Sophie12 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Hi everyone This isn't really a normal break up he broke up with me 2 months ago because he a Muslims and he is having to have an arranged marriage it's all going ahead now and he's getting married in early next year it's been very hard for both of us but we have still been hanging out and chilling ever since we broke up we still go cinema and have nights in together as he says that he ca do whatever he wants until April, then he says he won't be able to talk to me as me because of his wife but has said whenever he gets the chance he will come and see me and we are going to buy each other Christmas presents for one last time and we are going to see each other Xmas day to open them together he is still very affectionate with me, but I'm confused to how we are going to be able to give each other up In a few months time we talk everyday still and see each they a few time a week.
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Sorry to hear that. Tbh with you, i suggest you bite the bullet and cut off all contact now. He's Muslim, and is being pushed into marriage by family presumably. You deserve love and happiness. Dont be his little romantic flick on the side. He does not deserve the best of both worlds. Sounds like you really love him, but his religion and family have gotten in the way of that. (I apoligise for any offence caused to Muslims, but i dont agree with alot of things in Islam) Best you can do is seriously cut off all ties with him and begin to grieve the loss of love. Better now, than later as it will be devastating for you come April. Why prolong the inevitable pain?
xpaperxcutx Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Sorry but saying he is muslim doesn't excuse his behavior for still hanging out with you. He is selfish, it is as simple as that. I know people who are Muslim as well, and their religion dictates that a true and sincere muslim does not hang around with the opposite sex unless that person is someone they're related to or someone they're arranged to be married to. The fact is, your guy is being selfish, like a typical man, he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He already knows he can't be with you for the long haul but he's taking this time to reap what he can from you emotionally and physically. A decent man, a decent Muslim man would not do that. If their goal in life is to worship Allah, then they know that playing with another person's feelings is wrong. The best thing he could've done is to let you go. 2
Author Sophie12 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Sorry to hear that. Tbh with you, i suggest you bite the bullet and cut off all contact now. He's Muslim, and is being pushed into marriage by family presumably. You deserve love and happiness. Dont be his little romantic flick on the side. He does not deserve the best of both worlds. Sounds like you really love him, but his religion and family have gotten in the way of that. (I apoligise for any offence caused to Muslims, but i dont agree with alot of things in Islam) Best you can do is seriously cut off all ties with him and begin to grieve the loss of love. Better now, than later as it will be devastating for you come April. Why prolong the inevitable pain? Thank you for your answer, I do love him so much and he says that he loves me to and I think deep down we both know we are preventing pain for when April comes I know I am going to be completely devastated in April but then I don't want to regret not spending these last few months with him we love spending time together and hanging out, he says that he doesn't to now what's going to happen when April comes all he knows is he's not gonna have much free time but I don't know how I am going to be able to let him go and stupid and selfish as that sounds!
Author Sophie12 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Sorry but saying he is muslim doesn't excuse his behavior for still hanging out with you. He is selfish, it is as simple as that. I know people who are Muslim as well, and their religion dictates that a true and sincere muslim does not hang around with the opposite sex unless that person is someone they're related to or someone they're arranged to be married to. The fact is, your guy is being selfish, like a typical man, he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He already knows he can't be with you for the long haul but he's taking this time to reap what he can from you emotionally and physically. A decent man, a decent Muslim man would not do that. If their goal in life is to worship Allah, then they know that playing with another person's feelings is wrong. The best thing he could've done is to let you go. Thank you for replying, I don't think he sees it as being selfish with me he says that he wants to spend his last few months with me before he gets married because he enjoys hanging out with me and he cares for me and loves me, I don't think when he gets married he will still see me as he's already said he doesn't know what's going to happen and he won't have much free time, do you think what he is doing is wrong? I think he thinks he only has to change the way he is with me from April and the whence will commit to his wife etc
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Darling, of course what he is doing is wrong. Its very selfish. He is, in essence using you for the next 5 months, until he is married. How do you think his predetermined wife will feel if she learnt about your romantic relationship?? He is supposed to be committed to his future wife. You are literally filling in the gaps for now. Why, why, why would you want to pour your heart and soul into a man who is going to cut all contact with you in 5 months to be with another woman? I understand you may be in love with this man, but he is NOT in love with you otherwise he would sling the Koran and his arranged wife out the window and be with you. If you asked your mum her opinion, what do you think she would say or your friends?
