nicepuzzle Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 So true..after a horrible ending mine came back after 6 years when I had moved on and was happy with my life. Now I ended it even more horribly and told his wife. Now I am sure he will never come back. His wife will keep a watch on him. Lets see
lilmisscantbewrong Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Wow - are you kidding me? 6 years and he shows up! Amazing. Had there been complete no contact during that time? I'm glad you were able to stand firm.
Hope46 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Mine came back after 8. We were together for 3 before that and I walked away. He came back for me after 8 and we are finally happy. His divorce is going to be finished in January and we are going to be together. Sometimes, they do come back. 1
Cinnimon Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 So true..after a horrible ending mine came back after 6 years when I had moved on and was happy with my life. Now I ended it even more horribly and told his wife. Now I am sure he will never come back. His wife will keep a watch on him. Lets see I'm sorry, I'm kind of confused. So you had moved on and were happy in your life and he came back and you became re-involved with him again?
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Wow - are you kidding me? 6 years and he shows up! Amazing. Had there been complete no contact during that time? I'm glad you were able to stand firm. Yes a complete NC except saw him socially on 2 occasions. He was the same and so was I. So I broke up again foe good. Somehow he though I will be a successful OW who will see him occasionally for sex and will lead a double life like him. He was was still a je**
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Mine came back after 8. We were together for 3 before that and I walked away. He came back for me after 8 and we are finally happy. His divorce is going to be finished in January and we are going to be together. Sometimes, they do come back. He did love u truly. Mine came back to reestablish same relationship where he had nothing to offer except meeting and sex and cry on past. I was thinking he must have lived mw ro come back but he was still same. Had nothing to offer mw and now I had to move all over again. Sometimes they come back and still are the same. Lucky u.
whichwayisup Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 So true..after a horrible ending mine came back after 6 years when I had moved on and was happy with my life. Now I ended it even more horribly and told his wife. Now I am sure he will never come back. His wife will keep a watch on him. Lets see Why even bother acknowledging him after 6 years? Are you saying you allowed him back into your life after so many years apart and again it ended and then you told his wife?
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I'm sorry, I'm kind of confused. So you had moved on and were happy in your life and he came back and you became re-involved with him again? Yes I got involved again thinking he must have truly loved if hw came back after so long. I had moved on was leading a normal life finally.
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Why even bother acknowledging him after 6 years? Are you saying you allowed him back into your life after so many years apart and again it ended and then you told his wife? I took him back since he apologize d for past and professed his love for me and he sounded so genuine and when we became emotional he told me it was all wrong and lets go NC again so emotions are calm and than let's be friends again...crazy huh. Told his wife to get rid of him for good.
whichwayisup Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I took him back since he apologize d for past and professed his love for me and he sounded so genuine and when we became emotional he told me it was all wrong and lets go NC again so emotions are calm and than let's be friends again...crazy huh. Told his wife to get rid of him for good. I guess you weren't totally over him, even though you say it ended really badly 6 years ago. What his wife does or doesn't do now isn't your concern. I hope now you'll be able to see him for who he is, and also do some self reflecting, to let an ahole like that back into your life after 6 years... To start up an affair again... Anyway, find that happy place again.
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I guess you weren't totally over him, even though you say it ended really badly 6 years ago. What his wife does or doesn't do now isn't your concern. I hope now you'll be able to see him for who he is, and also do some self reflecting, to let an ahole like that back into your life after 6 years... To start up an affair again... Anyway, find that happy place again. you are right. I wasnt over but had accepted life without him and even seeing him socially and exchanging hellos with smile. In other words I had no expectations and was happy and seeing other man. However wasnt able to love anyone like I loved him. He was all emotional and was crying over loosing me ans when I became emotional he dumped again. I had no choice but tell his wife. I needed a final closure for myself. self reflection is what I am doing now and discover ing how naive and stupid I was to believe him and put myself in that situation again...
whichwayisup Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 you are right. I wasnt over but had accepted life without him and even seeing him socially and exchanging hellos with smile. In other words I had no expectations and was happy and seeing other man. However wasnt able to love anyone like I loved him. He was all emotional and was crying over loosing me ans when I became emotional he dumped again. I had no choice but tell his wife. I needed a final closure for myself. self reflection is what I am doing now and discover ing how naive and stupid I was to believe him and put myself in that situation again... Did you apologize to his wife for having two affairs with him? Own your part in it? I hope you didn't just put all the blame on him. yes he is married to her, but you were the AP 2 times, knowing both times he was married. Let this be total and final closure forever..Never let him back into your life, even if he is divorced.
