Jenny1234 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I'm almost 7 months out. He basically walked away into the dark of night after 3 years together. He just couldn't do it anymore...no cheating or anything We had LC over the last 6 months...like a text once a week or so... About a month ago the communication on his side drastically dropped. It was always light texting between us.. Like a poker game.. No one ever said they missed the other. Anyways it's been driving me crazy...he never let any of my texts go unanswered until now. It sucks. I keep wondering does he has a new gf (but I doubt that since he was single for 5 years before me)... Is his life really THAT fabulous without me that he doenst even want to talk to me anymore. He moved in with new people a few months ago so I assume they are his new friends and he's having a good time with them now We are 32. I really thought this was the one. I've tried dating and picking up new hobbies and stuff.... Suddenly I'm bothered all over again and sad and would take him back
JoelBarish Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It's been just over 2 months for me so I kind of wish I was at 7 months like you are. Part of me wants time to pass so I will get over the break up and the other part of me is sad because the time of my life that I was with my ex is growing more distant. However, it's better that the past is getting further away because it certainly won't be coming back. It's better to leave it behind since it isn't coming back...I got off on a tangent there... I know you are sad and I am sorry. You wonder about what your ex is doing and that is understandable. I think the fact that you remained in low contact may have given you false hope and slowed your healing process. Just know that you are not alone and hang in there. 2
GeneralJennyJenn Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Right now you're feeling rejected but he already rejected you a while ago by walking out on you. You're better off NC with him. And more importantly what he does shouldn't matter to you anymore. Easier said then done trust me I know. Its hard to feel like you may have been replaced or they're having fun without you but honestly you don't know. If you're still harboring hopes of reconciliation then maybe its time to let the go? If you're just feeling lonely right now then recognize that, save your pride and do not contact him. Tonight feel sad, tomorrow wake up and tell yourself, you're going to move on. Sometimes we just have to talk some sense into ourselves. Be well. 1
Author Jenny1234 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I think right now in finally at the acceptance stage...I am Facing the fact he is never coming back...I think that's what's so hard again ...I just need to push past it all...I'm hoping 2014 will be my new fresh beginning. I'm back to NC...I know over time it will feel better. I'm way better than I was 6 months ago....just part of the emotional rollercoaster I guess Keep pushing on
Author Jenny1234 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 It's been just over 2 months for me so I kind of wish I was at 7 months like you are. Part of me wants time to pass so I will get over the break up and the other part of me is sad because the time of my life that I was with my ex is growing more distant. However, it's better that the past is getting further away because it certainly won't be coming back. It's better to leave it behind since it isn't coming back...I got off on a tangent there... I know you are sad and I am sorry. You wonder about what your ex is doing and that is understandable. I think the fact that you remained in low contact may have given you false hope and slowed your healing process. Just know that you are not alone and hang in there. The low contact did not help. It definitely added false hope. Even if his life is so amazing right now.... I really don't care...doesn't matter if he's single, dating, married.... Whenever I wish I was farther along my mother tells me not to wish my life away... Life in the moment even if it hurts. I picture my ex in the read view mirror...getting smaller and small as each day goes by...hopefully I won't even see him anymore in there. 1
Stay Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I think you delayed the process with LC, it's like dangling something you want so bad in front of you but you're never going to get it. It's really the worst way to feel. You constantly hope they text you, you constantly wonder what they're doing, you constantly hope something will come out of it. It might make you feel good for a moment but the next moment you start to think and wonder. Go NC because the healing only has begun now, even if contact is initiated, ignore it because I assure you once you start again it'll just make you feel like you you're feeling now. I went NC for about 6 months before meeting her again, guess what, I'm not back where I was but it surely did make me take some steps backwards. I started missing her a lot, thinking about her a lot more, etc. Mostly because she kept saying she miss me throughout our encounter and I really wish I could be with her again. 1
JoelBarish Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Whenever I wish I was farther along my mother tells me not to wish my life away... My mom tells me the same thing 1
fixing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Hey, bottom line, is you got two types of people in life. Decent, genuine, honest people, then you got the bad kind:selfish, deceitful, two faced, remorseless sociopathic types. He is the latter type. You will never get answers from the latter, because they simply do not give a ****. They bounce from one friendship/relationship to the next in a heartbeat. They are able to do that because they are never emotionally invested to begin with. You will always be a better person than he him. Just keep up the no contact and try to accept that you will NEVER get the answers you need. He is incapable as a human to answer them. Keep up the good fight. This will all be a faded memory soon. 2
Author Jenny1234 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Hey, bottom line, is you got two types of people in life. Decent, genuine, honest people, then you got the bad kind:selfish, deceitful, two faced, remorseless sociopathic types. He is the latter type. You will never get answers from the latter, because they simply do not give a ****. They bounce from one friendship/relationship to the next in a heartbeat. They are able to do that because they are never emotionally invested to begin with. You will always be a better person than he him. Just keep up the no contact and try to accept that you will NEVER get the answers you need. He is incapable as a human to answer them. Keep up the good fight. This will all be a faded memory soon. That is dead on..... I couldn't say it better. I would never turn my back on anyone...a friend, an ex, a family member. If the situation was reversed...and my ex was contacting me I would NEVER ignore him even if I had a new bf. And it's not even like my texts are anything heavy or crazy ...they are just chitchat once in a blue moon I read online somewhere that ignoring someone is a form of emotional abuse and passive aggressive behavior. That's my Ex to a tee... Can't deal with anything so better just to run away and suddenly ignore me I guess I will never understand how someone could be in contact for the last 6 months and suddenly stopped ... Like I never existed. But I've come to the point where I've granted his wish...you want to be left alone with your new life and roomies and whatever else you're doing ... Go right ahead...I'll never contact you again buddy! Have a nice life without me! Back to doing ME! 2
Still Searching Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 That is dead on..... I couldn't say it better. I would never turn my back on anyone...a friend, an ex, a family member. If the situation was reversed...and my ex was contacting me I would NEVER ignore him even if I had a new bf. And it's not even like my texts are anything heavy or crazy ...they are just chitchat once in a blue moon I read online somewhere that ignoring someone is a form of emotional abuse and passive aggressive behavior. That's my Ex to a tee... Can't deal with anything so better just to run away and suddenly ignore me I guess I will never understand how someone could be in contact for the last 6 months and suddenly stopped ... Like I never existed. But I've come to the point where I've granted his wish...you want to be left alone with your new life and roomies and whatever else you're doing ... Go right ahead...I'll never contact you again buddy! Have a nice life without me! Back to doing ME! I have to respectfully call BS/disagree here. Being a dumpee, during my sometimes weak moments when I'd make contact, usually afterwards I'd wished I'd been ignored, because the desired outcome of my contact never came. I've been a dumper, and although it was hard to do and hurt, I had to ignore my ex after a while, for their sake. I knew they wanted more out of our talks than I knew ever would be again, so to spare her the pain/hurt or risk giving false hope, I just cut contact. I can't say how many months of my life have been drug out with the LC and small talk, which prevented me from beginning to let go/move on. If someone wants to label me abusive/passive aggressive for ignoring someone, they can pound sand. Nobody is obligated to speak to, help, or listen to anyone they don't want to. I don't expect a thing from my exes, whether they dumped me or vice versa. Everyone's situation and opinion will differ, but to me personally, once a relationship is over, that person is gone from my life. I'll be cordial and polite if I happen to run into them, but they won't hear from me for any reason otherwise; they aren't my concern.
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