JOYTOME Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Hi all, Thanks in advance for reading this. It's pretty simple; I met someone a few days ago and we've been chatting via SMS (he tried calling me a few times but I've been really busy so we haven't been able to talk on the phone). Anyway, to sum it up, he is in his 30's, he is doing very well for himself BUT his written communication skills aren't the best and it's such a turn-off for me. See below for examples: 1) Spells "How'' as ''Ow'' for example "OW'S YOUR DAY GOING?" 2) Uses ''ÁM'' in place of ''I'm'' of example "AM FINE" 3) Spelt FORTNIGHT as FORTRIGHT for example "I FEATURE EVERY FORTHRIGHT" 4) Sent a message saying "It would be nice to meet for a drink one of THIS days"instead of THESE days 5) Spelt ‘’pictures’’ as ‘’px’’ 6) Spelt IT’S as IS –for example " IS GOOD FOR YOU TO GO THERE” instead OF IT’S GOOD FOR YOU TO GO THERE I’m trying not to be fickle or petty and I feel really bad for posting this here but it is such a huge turn-off and I have pretty much eliminated him as a potential partner for this reason, but I’m happy to have him as friend. Would you do the same? I mean he is 30+ what’s the excuse for these grammatical errors? I’m not asking for a Harvard professor, just someone who can construct correct sentences. 1
MidwestUSA Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 People screw up and abbreviate all the time via text/SMS. How does he speak? Never mind, saw that you haven't spoke. It would be pretty shallow to write him off before you have. Make that phone call happen. 1
AllForNothing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It's always been a turn-off for me too. I know how you feel. However, I recently started dating someone with dyslexic dysgraphia. I find that I can give her a pass because it's an actual condition. You never know, maybe your guy friend might have something similar. Or maybe it's just that he's always typing on a phone/tablet and doesn't bother to whip AutoCorrect into shape when he should. A lot of people just do Internet on their phones nowadays. But again, I feel your pain.
Leigh 87 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I MUCH prefer men who get their/ there/ they're correct, and also too/to and then/ than. I will still meet them even if their grammar is atrocious is they otherwise have a steady job or their studying full time at a college level. I am way more turned on if they get too and to right.... the second they get that correct, I'm like yes!!!! Score. HUGE turn on when they get basic Grammer correct.
Arabella Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I MUCH prefer men who get their/ there/ they're correct, and also too/to and then/ than. I will still meet them even if their grammar is atrocious is they otherwise have a steady job or their studying full time at a college level. I am way more turned on if they get too and to right.... the second they get that correct, I'm like yes!!!! Score. HUGE turn on when they get basic Grammer correct. I couldn't help but point out the irony in this, just for the sheer amusement value... No offense to you, Leigh! 5
Arabella Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I'll say this... I once met a guy on the internet who typed atrociously, and when we spoke on the phone, he turned out to be one of the most eloquent and well-spoken people I've ever met. It was weird... until I realized that he was actually "dumbing down" his English to "fit in" with his peers (he was 21). But yeah, in general, this is a huge issue to me. English is my third language, and I can't be with someone whose English is their first language and it is worse than mine !
Author JOYTOME Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 haha, thanks a lot for your responses! He's going to call me tonight so we'll see how it goes. I guess it doesn't help that I'm not really physically attracted to him. I'll try to be open-minded though.
MidwestUSA Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 haha, thanks a lot for your responses! He's going to call me tonight so we'll see how it goes. I guess it doesn't help that I'm not really physically attracted to him. I'll try to be open-minded though. He's probably got this deep, sexy voice. I'm thinkin' Sam Elliot, LOL! Good luck!
FitChick Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 If someone spoke as badly, yes, it would turn me off. However, some people aren't good typists.
ThomasD Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 If someone spoke as badly, yes, it would turn me off. However, some people aren't good typists. Yeah, I can make allowances for slip-ups but I'm generally attracted to especially intelligent people, and writing that's riddled with errors is a clue that this may not be a good match.
