aznirishanna Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Hello LS, I need some guidance. My ex- boyfriend and I were dating for a little over a year when we finally ended things. Originally we dated long distance, but I moved here for him. We've been broken up for 4 months now. We saw each other (big mistake) two months after our BU, but 2 weeks ago he said he was "seeing someone else". I sent an apology letter to him today, just to put it out there. One of the main reasons we broke up in my belief is that I always pulled back and seemed indifferent to him if he were to leave. I wanted to tell him that I would fight for him in the future. If I were to get another chance. After a brief convo, I verified that he was single and asked to meet up for coffee. He said "not yet". GUYS: all the advice given is to cool it and let the other person initiate contact with you. But to all those who have successfully gotten a second chance... didn't you have to TRY?! I get soooo many mixed messages about whether a person should wait for contact. I believe I have to give a couple of weeks in between tries, but don't I have to keep trying? If you wait, you aren't showing that you care in my eyes.
2fargone Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 He said not yet... You should wait, yet move on. Mine said 'I cant be in a relationship with you right now'. I did figure out she has someone else, but that by itself has no meaning to me. Change your mindset. 'not now' is a choice. Not waiting for it should be yours.
Ftheeastcoast Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Hello LS, I need some guidance. My ex- boyfriend and I were dating for a little over a year when we finally ended things. Originally we dated long distance, but I moved here for him. We've been broken up for 4 months now. We saw each other (big mistake) two months after our BU, but 2 weeks ago he said he was "seeing someone else". I sent an apology letter to him today, just to put it out there. One of the main reasons we broke up in my belief is that I always pulled back and seemed indifferent to him if he were to leave. I wanted to tell him that I would fight for him in the future. If I were to get another chance. After a brief convo, I verified that he was single and asked to meet up for coffee. He said "not yet". GUYS: all the advice given is to cool it and let the other person initiate contact with you. But to all those who have successfully gotten a second chance... didn't you have to TRY?! I get soooo many mixed messages about whether a person should wait for contact. I believe I have to give a couple of weeks in between tries, but don't I have to keep trying? If you wait, you aren't showing that you care in my eyes. Stop looking for someone to give you confirmation that you can contact him. I can't tell who broke up with who, but it's likely not your place to try. Don't you see what your relationship is? You're hanging on his very word and have no say in anything. So you're going to drive yourself crazy planning when you'll contact him next. This isn't going to work. Let things blow over. You keep picking at the scab and it'll never heal. You know what works? Accepting that you can't change another person's feelings and just focusing on improving something about yourself. If he has time to do the same, maybe he'll talk to you again. Or maybe you find your own source of happiness and another person comes along that appreciates you and you don't have to deal with any hurt feelings. NC is a win-win strategy, it's just hard to stick with.
melell Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 You don't want to see someone until they want to see you just as much.
Shaine Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 It means he's not ready yet. Dont contact him, wait for him to contact you and ask to meet up. If he doesnt contact you, that means he doesnt want you anymore. So while he's deciding if he still wants you or not, would you waste your time waiting for him to decide if you're worthy of him? Nope. You should move on. So that when he finally decides to call you, you wont be as desperate for him. If you sound like you are too eager for a 2nd chance, he wont be as keen to get back with you. They like to chase. They want whAt they cant have. So you should try to move on and forget about him. Dont contact him. So when he calls you, it will be your decision if you want to take him back or not.
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