LuxAri6 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I feel really stupid right now and I’m pretty sure I know what everyone is going to say, but I just have to get it out. I started dating this guy and I thought it was going great. We had a lot in common, the conversation just flowed between us, and all the signals he was sending made it seem like he was really into me. We have only been on two dates, but I fear that I made a HUGE mistake. Our first date lasted 5 hours. We had dinner, then sat in my car and talked until midnight. Towards the end our meal he excused himself to use the restroom and when he came back he was very relieved that I had not left in his absence. I just laughed and said you would have had to be a real ******* for me to have done that. On our second date after dinner and he asked me back to his place to watch a movie. I went over and after the movie was over we started making out. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I know that we shouldn’t have and that I should said no lets wait, especially since I like him so much, but I have terrible self-control. Afterwards nothing was weird, we cuddled and talked, he watched TV while I fell asleep on his lap and he played with my hair. Then he asked me if I was coming to bed. At no point in time did I get the vibe that he wanted me to leave. So I went, but I ended up leaving because I didn’t want my mom to worry about me not being home when she got there in the morning, especially since she didn’t know about this guy. He kissed me goodbye really passionately. The kind of kiss that says I’m sad to see you go, but I can’t wait till the next time I see you. We texted the day after and everything seemed fine, but I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been four days now. I texted him yesterday without a response, but it was at a bad time in the day because he was either driving to work or had just gotten there. He does work a lot but it’s really simple to send a text. Still nothing today so I called him. No answer and I couldn’t leave a voicemail because it was full. So I texted him “Hey! Clean out your voicemail!!! Lol You’re probably at work, but give me a call when you get home. I'll be up. It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you and I’d like to know that you’re okay”. That was a couple hours ago. Still nothing. I could have been wrong though and he may be sleeping. I guess tomorrow will tell. I’m just so confused because everything seemed so good. We talked about our families and he even mentioned jokingly about if he were to meet mine. It never felt as though he was just looking for a hook up. He was very open about himself and his past. I just don't understand. I keep analyzing everything thinking maybe I said something that didn’t sit right with him. I might have come off clingy but I’m really not. I don’t know. I had told him after we went to bed that I didn’t want to leave. And then he was talking about what he did in his free time. I don’t know how we got there but one of the things he said was going on dates, of which I responded with as long as they are with me I’m okay with that. Maybe I was just more into him than was into me, or he was really good at manipulating me into believing he liked me. I just liked him so much that I was blind to it. I've started to rethink that goodbye kiss. Maybe it was just more of a I had a great time, but I'm never going to see you again kind of kiss. He probably isn’t interested in me and only wanted sex. And like an idiot, I gave it to him. I just wish he would let me know for sure so that I can move on. It sucks sitting here staring at my phone wondering if I’m ever going to hear from him. Part of me wants to go visit him at work, that way he can’t avoid me, but I don’t want to come off as crazy or a stalker. I just need closure and I don’t know what to do.
Janesays Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT show up at his work. A guy (that I really liked, mind you) did that to me once and all he did was nuke any chance of me ever seeing him again. Quit texting. Quit calling. If he STILL stays silent, he is giving you all the "closure" you'll ever need. 5
Kizza Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Yeh a guy I went on a lunch date on... (1st date) showed up at my work that very night! freaked me out, he came multiple times after until I had to text him to stop. I never want to see him again. Don't contact him again. Move on. Don't feel bad for sleeping with him on the second date. Women are just as primal as men, this guy just might be a total jerk and used you or something else is going on. Just stop contacting him because the more you contact him without a reply the crazier you seem. 1
Author LuxAri6 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Thanks guys. Still no contact from him and I have stopped trying to contact him. At this point even if he did make contact I don't think I would be able to see him again. I would always be wondering if he was just going to use me and just stop talking to me again. I just can't take it. I was only dating him for a week and it still really hurts because I thought there was so much potential. I reanalyzed somethings and I'm not sure he was ever really into me. I think I was just so into him that I wanted to believe that he was just as into to me, so I convinced myself that it was true. He wasn't into me, just playing me. And if that was his game from the start, as much as it hurts now, I glad I happened early on instead of me growing full fledged feelings for him. I don't think I would have been able to recover from that. I'm moving on, crying it out, and only time will help heal this. I have definitely learned from this. In the future I will have self-control because I now know that if I don't it's going to end badly. No matter how bad I want it at that moment.
mortensorchid Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I'm sorry to hear this, but we have all been there. Life goes on. You have no way of knowing if it was only sex he was after or if it was something else, but whatever the reason it's over with. Stop contacting him, that's all the closure you need on anything.
winny Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Thanks guys. Still no contact from him and I have stopped trying to contact him. At this point even if he did make contact I don't think I would be able to see him again. I would always be wondering if he was just going to use me and just stop talking to me again. I just can't take it. I was only dating him for a week and it still really hurts because I thought there was so much potential. I reanalyzed somethings and I'm not sure he was ever really into me. I think I was just so into him that I wanted to believe that he was just as into to me, so I convinced myself that it was true. He wasn't into me, just playing me. And if that was his game from the start, as much as it hurts now, I glad I happened early on instead of me growing full fledged feelings for him. I don't think I would have been able to recover from that. I'm moving on, crying it out, and only time will help heal this. I have definitely learned from this. In the future I will have self-control because I now know that if I don't it's going to end badly. No matter how bad I want it at that moment. Can feel your pain But don't worry... however much it may pain right now... it will go away after some time. Thankfully it was just a week... Don't forget the lesson though - Do not sleep with someone so soon.
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