Boyfriend in afghan and become distant with two weeks to go

[blondechar]

This is a long shot anyone will reply but Ill be so grateful...

My boyfriend of a year is in afghan with the RAF, he left end of july and is back in just over two weeks.

I noticed around a month ago he became so so distant, some days we don't talk at all. It really pains me. He was so happy when he first got there talking about proposing and buying a house with me, thats all stopped completely. Sundays as usually the best day to talk to him, he was in a really good mood this morning and was flirting and being cheeky and I got a glimmer of hope we will be ok again. But then tonight he sent me a couple of messages saying he was going to bed then said good night without saying I love you. He won't say it unless I say it first anymore, this is my biggest worry. Im hoping its just a coping mechanism, can anybody who's been through this before relate? I thought he would be getting excited and become more cuddlery now its two weeks to go but I just can't work him out and I just hope he hasn't fallen out of love with me.

Can anybody shed any light on this behaviour?

Thank you

A sad girlfriend x

[bill101]

Hi,

 

I have been in the military for a couple of years and of course, I've had many LDRs as well.

 

Spending time in a theater war changes a person, no matter how tough you are. From what you said in your post, he appears to have ups and downs. To me, it's pointing towards a deployment stress related issue.

 

Based on my military background, I can tell you that when you are deployed, you will spend entire days working on a mission; literally 24 hours per day, non-stop.

 

Sleep deprivation, stress from the combat zone and the fact that he is away for his loved ones is probably why he is not consistent with the way he interacts with you.

 

Your BF not only has to maintain his LDR with you, but he also has to constantly be on the lookout for rocket attacks and he needs to look after the safety of his comrades at ALL TIME.

 

You need to have military experience to really understand what theses guys are going through on deployment. You will only be able to know for sure what's going on when you go pick him up at the airport upon his return.

 

I wish you both happiness and love !

Edited November 24, 2013 by bill101

[wild_dan]

your bf is in afghan working has ass off .. iv been there and when u have a gf .. it sometimes can be difficult he prob just wants to get the job done and get back home to you .. .. he will expect alot of attention from you because u should be missing him he is the one away in a foreign country... give him space and let him do his job... tel him your thinking of him and you love him

[skydiveaddict]

I thought he would be getting excited and become more cuddlery now its two weeks to go but I just can't work him out and I just hope he hasn't fallen out of love with me.

Can anybody shed any light on this behaviour?

Thank you

A sad girlfriend x

 

He will come around. It may take some time though. I've done two tours over there. That place messes with your brain. Try to be patient

with him.

Edited November 27, 2013 by skydiveaddict