ptp Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 It seems that women can smell a lack of confidence like dogs can smell fear, so a question for the ladies. When you meet a confident guy, how does that guy handle rejection? For example if a confident guy asks you out, and you aren't interested for whatever reason, what is his response after getting the "No"?
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 It seems that women can smell a lack of confidence like dogs can smell fear, so a question for the ladies. When you meet a confident guy, how does that guy handle rejection? For example if a confident guy asks you out, and you aren't interested for whatever reason, what is his response after getting the "No"? He responds with some generic good luck statement and never contacts me again. Signs of lack of confidence: no response (he seems butt hurt), angry response, trying to change your mind, overly emotional response, sends another message few days later
Blade96 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 One of my friends said Ok then let's be besties! So, that's what we did. after i told him when he confessed he had a crush on me, it wouldn't work, we are too different, he is a dad and I am childfree. That's what a confident mature guy does.
Author ptp Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 He responds with some generic good luck statement and never contacts me again. Signs of lack of confidence: no response (he seems butt hurt), angry response, trying to change your mind, overly emotional response, sends another message few days later What about something like: "Well, you are so great/beautiful/sexy/funny etc... that I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try". 1
carhill Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 It took awhile to get to that point but back in the old days I used to smile, say 'Thanks, it was worth a shot!' and move on. However, most of my rejections were 'That's sweet but I'm married', so perhaps different from what's being dealt with here. A lot of women didn't wear wedding rings and still don't, surprisingly. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 He accepts it and moves on, disappointed but not appearing to be shaken. 1
befriendlyplease Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 It seems that women can smell a lack of confidence like dogs can smell fear, so a question for the ladies. When you meet a confident guy, how does that guy handle rejection? For example if a confident guy asks you out, and you aren't interested for whatever reason, what is his response after getting the "No"? Good question.
gaius Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 What about something like: "Well, you are so great/beautiful/sexy/funny etc... that I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try". Douchey on the level of douche chills. Rewarding a woman who just rejected you with a compliment.
befriendlyplease Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 What about something like: "Well, you are so great/beautiful/sexy/funny etc... that I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try". I don't think so. It sounds like an apology to me. Would someone say that to get a yes? I don't think it would work. I think they would just get shut down a second time, a little more smugly than the first. But I don't think there would be anything wrong with that response.
xxoo Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Really confident? A relaxed, "ok, we'll see about that". 2
Dark_history Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It seems that women can smell a lack of confidence like dogs can smell fear, so a question for the ladies. When you meet a confident guy, how does that guy handle rejection? For example if a confident guy asks you out, and you aren't interested for whatever reason, what is his response after getting the "No"? How many women actually give a resounding No when being asked out. I can only say from experience I never got a no, I always got a reason why they couldn't. So because of this, I didn't have the same response to each female. I will say this, as it was my favorite response. Girl said she couldn't for some reason, don't remember what it was. After hearing it, I looked to her friend next to her and said "How about you?" with a cheeky smile, friend gave me her number and I walked off with the look of disbelieve on the first girl
Versacehottie Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Confident guys don't face as much rejection for sure. But when they do, they handle it, I believe, as an issue of timing. In other words, they have a way of convincing themselves that the reason she said no is due to poor timing not disinterest in himself. It's a general law of successful people: that when there is a possibility that they could be the problem, they don't see it like that and place the blame on an outside source. Like timing. I think they also are more comfortable with the numbers game of it all. If you are confident, such as good-looking with outgoing personality, you tend to have more interactions and are more comfortable that someone who will want to date you is right around the corner. 1
TheGuard13 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 A truly confident man doesn't even acknowledge the rejection.
befriendlyplease Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 How many women actually give a resounding No when being asked out. I can only say from experience I never got a no, I always got a reason why they couldn't. That's happened to me too. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I remember when I was in high school. I played in a rock and roll band and played a lot of high school dances. After we played I met a girl and we seemed to hit it off and she told me she was going to be at this hang out where everybody went which was a burger joint with car hops and all that stuff. (This was in 1966). I saw her there and we talked and I asked her if she would want to go out and her reply was that she couldn't because of where I lived. I lived in a middle class neighborhood and came from a good middle class family and I never thought much about it. Now she lived in a "upper crust" town where I guess their $h!t doesn't stink. When she told me that, I looked at her in disbelief and said "Then why are you down here with all the great unwashed? Shouldn't you be home being spoon fed caviar"? She said that her parents didn't know where she was so it was cool but we can sneak and her parents would never know. It was the first time in my life that I ever told a girl to go F herself and go back to her neighborhood. Felt good too.
carhill Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Ha, I remember those years well. Lots of rejections and girls from the private school I went to who wouldn't be caught dead in an 'old' car on the wrong side of town. I guess it's something one has to experience to fully appreciate it. Looking back, I don't think they even realized what they were doing, rather just following the 'crowd', which at that school happened to be wealthy. Great life lessons, though the rejections stung, and would for many years after leaving. It was probably the laughing. Interesting how memories work. Unfortunately, I wasn't socialized to tell people to fµck off so didn't process things that way.
