time no matter what we did. We were so close that we even farted around each other!!(sorry). He always used to say how different i am than any other girl he's ever known/dated...but in a good way. Every weekend we would have sleepovers, go out to parties, dinner, bowling, the movies, or we would just cuddle and watch movies and eat pizza on rainy days.

[elbe]

I'm sorry to say that if I was in his shoes I would be very skeptical of any excuses for prior behavior. Even if it is true...

 

17 is a very tough age. After highschool it's college, jobs, the real world. Lots of relationships don't make it past this stage... You are just so young. You should really spend this time thinking about who you want to become as an adult and work on that solely. You will find true love if you follow your passion.

[KatZee]

Listen, I get that you're upset, but at the end of the day you want someone who WILL stick with you even when they know you can be moody and hard to handle. Life is HARD. You're not always going to be happy, and innocent, and carefree.

 

Regardless if it was your medication or not, things got hard, and instead of working on the relationship with you, HE RAN. This is not an indicator of a successful long-term relationship.

 

In the end, I think you'll find out that you're much better off without a person like this, even if it hurts now.

[AnyaNova]

Listen, I get that you're upset, but at the end of the day you want someone who WILL stick with you even when they know you can be moody and hard to handle. Life is HARD. You're not always going to be happy, and innocent, and carefree.

 

Regardless if it was your medication or not, things got hard, and instead of working on the relationship with you, HE RAN. This is not an indicator of a successful long-term relationship.

 

In the end, I think you'll find out that you're much better off without a person like this, even if it hurts now.

 

You know, I was thinking of posting something along these lines, but then I read this beautifully perfect summation.

 

Reposted and seconded!

[Am4Real]

You're way too young to let this “first” lost love be the basis of your well-being.

 

At seventeen years of age you can count on a few more love interests, break ups, dumps, being dumped and other “educational and conditioning” experiences.

 

I'm not diminishing your pain or your experience, but I am telling you our teenage and young adult years are filled with learning experiences. This is one for you and also one for him.