STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 (edited) Hi, some of you may know my story, my ex ended it with me a week ago, i still love her etc.. she says she 'loves me' but not 'in love' and so on, i went out today to re-invent myself, get a new haircut, buy some new clothes, focus on me, and do the NC I haven't seen her in a week, i got on the bus to go to a shopping outlet (mall) i got on the bus and my ex came on a stop after me.. she came up to me sat infront we had small talk she seemed really down when she saw me and sad. Later when i got home she messaged me saying ' good seeing you ' i replied short. The day i go to help myself and going through the start of NC & Reinventing myself i see her. What does all this mean? what do i do, everything happens for a reason. Edited November 25, 2013 by STKK
NoMoreJerks Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It means nothing. Keep on doing NC and don't look back. Don't let the door hit her on her way out, as the saying goes.
Author STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 It means nothing. Keep on doing NC and don't look back. Don't let the door hit her on her way out, as the saying goes. It means nothing even if she got upset when she saw me and messaged me afterwards?
Author STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Did she ask you if you want to get back together? No? Then it didn't mean anything. She was being polite. Alright....no need to be rude.. And she was with friends as well.
NoMoreJerks Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It means nothing even if she got upset when she saw me and messaged me afterwards? Probably feels guilty and wants you to reassure her that she's not such a bad person for having done this to you. Like I said, move on, unless it's a clear "I made a mistake, please take me back" and even then, I'd hesitate.
Author STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 (edited) I went out today to " Re-Invent " Myself after my break up, was totally prepared, my ex got on the same bus as me then boom... It hit me the NC Failed on the first day and it was completely awkward, now i'm back to square 1, feels like my hearts been broken all over again. I didn't know what else to do and i can't sleep it's 1am so i'm just venting on here. Edited November 25, 2013 by STKK
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You need to go out of your way to avoid all contact. So take a different bus next time sir. And the usual other precautions, block her facebook, delete all numbers and avoid ANYWHERE where she may be. Stay strong. You will be alright in the end
Author STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 You need to go out of your way to avoid all contact. So take a different bus next time sir. And the usual other precautions, block her facebook, delete all numbers and avoid ANYWHERE where she may be. Stay strong. You will be alright in the end Ah thank's i wish the end came faster, i feel like emotional wreck 24/7
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I'd say going NC with the person you love is one of the hardest things you will endure in life. Seriously though, you take it day by day, and pat yourself on the back when you cross each day off the calender. It must be in a way what Drug addicts and alcoholics must feel for every completed day sober, its a triumph, and believe me, it gets better! This site is great imo, and really can help. Even offering your own experiences to others too, really helps.
ks0985 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I'd say going NC with the person you love is one of the hardest things you will endure in life. Seriously though, you take it day by day, and pat yourself on the back when you cross each day off the calender. It must be in a way what Drug addicts and alcoholics must feel for every completed day sober, its a triumph, and believe me, it gets better! This site is great imo, and really can help. Even offering your own experiences to others too, really helps. I agree I quit smoking and that seemed like it was a lot easier than the first few days of no contact that's for sure
Author STKK Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Ok so my girlfriend ended it with me, i'm still in love with her. She kept sending me 'snapchats's of her at the beach and stuff everyday as i'm still in love with her that was really hard so i spoke up, we got into an argument its been 1 week since break up i said everything i stood up and said what needed to be said it was a bit harsh but i had to put it that way to let her know i'm not sticking around. I feel horrible now should i apologise? it wasn't anything untrue or mean it was just the faults that she has done to our relationship and afterwards.. i feel horrible now but it needed to be said.
organizedchaos Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Ok so my girlfriend ended it with me, i'm still in love with her. She kept sending me 'snapchats's of her at the beach and stuff everyday as i'm still in love with her that was really hard so i spoke up, we got into an argument its been 1 week since break up i said everything i stood up and said what needed to be said it was a bit harsh but i had to put it that way to let her know i'm not sticking around. I feel horrible now should i apologise? it wasn't anything untrue or mean it was just the faults that she has done to our relationship and afterwards.. i feel horrible now but it needed to be said. Um, she dumped you. You don't need to apologize for anything. Grow a pair. 1
Author STKK Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Rarely does a good outcome happen from telling someone that they're crap. That's why silence is so powerful. She should be leaving you alone, but you should be ignoring her. Don't apologise. Don't go near her. You need to implement No Contact now. Start deleting and blocking her from all social media, file her number away or delete it if you can't restrain yourself, and ignore her attempts to contact you. I wasn't saying she's crap, i was telling her the truth, she already knows about it but doesnt care, since she knows how i feels won't she understand and realise what she's done?
skydiveaddict Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I feel horrible now should i apologise? ( Are you crazy? Hell no should you apologize.
Never Again Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I wasn't saying she's crap, i was telling her the truth, she already knows about it but doesnt care, since she knows how i feels won't she understand and realise what she's done? "Truth" doesn't really matter when emotions are running high. Just zip it. You said you piece, even though you shouldn't. Don't make yourself appear weak by saying you're sorry. Yes, you shouldn't have spoken with her at all...but guess what? She hurt you. If she can't understand why you'd be upset at her on some level, then she's thick. Emotions run high during breakups. Just let it go. An apology will only damage you further. Seriously. It's time to play the quiet game. 1
Author STKK Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Nope. Humans don't respond well to criticism at the best of times. Getting stuck into them about "what they did wrong" only gives them a power trip. You're basically advertising that you aren't over them. If you stay silent, you avoid embarrassing yourself, you avoid any emotional blackmail from them, and you always look like the dignified one. What happens if she messages me? I still feel horrible her friend told me she was balling her eyes out afterwards, when we broke up she was a confused mess. What if that pushed her away for good
Shaine Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 If you apologize to her, that will just create a perception the whole thing is your fault. You can apologize once everything is calmed down, the wounds are closed and both of you have moved on. Apologized if she contacts you again after 6months.
nevergoodenough Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Ok so my girlfriend ended it with me, i'm still in love with her. She kept sending me 'snapchats's of her at the beach and stuff everyday as i'm still in love with her that was really hard so i spoke up, we got into an argument its been 1 week since break up i said everything i stood up and said what needed to be said it was a bit harsh but i had to put it that way to let her know i'm not sticking around. I feel horrible now should i apologise? it wasn't anything untrue or mean it was just the faults that she has done to our relationship and afterwards.. i feel horrible now but it needed to be said. So she broke up with you and you insulted her and blamed things on her as a means of trying to make her stay? Probably a bad idea. Regardless, you shouldn't say sorry if you meant it. Just leave it alone until she is ready to talk to you.
headinthecloud Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Do not contact her. What's done is done. Let sleeping dogs lie. You were incompatible or you wouldn't have been driven to be a person who you're not. We are all capable of great love, but we are also all capable of causing tremendous pain. Forgive yourself, you made a mistake. It happens. Try to learn from it and move on. Focus on working on yourself so that the next beautiful woman you meet does not treat you badly. Establish boundaries. Then build a positive healthy relationship where you both can grow and learn from one another.
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