Author Sophie12 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Darling, of course what he is doing is wrong. Its very selfish. He is, in essence using you for the next 5 months, until he is married. How do you think his predetermined wife will feel if she learnt about your romantic relationship?? He is supposed to be committed to his future wife. You are literally filling in the gaps for now. Why, why, why would you want to pour your heart and soul into a man who is going to cut all contact with you in 5 months to be with another woman? I understand you may be in love with this man, but he is NOT in love with you otherwise he would sling the Koran and his arranged wife out the window and be with you. If you asked your mum her opinion, what do you think she would say or your friends? My friends and my sister say the exact same you that I shouldn't be talking to I need to cut all contact so I can get ice the heartbreak and then by April I won't feel as bad as I do now about the whole situation, I know it's wrong what I'm doing g because of his future wife I just love him so much and don't want to let him go, he does tell me he loves me all the time and he's so affectionate and loving towards me, he says he's doing it for his parents and that's it I know in probably be sill and naive with the whole situation but I can't help it
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Im 100% not judging you in anyway. We as humans have NO control over who we fall in love with. Him on the other hand, well, he is very selfish, manipulative and using. You are playing a very dangerous game with your heart right now. If you continue this affair with him. You will be utterly devastated when that time comes for him to cut you out of his life. I seriously advise, that you tell him you can no longer see him, and start no contact. In a couple of months of not seeing him you will be greatful for the amount of heartache you save yourself when April comes. You deserve to be loved unconditionally and equally, love, without a time limit.
Qactus Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Hi everyone This isn't really a normal break up he broke up with me 2 months ago because he a Muslims and he is having to have an arranged marriage it's all going ahead now and he's getting married in early next year it's been very hard for both of us but we have still been hanging out and chilling ever since we broke up we still go cinema and have nights in together as he says that he ca do whatever he wants until April, then he says he won't be able to talk to me as me because of his wife but has said whenever he gets the chance he will come and see me and we are going to buy each other Christmas presents for one last time and we are going to see each other Xmas day to open them together he is still very affectionate with me, but I'm confused to how we are going to be able to give each other up In a few months time we talk everyday still and see each they a few time a week. I would strictly say to cut all contact and PLEASE!! dont spend the Xmas with him please dont do it. This will ruin all chances for you. If something isnt meant to be yours then it wont be. I would only blame the guy here. he is being selfish. he is trying to get everything and being a perfect example of two-face people. Please its my request to cut all ties. Please you will feel much better by the time he gets married. just dont think about him.. Just let it go...
Author Sophie12 Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 I would strictly say to cut all contact and PLEASE!! dont spend the Xmas with him please dont do it. This will ruin all chances for you. If something isnt meant to be yours then it wont be. I would only blame the guy here. he is being selfish. he is trying to get everything and being a perfect example of two-face people. Please its my request to cut all ties. Please you will feel much better by the time he gets married. just dont think about him.. Just let it go... I don't know how to cut all ties it's broken my heart and the fact I get to see him till April makes it a little eaiser I love him so much and I know I'm going to be devastated in April but I can't help it. I don't know what to do the thought of spending one last Xmas together sounds so lovely and I don't want to regret not doing it, I'm trying to be his friend at the same time and listening to what he says about his future wife etc but I thought of him getting married breqks my heart, and I'm so worried I won't find anyone else I don't even talk to or look at other men I can't even imagine being imtimate with someone else it feels weird, he still does such cute things like messages me good morning messages etc he's so loving and affectionate toward me
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