sun1972 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Just curious to those in LDR Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? If so, how are you dealing with that worry? Im just trying to get a feel for how other people manage this Cheers
soccerrprp Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? I'm going to move to her. I have a great job, amazing support and friends, but sometimes a sacrifice has to be made. That and she would never come back here. She hates it in the city where we met and I don't like it much either. No family here, so move will actually bring us closer to my family. Truth be told, moving from where I am now has been in the plans anyway whether I moved for a SO or not. How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? My plans are to sell the house, find a job and move out here within the year of the LDR. We have talked about the move and that my move is contingent upon our relationship moving to the next level. Not to continue dating and moving in together is a must. Also, I plan to propose before going out there. Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? Stranded? No. Moving would not be too difficult. Like I said earlier, I will actually be closer to my family, so if things don't work out (but they will ), I will simply move closer to my awesome family a few hours away. If so, how are you dealing with that worry? As slightly as cynical as it may sound, I have made plans in the event that things don't work out (but they will ). 1
Author sun1972 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I'm going to move to her. I have a great job, amazing support and friends, but sometimes a sacrifice has to be made. That and she would never come back here. She hates it in the city where we met and I don't like it much either. No family here, so move will actually bring us closer to my family. Truth be told, moving from where I am now has been in the plans anyway whether I moved for a SO or not. My plans are to sell the house, find a job and move out here within the year of the LDR. We have talked about the move and that my move is contingent upon our relationship moving to the next level. Not to continue dating and moving in together is a must. Also, I plan to propose before going out there. Stranded? No. Moving would not be too difficult. Like I said earlier, I will actually be closer to my family, so if things don't work out (but they will ), I will simply move closer to my awesome family a few hours away. As slightly as cynical as it may sound, I have made plans in the event that things don't work out (but they will ). so you didnt start out as an ldr?
soccerrprp Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 so you didnt start out as an ldr? No. We dated for a while in the same city. She moved away. Long story...
Life'sGood Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? - I am moving to him, leaving everything behind. I am going to count on the Internet to keep in touch. How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? - a year or so... Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? -I am not worried because I know things will work out fine and even if it didn't, I know I can stand on my own two feet (or go back home) I am more worried about having no knowledge about starting a family and adjusting to a new country. If so, how are you dealing with that worry? - Me and my fiancé talked about our concerns and we will do things one step at a time. Im just trying to get a feel for how other people manage this - what are your answers? 1
xUnknown Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I'm not in a LDR right now. We sort of have an on/off sort of relationship for the past 6 years now whenever we see eachother...its complicated. But, if in time, things go the way they have been and we lead into something... Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? I would be willing to move to her How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? I would say a year or two, it all depends on my job and if/when I decide to do grad school Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? Yes, but you have to stay positive...it will work out If so, how are you dealing with that worry? N/A 1
Meadowgreen Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? My SO moved in with me after just over two years. We're 5 years cohabiting now. How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? We started talking about living together within less than a year but due to money we couldn't do it straight away. Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? No, we didn't worry about that. We'd addressed most of our 'bumps in the road' before we started living together, and we're too stubborn to throw in the towel If so, how are you dealing with that worry? You just have to talk. Im just trying to get a feel for how other people manage this If it feels right and makes sense (job prospects, neighbourhood, cost of living, security in the relationship) then it'll all work out. Cheers 1
CherryT Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Just curious to those in LDR Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? If so, how are you dealing with that worry? Im just trying to get a feel for how other people manage this Cheers - i'm moving - We started talking about it 6 months in but by the time I move we would be long distance for 3 years. - I would not move if I was worried. The reason we waited? I'm moving Countries, I own my own business and home, and although we wanted to be together sooner, we wanted to do it the right way. Also I'd never move for a "boyfriend" so we waited until we were engaged because although i'm the one physically moving, we're in this for the long haul together. 1
Solcita2 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? - He is moving, but my case is a little bit diff to the rest, because we are from the same city, had a relationship there, lived together for around 3 years and then I moved to the opposite side of the world for grad school. Things in our country are not going well and our families don't care much about us... so it's not like he's doing a big sacrifice... How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? - We would be around 2 years I think... We will meet next year after 10 months apart and most likely get married. Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? -Not at all, because we know each other enough and we know if we eventually separate, we'll still be friends and help each other no matter what.
Carenth Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? I just moved to her a few weeks ago. Left everything behind besides what I could fit in two suitcases, sold everything else. How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? We had been talking about one of us moving about a year into the relationship. It's almost the 2 year mark now and the reason we waited is I wanted to save enough money that I wouldn't be a burden and could be self reliant. Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? If it doesn't work out I'm not really worried. I would be sad for sure but it's not like my life is ruined or anything. I weighed up the pros vs cons before deciding to move. The real worry I had was, would this be something I would regret 10 years down the road if I didn't at least try to make things worse. The answer for me was yes. On the other hand would I regret it if things went sour after trying, the answer is no. I get to live in and experience another country for some time. I just happen to be doing it whilst living with the person I love, so basically killing two birds with one stone. Other worry was getting work here. Which I've been surprised so far there seems to be quite a lot more work for the field I work in than I was expecting so I'm hoping to be employed within the next few weeks. If so, how are you dealing with that worry? Family and friends will be the things I miss most for sure. However with the internet and things like Viber that makes it easier to stay in contact. I'm not a person who needs a huge amount of face time (maybe that's why I was able to do LDR?) as long as I can contact and talk to them then that is fine. 1
LLQ1986 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Which one of you intends to move, leaving your job and friends and family behind? I intend to move to London (I'm from Malaysia) to be with my bf of 2yrs+ How long into the LDR do you plan to do it? Since I can visit the country without the need of applying for a visa (tourist visa -up to 6 months) I might just live with him for 3-6 months. Is the one moving worried that if things dont work out they will be stranded? To be frank, I'm not that worried even though I can't work while I'm there. Though I secretly wish I could take up some nanny job to earn me some pocket money. I think our relationship will improve when I'm there with him. If so, how are you dealing with that worry? Just praying and hoping for the best! 1
Author sun1972 Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 well i have an interview for a job just 6 miles from her..its a 10k pay cut!!! (i have a good job atm) and things have been rocky a bit now (due to distance) but if i get the job, im going for it.. 1
WhoreyBull Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 I'm going to move. No job, not close with family, have had a good track record of finding boyfriends in his country if things don't work out. Pretty much covered.
TMichaels Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 I'm going to move. No job, not close with family, have had a good track record of finding boyfriends in his country if things don't work out. Pretty much covered. LOL... If that's the case, why don't you just cut to the chase, and dump the guy you're moving to be with. He'll appreciate you sparing him the insult and you'll have a head start on the next one. Oh, and thanks for clarifying the significance of your nick. Perfect. Best, TMIchaels 2
WhoreyBull Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 (edited) LOL... If that's the case, why don't you just cut to the chase, and dump the guy you're moving to be with. He'll appreciate you sparing him the insult and you'll have a head start on the next one. Oh, and thanks for clarifying the significance of your nick. Perfect. Best, TMIchaels I am not saying I don't love this guy. I am just saying if he turns out to be the sort of ahole to make me move halfway around the world just to dump me (doubtful) I won't spare any tears. If I thought he was like that I would indeed "cut to the chase". Also my "nick" is because I joined the site while working as a prostitute. To clarify. Edited December 6, 2013 by WhoreyBull
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