ThomasD Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 ... I once met a guy on the internet who typed atrociously, and when we spoke on the phone, he turned out to be one of the most eloquent and well-spoken people I've ever met. It was weird... until I realized that he was actually "dumbing down" his English to "fit in" with his peers (he was 21). . . . That's not uncommon for shy and introverted people. It's probably a major disaster (especially for the shy introvert) when it's successful.
crederer Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 (edited) I think there was a thread like this recently. Either that or my comment was deleted. I have no problem with spelling mistakes here and there, but text speak (i.e wat r u up2 2night?) really grinds my gears. General grammar that is really weak, as per the examples you gave (assuming they are constant) would also irk me. But the occasional error is fine. Even if you look at a lot of the thread topics posted, the vast majority seem to be written by a person that speaks English as a second language. Edited November 25, 2013 by crederer
MalachiX Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It is a huge turn off as a person's ability to text on a cell phone is clearly a strong indicator of what kind of life partner they might make.
JonesyDash123 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I can see how that would be a turn off, it's quite a pet peeve of mine too.
jba10582 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I enjoy unique linguistic dialects much more than grammatical correctness.
Eivuwan Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I think we should keep in mind that some people are much better speakers than they are writers. Also, some people have English as their second language.
HokeyReligions Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 It's always been a turn-off for me too. I know how you feel. However, I recently started dating someone with dyslexic dysgraphia. I find that I can give her a pass because it's an actual condition. You never know, maybe your guy friend might have something similar. Or maybe it's just that he's always typing on a phone/tablet and doesn't bother to whip AutoCorrect into shape when he should. A lot of people just do Internet on their phones nowadays. But again, I feel your pain. Exactly. I was going to say he sounds like my posts. I'm on the phone and don't always bother with proofreading. When I'm writing for business or publication I use two different grammatical styles and proof like crazy. Give him the beneifit of the doubt. My hubby reads and writes at a grade school level but has a wonderful vocabulary and graduated uni with a 4.0 GPA. He is dyslexic and has progressive neurological brain damage. 1
jba10582 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I just have to add... A guy I worked with used to pronounce orange "Oranch" And he would also say: be more "Pacific" (specific)
Blade96 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) I am not a grammar nazi, and I totally don't mind if a person likes textspeak (Internet language) that is acceptable to me. but if a person writes not in textspeak, or with some typos, but instead as if they just got pushed through grade school like a no child left behind GW Bush program even though they suck at writing and grammar, and if english is supposed to be their first language, , then yes, I do not like! I know this guy, the boyfriend of my cousin's ex wife, and the way he writes is atrocious! Ya wonder how the holy flying flock he ever graduated from school. Safe to say, I write better in my second language, Russian, than he does in English. And he doesn't even have the excuse of it being his second language. Yeeesh. Forgot to say I wince when I see one of his posts on FB. Do. Not. Like. Do. Not. Like! Edited November 26, 2013 by Blade96
Leigh 87 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I couldn't help but point out the irony in this, just for the sheer amusement value... No offense to you, Leigh! I don't claim to be the best at grammer, myself:lmao: But come on, I can at least get the too/to and they/they're/their correct.. Can you understand that, even though I am NOT the most adept at spelling and grammer, that it DOES still turn me off when a guy says " there bag went missing"? It is a HUGE turn off when a guy says " me to" or " there silly" DO I have to be proficient at grammer myself to be offended at the VERY BASIC crap they get wrong?
Esoteric Elf Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 If you're overly pedantic concerning grammar, give it up; it is a lost cause. Thousands of years trying to get vowels in language are nearly erased with txting: the situation is only going to worsen before it improves. Still, I would at least put some limitations on spelling and grammar rules. It can mean the difference between, "Let's eat, Grandma!" and "Let's eat Grandma!" Afterall, "I would rather leave than get sh** on" rather than "I would rather leave then get sh** on."
Dark_history Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I don't claim to be the best at grammer, myself:lmao: But come on, I can at least get the too/to and they/they're/their correct.. Can you understand that, even though I am NOT the most adept at spelling and grammer, that it DOES still turn me off when a guy says " there bag went missing"? It is a HUGE turn off when a guy says " me to" or " there silly" DO I have to be proficient at grammer myself to be offended at the VERY BASIC crap they get wrong? You misspelled grammar again I get what you are saying though, it annoys me to no end too. There has to be a connection to their middle school teaching and their grammar for this, as it would drive me even more crazy way back then than now. I would always think, "they're doing it on purpose, they have to be" because it boogled my mind. "Ain't" would also drive me nuts too. So Leigh, how many points do I score for the above paragraph with all the to/too/there/their/they're I used in there?