Imported Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 (edited) Depends on the level of interest I have on the girl I guess. In most cases, they are just women that I don't really know, so whatever. Edited November 25, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Imported Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I had a few times before where I asked a girl out and she rejects me. And makes a big deal out of "letting me down easy". I kept thinking......'damn, she is still talking. OMG, please shut up'. I think they thought I was in love with them or something crazy. All I did was ask them out/contact info. It is not a big deal. I don't know them to really care. They were just an attractive girl and there is always another attractive girl.
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Chuckle and tell them alright, or be genuine, admit it couldn't work, wish them well, and be on your way. Depends on the situation. If you've invested time and emotion in them and you guys tried to make it work but it couldn't, you're disappointed, but you understand, no hard feelings. If the girl blew you out before getting to know you, you laugh at her lack of good judgement. I do, anyways.
mario_C Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I had a few times before where I asked a girl out and she rejects me. And makes a big deal out of "letting me down easy". I kept thinking......'damn, she is still talking. OMG, please shut up'. She wanted to make sure you went away, I'm guessing? I think they thought I was in love with them or something crazy. All I did was ask them out/contact info. It is not a big deal. I don't know them to really care. They were just an attractive girl and there is always another attractive girl.I'm seeing a lot of this response in the thread. Basically the only acceptable response to being told no is "OK, I didn't care about you at all anyway, I'm just looking for something to do this weekend." Me bitter? Nah.
johan Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You can be self-assured so that the actions of a random girl you don't really know aren't important to you. She can say yes or no and you aren't phased. If you're feeling secure, then that's how you'll be able to respond most of the time. But then really how much of a test of your character is it to be rejected by a girl you don't care too much about? Even in that situation many guys come apart. Even that little shock is enough to knock some guys completely off balance. Even at my most confident rejection can still be a disappointment and feel like a setback. Contrary to popular believe, confidence doesn't equate to invincibility or numbness. It just means that you have the ability to look inside and recover and move on. Confidence and self-assuredness comes from accepting your limitations and valuing what you have to offer yourself at least as much as what someone else has to offer. You can easily regain your footing when you remember that the other things in your life are important enough you can't let something like this stop you. And that helps you keep the perspective that sooner or later your love life will improve: if you find yourself valuable, it's easier for a woman to value you. A guy who shrugs off rejection with a smirk or empty well wishes either really doesn't care, or is more likely hiding some serious pain from the girl and maybe even himself.
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You can be self-assured so that the actions of a random girl you don't really know aren't important to you. She can say yes or no and you aren't phased. If you're feeling secure, then that's how you'll be able to respond most of the time. But then really how much of a test of your character is it to be rejected by a girl you don't care too much about? Even in that situation many guys come apart. Even that little shock is enough to knock some guys completely off balance. Even at my most confident rejection can still be a disappointment and feel like a setback. Contrary to popular believe, confidence doesn't equate to invincibility or numbness. It just means that you have the ability to look inside and recover and move on. Confidence and self-assuredness comes from accepting your limitations and valuing what you have to offer yourself at least as much as what someone else has to offer. You can easily regain your footing when you remember that the other things in your life are important enough you can't let something like this stop you. And that helps you keep the perspective that sooner or later your love life will improve: if you find yourself valuable, it's easier for a woman to value you. A guy who shrugs off rejection with a smirk or empty well wishes either really doesn't care, or is more likely hiding some serious pain from the girl and maybe even himself. Agreed until the bolded. A confident man is confident in the belief that there are plenty of other women out there who will find him attractive. He knows the next girl is not far away. That's why he shrugs it off. It's not that important to him. 1
johan Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Agreed until the bolded. A confident man is confident in the belief that there are plenty of other women out there who will find him attractive. He knows the next girl is not far away. That's why he shrugs it off. It's not that important to him. Then you agree with me: guy who shrugs off rejection either really doesn't care, or is more likely hiding some serious pain from the girl and maybe even himself. You can't sincerely shrug it off if you actually care. And if you don't really care, then you aren't risking much, and that doesn't require a whole lot of confidence or courage. 3
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Then you agree with me: guy who shrugs off rejection either really doesn't care, or is more likely hiding some serious pain from the girl and maybe even himself. You can't sincerely shrug it off if you actually care. And if you don't really care, then you aren't risking much, and that doesn't require a whole lot of confidence or courage. Agree J. In most of these cases guys don't really care. When I reject a guy and he doesn't seem to care, it makes it a lot easier for me to move on and never look back. I have rejected guys that cared and they generally act differently. I don't believe that humans can hide emotions as well as they think. So it pays to look what's on the surface. If he seems that he has no emotion then he probably doesn't.
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Then you agree with me: guy who shrugs off rejection either really doesn't care, or is more likely hiding some serious pain from the girl and maybe even himself. You can't sincerely shrug it off if you actually care. And if you don't really care, then you aren't risking much, and that doesn't require a whole lot of confidence or courage. Not really. There's a certain level of maturity that comes with understanding when a relationship has reached its end. I'm assuming we're talking relationships because if you're emotionally invested in a girl you have no history with, that's a totally different issue. You have to laugh those off. But if we're talking some level of emotional investment, you express that you're disappointed, but you acknowledge that it's come to an end, and you move on as maturely as you can. Also depends on why things ended. Infidelity? Trust issues? Incompatibility? Etc. Was it an amicable split? Was one person in love and the other wasn't? So many different outcomes.
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