henderson14 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I've met a lot of women from dating sites recently and it just never works, and on top of that, they have done some flaky stuff recently that never used to happen to me. This has happened at least 3 times. Most recently, I had a girl tell me to text her when I got home after our date. Which I did and I never heard from her again. I had another text me after about a week of no response saying she was sorry for not getting back to me and wanted to go out again. But then I never heard from her again after contacting her. Had the exact same thing with another girl I met at a beach. Then the 4th girl hugged me and said "I'll talk to you again" and texted me thanking me and saying tonight was great. But then poof. I call her and never hear from her again. Is this normal behavior? It used to be that if you didn't like a guy, you didn't go out of your way to make them think you were still interested, you just said thanks but I'm not interested, or just not say anything. I'm starting to lose faith in women. Please tell me its just because most of these girls are from online dating sites or its not normal.
d0nnivain Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 OLD seems to bring out the worst in some people. It can't be the only tool in your arsenal. 3
Author henderson14 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 OLD seems to bring out the worst in some people. It can't be the only tool in your arsenal. So then it is because they are from dating sites and this doesn't normally happen?
soccerrprp Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 henderson, when i started dating again, it was only with online and none of them ever flaked on me. i've only met classy, serious women from the dating sites. everyone's experience is different, but no, that is NOT how ALL women from the sites are like. in fact, i am in a ldr and serious relationship with one of them! good luck.
StanMusial Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Some women are like that. I think with OLD they have so many suitors, they tend to move on to the next thing a lot quicker than otherwise.
Lansing Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I find that people in general are more flaky than ever and that girls that I meet (outside of OLD because I haven't done it in years) are also pretty flakey. I have even had girls initiate and ask what I am up to/when I want to hang out and when I respond with a suggestion for something they "poof".
Author henderson14 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I find that people in general are more flaky than ever and that girls that I meet (outside of OLD because I haven't done it in years) are also pretty flakey. I have even had girls initiate and ask what I am up to/when I want to hang out and when I respond with a suggestion for something they "poof". How old are you and how big of a city are you in?
lino Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I've never done online dating but experienced some of this in the past. It's normal female behaviour. The mentality is that they can get away with it so why not?
OpheliaSong Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I can't speak for all women but I think they flaked and were rude. No, this isn't normal anything behavior. Don't generalize or you miss the good girls. 1
Andy_K Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 They do it because they have to. With online dating there are a LOT of crazy guys out there. Guys who will take rejection very, very badly. The sort of guys you don't want to upset, or be anywhere near when they are upset. What many of these girls are doing is just playing it safe while they are with you by keeping up some pretence of interest, and then disappearing as soon as it is safe to do so. Don't blame them. Blame the psycho guys that taught them or their friends that it's what you have to do to be safe.
Author henderson14 Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 They do it because they have to. With online dating there are a LOT of crazy guys out there. Guys who will take rejection very, very badly. The sort of guys you don't want to upset, or be anywhere near when they are upset. What many of these girls are doing is just playing it safe while they are with you by keeping up some pretence of interest, and then disappearing as soon as it is safe to do so. Don't blame them. Blame the psycho guys that taught them or their friends that it's what you have to do to be safe. As I said in my post, three of these happened long after we left each other's physical presence. There was no "threat". There would actually be more of a threat if I was really dandelions by texting me a week later saying they wanted to go out again or afte I'm home.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I'd say it's normal in the sense that it can happen, you can't control other people's behavior and they may have felt bad rejecting you then and there....a lot of guys also tend to flip out and take it very personal and start asking why and how come in OLD in general, becoming aggressive and angry so women try and avoid confrontation...if your date didn't go very well then just realize it's possible and not always because of you. Personally haven't had it happen but if it did I would just let it go instead of dwell on it, you've got to let things roll off your shoulder and not let it mess with your head too much in OLD and that goes for men and women. If it happened consistently then I might spend a bit more time getting to know these women further before meeting them or update my pics, maybe you're not representing yourself realistically or you're incompatible with the women you're choosing...and at least they're showing up and going out on the date, which some guys can't even get to either so don't dwell on it too much after all when it rains it pours and that's just the way it goes sometimes wouldn't get too discouraged and disappointed.
salparadise Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I've met a lot of women from online as well. I have a few theories that allow me to keep things in perspective, regardless of not having empirical evidence to assert them as absolute facts. 1. If it seems that there are an abundance of kooky, flaky, BSC women online, it's probably because there are, so just accept it. Half of all women never appear online because they chose good partners and have remained married or in stable long-term relationships. By default you're dealing with the other half. There are damn good reasons many of them ended up single again. 2. The ones who are attractive, socially well adjusted, carrying minimal baggage (not kooky, flaky or BSC) don't last long. They find someone, begin a stable relationship and close their profiles within a few months. By default, the remainder are perpetually online and you're bound to lock lips with a few of them before you figure things out. 3. The Paradox of Choice changes the way people engage the process. People may be more preoccupied with opportunity cost than the primary opportunity. Confidence and satisfaction in choice is elusive in the context of large numbers of options, and many women perceive themselves as having unlimited options (because they control the vajay). So, one of the keys to success is learning to read whether a woman is attaching to you personally or merely seeking to maximize opportunity. 4. The most stable, confident, self-aware women (not kooky, flaky or BSC) are more reserved with regard to whom they respond, so it's logical that you'll run into several of the others for every one of them. 5. After meeting a number of new people, it's easy to start viewing people as generic opposite sex units... low investment, long-shot, possibilities. I recommend keeping the number of correspondents and dates low so as not to do that yourself. Pay attention and make sure the person you're talking to hasn't fallen into the same trap. Be very personable and interested, but also leave them room to come to you. Look for a woman who will meet you half way and express interest in you, otherwise you may expend a lot of resources on someone who sees you as a generic unit. 6. We're all looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack, so why would you think it's going to be either quick or easy? But, you're only looking for one really good one out of many thousands, and there are some good ones, so keep going and don't get cynical.
winny Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I was there on a OLD site for a month or something... It freaked me out... I think there are so many options out there so people are behaving as though they are out to buy shoes or something They want to try each pair
gentleman1124 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 a lot of men send them messages , so they make a lot of dates and pick up maybe one guy , or maybe they like doing that , women enjoy get a lot of men interested on them ,
Locust Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I thought OLD would be easier for me because I'm shy but I notice its hard plus lot of fake profiles out there. I guess meeting women the old fashion way in person is the best way to do it. I will admit I just don't have the balls to approach girls in the opening. I feel pretty shy and I get nervous when approaching a female. Sometime my brain will freeze and don't think clearly because of nervousness and I always thought online would be the best way for people like me. But turns out its really not better if not worst.
Recommended Posts