CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Well, I am sure whoever replies to this has read my story ( its posted in this section ) but I had one question while I heal....even though my fiance broke it off with me and has not contacted me, I wanted to know.....is there any chance she still loves me? she has said she does and always will because I was the first person she ever felt so strongly for.....her family, co-workers, etc...said I was the only thing she ever talked about and they could not believe how happy she always was. I just wanted to see if anyone had any input. she ended things in short, because of being hurt over something I did, that was apparently too much for her to deal with. I know I will always love her, but will she love me? it was not cheating, or anything like that, more like a breach of trust, that could have easily been worked out but she chose otherwise...you can read my posts to find out more if you want....but I just have been thinking about this a lot...if I am still on her mind, etc..... thanks for any advice or input!
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by CA20 ...is there any chance she still loves me? ...I know I will always love her, but will she love me? ...if I am still on her mind, etc..... thanks for any advice or input! No she does not love you. No you're not on her mind. No she's not thinking about you. No she doesn't want to be with you again. No she's not having as hard a time as you. No she does not love you. Does that help you? You're asking questions that are insignificant and don't provide any assistance in you getting over this relationship. The relationship is over. How she feels now is of no consequence and you need to come to terms with the fact that one day she's not going to love you at all and she'll barely think about you. I know it's hard to overcome a relationship that has ended, but harboring thoughts that impede your healing are pointless. Stop worrying about her and focus on your life.
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Ok, well that was quite a wake up call there, maybe I needed it. facing these things is tough as you know, so thinking those things especially after being told by her that she will always love me and blah blah blah, is especially tough.....well, speaking of tough, thanks for the tough love...I needed it.
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 You did need tough love. You've posted many posts about her in the last few days that shows you're focusing way to much on her and not on how you should move forward.
tiki Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 It's obvious to me that she either didn't love you THAT damn much (she left you)...or you were either a really big prick and you left her no choice BUT to leave. Let's face it, it was one of the two, eh?
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Yes, I know...I have posted a lot, but it was a recent event, and it's the fact that we were getting married and it stings...my friends and family have been there for me, but when my mind starts wandering, This appears to be the only outlet I have ( I am at work) to really speak my mind and get it off my chest...I feel its better to post than to let it stew inside of me. and on the second post - yeah, its probably the fact that she did not love me THAT much, because I was not a jerk to her in any way at all...I treated her perfectly...so its the first guess I am sure. so now all I can do is let it go, and stop analyzing every little thing that crosses my mind. sorry for the incessant posting about her...I just need to get strong. thanks for the advice though, its much appreciated!
GreenCap Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 CA20 was in your shoes not too long ago and while I have not healed completely (relapsed last night), I think I have been able to gain a better control of my mind and emotions. Your post question is typical for someone who is the dumpee (like moi). And I had lots of tough love to whack me in the head to tell me to wake up. But realize as normal as you think these questions, realize that what has been said is true and you should just focus on yourself - you have to love yourself first before someone else can love you....cliche, yeap. You cannot control how she feels or does not feel for you. In your heart, you know that someone who treasures a relationship will be open to communication and set things straight instead of speaking in riddles. When riddles and puzzles happen, it usually is some sort of justification dumpers are piecing together to make themselves feel good about their own actions (what a time to have a conscience). More than likely, a new person has arrived on the scene (as in my case). I am not saying your ex cheated behind your back. I am just saying that humans are selfish and always on the lookout for bigger and better. She may have saw a new target, decided to cut things short with you before pursuing this new poort bastard. Commercialism and Globalization has entered into ourlives - Always Trade Up :-) So, you basically answered the question yourself. She does not love you and you don't give an EFF! You should not! It has been 3 weeks since my relapse yesterday and the time just gets longer everytime. I am on the road to recovery and I hope you will be able to soon. The new year is upon us, don't waste the opportunity to start a new. Cheers.
