Author greenflower Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 She texted me again... Saying she hasn't been happy since she started really missing me more than two weeks ago. She says can't stand thought of this hate I have built up towards her, and the fact that she will never be the one to make me smile again and make right what she has done wrong... She says she is sorry she couldn't be the woman that I deserve to be with. That she was depressed and not able to see through the fog of her blurred mind... Sounds pretty self-centered to me, seems like she feels bad and guilty and wants to make herself feel better though me... I don't know what to do. History tends to repeat itself... I don't trust her.
cavalier99 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 She texted me again... Saying she hasn't been happy since she started really missing me more than two weeks ago. She says can't stand thought of this hate I have built up towards her, and the fact that she will never be the one to make me smile again and make right what she has done wrong... She says she is sorry she couldn't be the woman that I deserve to be with. That she was depressed and not able to see through the fog of her blurred mind... Sounds pretty self-centered to me, seems like she feels bad and guilty and wants to make herself feel better though me... I don't know what to do. History tends to repeat itself... I don't trust her. Time to block her. This is the perfect moment!! I wouldnt trust her either. All of this is self centered BS. You have gained back some self respect. NOW TAKE YOU WINNINGS AND RUN!! Cav
Author greenflower Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I should probably do that, so that I don't fall into the bull**** once more... People don't change in a month or two... Still selfish to the end I guess.
cavalier99 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I should probably do that, so that I don't fall into the bull**** once more... People don't change in a month or two... Still selfish to the end I guess. I bet you are getting a contact high from all this. She is being selfish but is is also an ego boost for you. She is thinking of you and it is appealing. Dont get used to her doing this. You are better off blocking. This stuff will prevent you from healing. I bet you are eagerly wating to see if she sends another text? Id be also ..so Im not being critical, i just know the dangers of this. Block her. Or is the thought of this too hard right now?? Test of where you are really at. Cav
Author greenflower Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 It is appealing. I think I know better now though. I can't forget all the things she did to me(and all she didn't). I'm sure it would happen again ! I wrote her back, but it's pretty harsh and objective. No matter what she answers I won't jump back in it. What I'm considering now is, either telling her never to contact me again and blocking her, or sleeping(really making love with passion) with her and then telling her that's it. Not because I want to be an ******* but because it would exorcise all the love I have left for her, transfer it out. Haven't decided though, I guess I'll see...
Chi townD Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 How about this....how about NO CONTACT!!! Start healing and moving on dude! 1
Author greenflower Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Her messages said she didn't know what she wanted... bla bla. I answered her messages in a very straight and objective way. It was so tempting to suggest having sex... soooooo tempting... But in the end I told it was time for us to cut contact in any way. That there is no place in my heart nor in my life for someone who doesn't love me and want me. Ended on that.
Author greenflower Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) Something really bad happened, I'm so broken and back to square one... I was doing better, and it was really hard when she came to my house, and started writing to me on facebook (she had created a profile just to talk to me...). Sunday I had to move to a new place, and in order to thank one of my friend I invited to the restaurant. So we go there, super hungry and enjoying each other's company, when all of a sudden I see my ex walking in with her new guy. She sees us and leave. I was so shaken up, I instantly lost my appetite, started shaking, feeling sick... 10min later, she comes back in with her guy, carrying my favorite wine bottle in her hand (that she just went to buy), making it very visible, kind of like "hey look I'm gonna eat sushi, drink your favorite wine and **** at home with another guy." She looks at me at the back, and kisses her guy and then leaves while looking at me without any emotions whatsoever. So they went to her place with take away, she looked so nice, dressed up and hot. She colored her head blond, the same as when I met her 9 months ago; 7 months ago she told me she didn't want to be blond anymore because it brought too much attention from guys... I'm so ****ed up now, this has gotten me down so much. I can't stop thinking about it. It's disgusting me. Why did she come to my house and said all those things if she's already seeing someone else ?... Can't believe she is already having dates with a guy at her place so soon... Why did she have to act like that to purposely hurt me, when I'm already the one hurting so bad ? Why did I have to see that ? Why did she do that.... pffffff. Even my friend who always say to forgive couldn't believe his eyes... I've done no contact but why did this have to happen to me ? .... Help Edited December 3, 2013 by greenflower
fixing Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Thats horrible. Women do these things deliberately. They can be very wicked and cruel. This new guy is just a rebound anways. Means she's one of those weak people that cope deal with being alone after a BU. Go back to no contact and block this new stupid FB account she created. Your done with her.