Leigh 87 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 You misspelled grammar again I get what you are saying though, it annoys me to no end too. There has to be a connection to their middle school teaching and their grammar for this, as it would drive me even more crazy way back then than now. I would always think, "they're doing it on purpose, they have to be" because it boogled my mind. "Ain't" would also drive me nuts too. Well am I not alloud to be annoyed at an adult guy, who does not know the difference between there and their, or to an too? Getting occasional words wrong doesn't mean I should be limited to men who cannot get any of the basics correct. It turns me off and they have to be more exceptional as people to compensate, in my books. Grammar is one word. Which I normally say as grammar a lot of the time, too, and I don't actually know why I spelt it differently to how I normally spell it this time around! I dropped out of school and learnt grammar purely through reading a lot and the fact I went to all girls private expensive school when I was young and the grammar rules must have stuck. I am at college now, and I do not understand how, for instance, the software engineer I know, he gets "there and their" wrong. Like WTF? So Leigh, how many points do I score for the above paragraph with all the to/too/there/their/they're I used in there? \ Oh, I get much more turned on when a guy gets to and too correct. Look, I just figure; if I dropped out of school and I am only JUST at college NOW in my late 20's getting my first degree after working as a personal trainer for years; if I can get BASIC GRAMMAR correct, why can't others who have been to college? It amazes me what simply reading a lot has done for me... When people who are technically MORE highly educated than me cannot get the basics right? I am actually hesitant to BELIEVE the software engineer I am due to meet soon, since he cannot get there and their correct! I mean, can a software engineer GET there and their wrong?
Dark_history Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 \ Oh, I get much more turned on when a guy gets to and too correct. Look, I just figure; if I dropped out of school and I am only JUST at college NOW in my late 20's getting my first degree after working as a personal trainer for years; if I can get BASIC GRAMMAR correct, why can't others who have been to college? It amazes me what simply reading a lot has done for me... When people who are technically MORE highly educated than me cannot get the basics right? I am actually hesitant to BELIEVE the software engineer I am due to meet soon, since he cannot get there and their correct! I mean, can a software engineer GET there and their wrong? Actually yes, they can a lot of engineers have a very strong math background but lack english skills, or rather, they are out of practice from using them. I took some engineering courses a few years back and we would have to be in groups doing projects and submit a single report for the entire group. OMG, the word structure and grammar I would see was just, I just couldn't believe it. Forget the whole to/too and their/there/they're rules, they couldn't even formulate an entire sentence that made sense when spoken outloud. What was worst, some of them used text speak in the report -.- Needless to say, I "volunteered" to do the reports It wasn't just students though, even some of the professor would get caught up in their spelling mistakes when teaching. Though a lot of them were from a different country, so I would give them the benefit of having to learn English. I would be just like the engineering students if it weren't for my addiction to forums and chats
Leigh 87 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Actually yes, they can a lot of engineers have a very strong math background but lack english skills, or rather, they are out of practice from using them. I took some engineering courses a few years back and we would have to be in groups doing projects and submit a single report for the entire group. OMG, the word structure and grammar I would see was just, I just couldn't believe it. Forget the whole to/too and their/there/they're rules, they couldn't even formulate an entire sentence that made sense when spoken outloud. What was worst, some of them used text speak in the report -.- Needless to say, I "volunteered" to do the reports It wasn't just students though, even some of the professor would get caught up in their spelling mistakes when teaching. Though a lot of them were from a different country, so I would give them the benefit of having to learn English. I would be just like the engineering students if it weren't for my addiction to forums and chats Oh great! So he might not be lying about his profession:lmao: Makes me feel SO much better to have read that:lmao: I am obviously very flawed to when it comes to spelling and grammar! But still, I do not think I am asking too much to expect a guy to be at the same level I am... which may not be particularly HIGH:lmao: however, I CAN get he basics correct. I would be thrilled with a guy who can merely write in the same style and with the same apptitude I can! I get too and to correct and I have a right to demand the same:lmao: THAT SAID I DO date men who cannot construct propper sentences. My ex of 2.5 years couldn't. Almost 3 YEARS of me correcting hear and here (yes he would say " come hear" MOST of the time) all fell on deaf ears. He STILL got it wrong. and WTF. His NEW gf is a model with a genius IQ. He literally cannot construct a propper sentence. NO kidding, he cannot write a full sentence. Oh well, I loved him anyways. I guess he has redeaming attributes:lmao:
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