_Saffy_ Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 ca20 can i just tell you that i'm sure that the entire purpose of this site is for people to get advice, and incessant posting is not something that should be viewed as a problem to anyone. if you rang up the samaritans, would they turn you away on the grounds that you had already spoken to them that day?? no. and to be frank, if people dont wish to read or reply to your posts then there is no law that says they have to, so if it helps you vent, and helps you deal with things, then post away <hugz>
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Thanks Saffy! I know people get sick and tired of seeing someone re-hash everything, but in different wording, but I just need to post these things because I am feeling a lot of conflict ( as most people do when these things happen ) so I am not trying to get everyone to feel sorry for me or tell me '' yes she will come back and she does love you, she is just (insert kind remark here ) I am just dealing with it best I know how, and this board has been a tremendous help, along with people like Saffy!
tiki Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Who cares what people think? I'm here purely for the entertainment. You're entertaining me. Post away.
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 I'm entertaining you? I hope its a good thing, and not entertaining like watching a train wreck entertaining! I feel like I have been in one....but I will quit my whining and grow some, and move on.
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Yes, I know...I have posted a lot, but it was a recent event, and it's the fact that we were getting married and it stings...my friends and family have been there for me, but when my mind starts wandering, This appears to be the only outlet I have ( I am at work) to really speak my mind and get it off my chest...I feel its better to post than to let it stew inside of me. Didn't say there was anything wrong with you posting - just that everything you've posted has focused mostly on her and your relationship with her when what you should do be doing is focusing on your future.
tiki Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 CA, some is healthy....not an abundance of it. Posters keep LoveShack A-L-I-V-E and interesting!
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Oh, and I agree entirely pocky.....I need to cut the BS out and get on living for me...I have wasted 3 weeks of MY life over this, and she probably has not thought once about it...so your right...I need to do what benefits me, and this does not.
_Saffy_ Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 ya doing fine CA......now lets see ya next post about how ya gonna make things better for you......... <taps fingers on desk impatiently>........
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 well tiki, your right also.....I have dumped a good bit out here on the same thing....so what I need to do is get a new person in my life and come on here and post about that!
_Saffy_ Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 noooooooo thats not what you need what you need is to take some time out to heal, to learn to like you, to reflect on what went wrong, to make you a better stronger person, for when you are ready for the next person am i not teaching you anything here? lol
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Your teaching me everything! I am just joking around about that...I am going to take a time out and learn from this and hold onto the lessons for my next go around....so I will be ready for things a little better...and learn to love myself so that I can truly love the next person who loves me !
tiki Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Yeah...take your time with finding another woman...the last thing you need is to go through all of this ALL OVER AGAIN.
_Saffy_ Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by tiki Yeah...take your time with finding another woman...the last thing you need is to go through all of this ALL OVER AGAIN. hehe tiki.......you mean the last thing WE need dont you just kidding CA <hugz>
Author CA20 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 yeah no joke...what a nightmare...and as far as marriage goes...next time I wont give my heart away so easily.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 yeah no joke...what a nightmare...and as far as marriage goes...next time I wont give my heart away so easily. Hmmm easier said than done. I wear my heart on my sleeve always, and yes, I have been hurt enough times probably should have learned to cover it up more, but for me I'd rather be hurt then feel all closed up and wasting time playing guessing games and stuff. OK ALPHAMALE, come and get it now, here's one for ya hook, line and sinker baby! LOL!
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Hmmm easier said than done. I wear my heart on my sleeve always, and yes, I have been hurt enough times probably should have learned to cover it up more, but for me I'd rather be hurt then feel all closed up and wasting time playing guessing games and stuff. Ditto - I'm more afraid of feeling nothing than I am afraid of feeling pain. OK ALPHAMALE, come and get it now, here's one for ya hook, line and sinker baby! LOL! Oh gawd! Don't encourage him. He'll say something about throwing a dead maggot filled rabbit at her car or something more appalling.
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