Author greenflower Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) Can't believe I'm crying and hurting so much over this... :'( After I gave her so much good... I can't bear anymore of this. I can't get out of my bed Edited December 3, 2013 by greenflower
TanTry Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Im so sorry you had to see this but this may be what you need to move on Do you want to be with a woman who could do this to you? Kissing another guy infrint of you etc? She has moved on it seems, she is weak and needs company to get her through You have to heal the right way, FOCUS ON YOU. There is noone here to drag you out of bed but yourself Do something now your future self will thank you for I am going out tonight 4 days after the breakup and it hurts so much. Part of me wants to dress up and post pics to make him see what he has lost but theres no point. I will go out for ME not him. Again, I am sorry but you can and will get through this feeling.
Author greenflower Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 I have no energy, only sadness and pain. I wish she never came to my house, and that I never saw her at the restaurant... I don't deserve this, I don't understand why all of this is happening to me ;(
Author greenflower Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 I have exams in 10 days, I can't even get my head straight nor get out of bed. Can't believe this relationship turned me from a strong and happy guy to a depressed one. She destroyed me.
Author greenflower Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) How can you do something like that to someone who has been there and supported you through thick and thin ? Someone who helped you, gave you advice, accepted you as a whole even the flaws. I don't even understand why she broke up with me, she wasn't even willing to work on us. Why did she write a whole page about what she missed about me when she came to my house last week, that she had been thinking about me everyday, that she had written hundreds of messages she never sent, that she wanted to hold me like she used to, that she missed her baby... Why did she say "that she was depressed and not able to see through the fog of her blurred mind..." and that ""I understand... You don't want me anymore...". Why, why, why ? What if somehow she was being sincere ? I'm in such pain, I don't understand. I can't stop crying, it hurts so much. I've never been so hurt by anyone before. I want to hold her, I miss her... Edited December 4, 2013 by greenflower
fixing Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 C'mon mate, snap out of it! Your stronger than this. You got burned. Its harsh i know. But, seriously, cant you go out with a few mates and unwind? Or watch a good movie? You got very unlucky, as did i. Its not our fault who we fall in love with. But, tuff ****, we gotta accept it, suck it up and soldier on!
Logan oO Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 How can you do something like that to someone who has been there and supported you through thick and thin ? Someone who helped you, gave you advice, accepted you as a whole even the flaws. I don't even understand why she broke up with me, she wasn't even willing to work on us. Why did she write a whole page about what she missed about me when she came to my house last week, that she had been thinking about me everyday, that she had written hundreds of messages she never sent, that she wanted to hold me like she used to, that she missed her baby... Why did she say "that she was depressed and not able to see through the fog of her blurred mind..." and that ""I understand... You don't want me anymore...". Why, why, why ? What if somehow she was being sincere ? I'm in such pain, I don't understand. I can't stop crying, it hurts so much. I've never been so hurt by anyone before. I want to hold her, I miss her... You are asking the question, you already know the answer to. *She is a Crazy Bitch* So influenced by her own inner darkness and hatred at the world that she will never be able to truly give 100% to any man until she learns to accept what is wrong with her and learn to love herself. Oh and NO! that is not something you CAN do, or SHOULD do. Let it go. What she did is unforgivable in my eyes. Fair enough we are broken up, but after coming to my place with your letters of bull**** feelings, you rub a new guy in my face. I've met a lot of good hearted women in my time, hell my first ex was the perfect girlfriend, never did anything wrong. But i was to inexperienced and naive to understand 'space' and being apart from eachother. I've met both good and bad women in my life, but my most recent ex is a psycho bitch like yours. You COULD hate her if you want to, but that requires time and devotion dude. I'm in kind of a numb phase at the moment, where i don't feel anything but a sort of neutral outlook on life. Don't try to get some explanation from what she did, just accept that she is one screwed up depressive bitch, who on the outside might be pretty, but underneath she is one UGLY whore bitch! 'Pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside'
Author greenflower Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 I have to find a way to look at it in a different manner.
Author greenflower Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) She did in fact tell me she had mental disorders a couple of months ago. That she had bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Her grandmother also had it. That she had 3 personalities. She told me she was really ****ed up and that when I would discover who she really was I would leave her. The happy one, which was who she wanted to be, who loved me and wanted to be with me. The depressed one, who felt worthless, hated by the whole world, despised, alone and despaired. The party/bitch one, who wanted to be free, flirt with guys, drink, have fun and do crazy things. She also told me she had a lot of anger inside towards other people, couldn't accept people and things how they were, when it couldn't be on her own terms, how she wanted it. She told me she wanted to get treated because it was affecting her studies (she hasn't been able to go to class for a year), her work (been fired from 3 jobs in a year) and her relationship with me. During one of our previous breakups, she told me she wanted someone that did and said what she wanted. One of the first nights we slept together, she started screaming all of the sudden around 2 am, that should have been red flag number one. Another day she called crying and asked me to come, she was lying in her bed crying, saying she was not alone in her body, that there was a green monster moving freely back and forth between her stomach and her head. She asked many times me if it was real, to tell her it wasn't. She was dead serious and wanted me to call psychiatric emergencies. That kind of stuff happened twice. Other times she just had panic attacks. Knowing all of this, I still stayed, never criticized her, supported and loved her for WHO SHE WAS. This is what I get in the end, for being true, accepting, sweet, helping, honest, patient, faithful, attentive, loving, caring, communicative, the list goes on. Edited December 5, 2013 by greenflower
Author greenflower Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) I miss her so much, it's so ****ed up... If anyone should have left, it should have been me... Can't stop thinking she's getting ****ed by that other guy... pfff Tell me this is the right thing for me, that it's for the best. I really thing I've been an amazing boyfriend. :'( Edited December 5, 2013 by greenflower
Yasuo Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 You my friend, won the lottery. Kidding aside, I feel sorry for you. Good luck.
