DrSimple Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 (edited) Hello forum dwellers, today I am here to help you with your online dating situation. I have been around the circuit and taught myself a lot of lessons by doing things wrong, now I have a better understanding on what to do right! The Perspective Why are you using online dating? People have all sorts of answers to this, but the only correct one is "To meet people". Don't go in to online dating with any expectations, and don't build up an attachment to a person's online persona before you meet them. The online dating profile should be viewed as a way to facilitate a meeting, the meeting (first date) is what is designed for you to find chemistry! Make it fun rather then a chore I hear people saying "Oh, I hate writing profiles and slogging through the mountain of other profiles", to this I say you should make it your goal to make it fun. If you can take enjoyment out of it and make it enjoyable for other people, you are more likely to be successful. When you are writing your profile use some creative flair. Instead of writing a bland factual essay about yourself, find a way to make it different and engaging. My current profile reads as a sort-of spoof on dating profile sites as used car dealerships, I satire online dating while pimping myself as a used car salesmen would. I can give less information (less is more) while making it more fun to read and write. Find your own method of creative writing, make it original and your profile won't get a simple glance. First Message Pro-tip: When you message them actually include something they mentioned in their profile. This also means you should read their profile. There are guys that will use a generic mass-message as a numbers game, but these guys are looking to get laid and not looking for a relationship so ignore them. This also means that any message without actual content is likely to get ignored unless you look like a movie star. Like goldy locks, not to short and not to long. Keep the message around 2 small paragraphs (maybe 2-4 sentences each). Include a joke about something in her profile, relate it to something in your life, and close with a question. Closing When should you ask for a date? I find the best time is usually your third message, assuming you messaged first. The first message establishes a mutual interest in each other, the second builds some rapport, and the third should close the deal for a date. This doesn't mean you need a specific date set up from the third message, just that you have proposed a date idea in the third message. Generally I like to ask them out for coffee, but leave the details open as I inquire as to what area of the city they are in. This allows me information to find a suitable venue. You can then follow up with a location, date, and time. First Date Venue KISS gets you a kiss. Go out and grab a cup of coffee, you actually learn the most by talking to someone in a casual environment with very little monetary investment. If things are going really well you can always extend the date by proposing a second location. Save the "fun" dates for #2, where you can create a sense of excitement after you have cemented some initial chemistry. Edited November 25, 2013 by DrSimple
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