Wall E Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 (edited) here's my story. dated my ex for 8 months. things were perfect at first. then things went rocky when she became emotionally unavailable, less sex, less talking, whatever. we tried working it out, i did everything to make her happy but she just fell out of love. so she breaks up. says she doesn't want to lead me on, and that its not fair for me because i deserve more that she can offer. she said maybe one day, when we both are both ready to love again, we can give it another shot. she said we both mean something and she will always love me no matter what happens. its been months since the break up. i admit i messed up, cried, begged and pleaded. it only made things worst. she said i'm harassing her to make things happen and not letting her heal. she was trying to prevent this mess, but i pushed her, and she's pretty pissed at me right now. i'm depressed now, because if i just left her alone right after the break up, maybe things would be different. but she's gone, she no longer has feelings for me, i gave her a text a month ago that i will not be contacting her anymore... so here i am now. did i ruin it for good? or will time tell if she might change her mind about us. Edited November 24, 2013 by Wall E
d0nnivain Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 You didn't ruin it. It was already broken. Even if you hadn't begged & pleaded, it was unlikely that she wasn't coming back. Whatever made her leave was on her, not you. Unfortunately, nothing you could have done or not done would have changed the outcome. let yourself off the hook & focus on moving forward.
fixing Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Yeah man. This is the flipside of being in love with someone. Unfortunately, people break up. She made the decision, so its her choice. You have no say in the matter. Dont worry about having pleaded/pressured her. Thats very common. You got to start finding yourself again now. No more calls or texts to her. Begin/stick to no contact. You never know what the future holds, none of us do. But for now, you got to pick yourself up and begin moving on with your own life. Post here, its really helpful to let off your emotional pain.
FearingTEN Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Hey man. Im going to be honest and say that love is very confusing, but you already know that. I went through the EXACT same thing as you. She broke up with me and I did all the mistakes most men make. And keep in mind that I was a wreck for about 2 months. Considering she left me for another guy, I decided to move on. And guess what? A month of strict NC led her to contacting me. I am now on the verge of getting her back. We say i love you everyday and talk everyday and haven't fought at all since her first contact.Now I am not saying that she will contact you because all women are different. But the first thing you MUST do is MOVE ON. Your heart might tell you not too but train your mind to think the opposite. Enjoy life and think of all the bad things about her no matter how minimal they were. what I am saying that there is hope if there was true love. What I am saying is to keep fighting. be a soldier and don't contact her. give her space. Give her a chance to understand life without you. Keep your head up man. Don't lose hope. 1
melell Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 It is really hard, I know. At the end of the day a person who decides they don't want to be with you is not the person you should be with. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now, I promise you that you don't want to be with this person. 1
Author Wall E Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 thanks everyone. i'm just hard on myself, because i feel it was my fault she was unhappy. the thing is when we broke up, she told me she doesn't want to leave, and wishes we could end up together, but she has to break it off because it was becoming unhealthy. i talked to her family and they said my ex really loves me, but i need to let her go if she's not happy. our breakup was smooth, even talked about maybe having a future partnership. but i feel i messed things up in the following months. accusing her of leaving me for another man, arguing about everything. now i feel she hates me, thats why i think i ruined it. if only i did NC as soon as we broke up.
ks0985 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Whats done is done, you can not change the past so there is no reason to keep revisiting it. Learn from your mistakes you will find someone else and you can use the mistakes from this relationship as a learning experience for the next girl you are with. Easier said than done i know. We all have tendancies to think back on the good times but when time passes im sure you can look at this relationship with a unbiased view and probably notice signals or red flags that led up the the relationship demise.
chris21422 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Same thing happened to me man. We broke up because of same reasons. The only difference is I didn't beg. I just disappeared after break up. Deleted her everywhere.. Got a text after 3 weeks of NC.. replied after 12hrs saying "I'm good thanks." no reply from her. No contact from her either after that.. Don't worry about it man. Just start NC now and just disappear.
Author Wall E Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Same thing happened to me man. We broke up because of same reasons. The only difference is I didn't beg. I just disappeared after break up. Deleted her everywhere.. Got a text after 3 weeks of NC.. replied after 12hrs saying "I'm good thanks." no reply from her. No contact from her either after that.. Don't worry about it man. Just start NC now and just disappear. i am.. was it a mistake to tell her i'm going NC?
chris21422 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Yes it's a mistake, If you haven't don't tell her.. You don't need to tell your going NC.. Just disappeared like a ninja. But if you already did.. well it's ok.. It's already there just go NC.. i am.. was it a mistake to tell her i'm going NC?
Author Wall E Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 another thing when we broke up, my ex told me not to talk smack about each other so that if there was an "us" in the future, our family and friends will be accepting to us. i did the mistake and telling everyone what happened, she got really upset, and thats the main reason why we can't get back together.
nevergoodenough Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 another thing when we broke up, my ex told me not to talk smack about each other so that if there was an "us" in the future, our family and friends will be accepting to us. i did the mistake and telling everyone what happened, she got really upset, and thats the main reason why we can't get back together. No it isn't, the main reason is because she broke up with you. All you can do is leave her be (don't tell her you are doing NC) and hope she comes back to you in the future. Stop beating yourself up for going after her, you loved her and gave it your best shot. Make a plan and stick to it at this point.
Author Wall E Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 No it isn't, the main reason is because she broke up with you. All you can do is leave her be (don't tell her you are doing NC) and hope she comes back to you in the future. Stop beating yourself up for going after her, you loved her and gave it your best shot. Make a plan and stick to it at this point. i mean not the reason we broke up, but why we can't get back together. she was holding on to hope for us, but i feel i just killed everything. i am strict NC now, hoping she changes her mind.
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