Author greenflower Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 (edited) Ok, I made a mistake, I quickly checked her fb profile, which I shouldn't have. She uploaded a picture saying : “If you love someone, you must be prepared to set them free.” Makes me sad... It's such bull****, if you love someone, you don't let them go. This sounds like such a selfish and guilt relieving statement considering the situation. In the letters she gave me she said she realized she wasn't the right woman for me, and she wanted me to be happy. What the **** does that even mean ? Cause to me it seems like she wasn't happy with me. Another thing for her to relieve her guilt I guess.... Pffff I can't believe I started to move on two weeks ago, and since she came to my house, gave me letters and after I saw her with another guy, I'm ****ing back at square one... Why couldn't she leave me alone... pffffffff Edited December 6, 2013 by greenflower
Author greenflower Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 I'm back... I've been hurting hard for a while now... I was starting to feel better today thanks to great support from friend and family. Anyway... I just received a facebook message of my ex. Her profile being blocked she created an alternative one, the profile picture being her hlding me in her arms. She just sent some messages, but I haven't read them. I can see the start of one of them "I know I have various flaws and I...". I don't know what to do. Should I read it, or blocked that profile ? I should block, shouldn't I ? :'(
Zahara Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 So we go there, super hungry and enjoying each other's company, when all of a sudden I see my ex walking in with her new guy. She sees us and leave. I was so shaken up, I instantly lost my appetite, started shaking, feeling sick... 10min later, she comes back in with her guy, carrying my favorite wine bottle in her hand (that she just went to buy), making it very visible, kind of like "hey look I'm gonna eat sushi, drink your favorite wine and **** at home with another guy." She looks at me at the back, and kisses her guy and then leaves while looking at me without any emotions whatsoever. So they went to her place with take away, she looked so nice, dressed up and hot. Do you remember this? Read the above. You're asking if you should read her emails, block her profile?
Author greenflower Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Well I read it : "I know that I have various flaws in my personality, as do you... We are so different from one an other. I do realize that your way of living life is good in a lot of ways, and I think that some times you realized that my way was good too... I liked doing stuff with you, I liked going to the beach, I liked cooking with you, I liked taking walks with you, and I wish we had done that more. I don't think we did, partly because I didn't pick you from the beginning... You came and asked me out and I just couldn't get that out of my head. It felt like you always wanted me more than I wanted you, I needed the chance to figure out what you ment to me... But always came over when we had fights and you always fixed things when we were broken. Now I figured it out and I am trying to make it up to you. I ****ed it up for us, and for that I am truely sorry. I really want to talk to you, just to look into your eyes again would be wonderful. But I guess it's too late... I came to show you that I wanted to make things right. I am sorry if it made you upset. I hope you are getting the attention you deserve, you are such a good looking guy, I never doubted that. If you do find someone new, I hope that she treats you better than I did... Well, I am done being the monkey. I have not found anyone new, because I am still thinking about you. I am feeling lonely because I miss you. That's a good idea, I didn't want you to feel like you were giving more than you were receiving.... Things should be in balance. I would love to see you and just go with what ever happens, let me know if you want me to come over. Do what ever feels good for you. I wanted to love you more than you could imagine, if I could have called up and asked my heartphone to truely love someone it would have been you. I just kept on faling in and out of love with you when we had really bad fights... You could get what you want back, I am just not sure this is what you want anymore... Maybe your fairytale ends with a princess, not the wicked witch... I threw a lovepotion on you and cast a spell on myself to look pretty for you... Inside I was stille the wicked wicked witch... I am trying to change, every day I try to improve my self... some day I might succede... Tell me, how was your day? How are you doing with everything? I like the picture you put on your profile by the way you're looking really hot. By the way I am really sorry I texted you the other night... I lost my head for a second..." ... Well...
Author greenflower Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 This is so ****ing confusing...
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