Yayo Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 how on earth do these guys get in touch with you after 6/8 years? Did your numbers or emails or addresses never change or something?
hopewild Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Did you apologize to his wife for having two affairs with him? Own your part in it? I hope you didn't just put all the blame on him. yes he is married to her, but you were the AP 2 times, knowing both times he was married. Let this be total and final closure forever..Never let him back into your life, even if he is divorced. I agree! I don't understand OW reaching out to BS and trying to turn this into a "men are pigs!!!" thing. Two adults were involved and made a conscious decision. You were one of them. You stayed away for all those years and then you let him back in. And then out of spite or good intentions or whatever you want to call it you contact his wife......why? What could you possibly gain from it? I don't get it. 1
thecharade Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You owe the BS nothing, Nicepuzzle. Neither of them are your concern or worry anymore. Get yourself healthy and focus on being great to yourself. You have been a victim too, and many of us understand that. Don't allow him to take advantage of you again. And ignore the people who have never walked a mile in your shoes. They have no business coming here and giving you advice of any kind. The fact that they bring their bitterness here to lash out just illustrates their misguided pain. Ignore and focus on the positives of your own future. Good luck to you. Now that you see him for who he is, you can finally find peace. 3
hopewild Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You owe the BS nothing, Nicepuzzle. Neither of them are your concern or worry anymore. Get yourself healthy and focus on being great to yourself. You have been a victim too, and many of us understand that. Don't allow him to take advantage of you again. And ignore the people who have never walked a mile in your shoes. They have no business coming here and giving you advice of any kind. The fact that they bring their bitterness here to lash out just illustrates their misguided pain. Ignore and focus on the positives of your own future. Good luck to you. Now that you see him for who he is, you can finally find peace. Exactly. So leave the BS alone. She has no business with her at all.
HopingAgain Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You owe the BS nothing, Nicepuzzle. Neither of them are your concern or worry anymore. Get yourself healthy and focus on being great to yourself. You have been a victim too, and many of us understand that. Don't allow him to take advantage of you again. And ignore the people who have never walked a mile in your shoes. They have no business coming here and giving you advice of any kind. The fact that they bring their bitterness here to lash out just illustrates their misguided pain. Ignore and focus on the positives of your own future. Good luck to you. Now that you see him for who he is, you can finally find peace. This is truly one of the most ridiculous replies I've read on here. OP contacted the wife TWICE, not the other way around...to inform her she had been sleeping with her husband in 2 seperate affairs. Of course she should at least apologize. Its not like the wife even sought her out. OW initiated contact with her! 2
WakingUp Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 You owe the BS nothing, Nicepuzzle. Neither of them are your concern or worry anymore. Get yourself healthy and focus on being great to yourself. You have been a victim too, and many of us understand that. Don't allow him to take advantage of you again. And ignore the people who have never walked a mile in your shoes. They have no business coming here and giving you advice of any kind. The fact that they bring their bitterness here to lash out just illustrates their misguided pain. Ignore and focus on the positives of your own future. Good luck to you. Now that you see him for who he is, you can finally find peace. One thousand likes! 1
WakingUp Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 This is truly one of the most ridiculous replies I've read on here. OP contacted the wife TWICE, not the other way around...to inform her she had been sleeping with her husband in 2 seperate affairs. Of course she should at least apologize. Its not like the wife even sought her out. OW initiated contact with her! Really? Do you believe that the wife would have been better off not knowing about her husbands wanderings? And isn't it the husbands place to apologise? All sounds a bit angry and delusional, to be honest. 1
Hope46 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 you are right. I wasnt over but had accepted life without him and even seeing him socially and exchanging hellos with smile. In other words I had no expectations and was happy and seeing other man. However wasnt able to love anyone like I loved him. He was all emotional and was crying over loosing me ans when I became emotional he dumped again. I had no choice but tell his wife. I needed a final closure for myself. self reflection is what I am doing now and discover ing how naive and stupid I was to believe him and put myself in that situation again... I was the same. So was he. We never got over each other but we wandered through life the best we could. He came back. He apologized and we started up again. When I saw it was moving in the direction as 8 years ago, I stopped physical contact. It was tough, but made him see I meant business this time. You have to put you first. You weren't stupid. We just want to believe them so much. I wish you the best in your journey. I was you. We do make it. Just remember that. 2
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Did you apologize to his wife for having two affairs with him? Own your part in it? I hope you didn't just put all the blame on him. yes he is married to her, but you were the AP 2 times, knowing both times he was married. Let this be total and final closure forever..Never let him back into your life, even if he is divorced. I did apologize for my part. She was already aware of his other affairs and wasnt surprised. She just wondered who else knew aout it and told me he would deny and needed proof to confront him. She herself had cheated on him so it looks like they both have a cheating relationship . I am close to his extended family so there were chances of bumping into him and he still wanted to be frriends after rehashing everything. by telling her i removed my chances of repeating history and now his wife will keep the trash in her backyard. He has a reputation of a womanizer and a player.
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 how on earth do these guys get in touch with you after 6/8 years? Did your numbers or emails or addresses never change or something? common friends, family, same emails, phone numbers, same locations and more...
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I agree! I don't understand OW reaching out to BS and trying to turn this into a "men are pigs!!!" thing. Two adults were involved and made a conscious decision. You were one of them. You stayed away for all those years and then you let him back in. And then out of spite or good intentions or whatever you want to call it you contact his wife......why? What could you possibly gain from it? I don't get it. I told his wife: 1. I knew her personally 2. I met him the on social events where he played games in front of his eyes, including in his own home 3. I knew his wife history where she cheated on him and as per what he told me, that she had someone else child and he is raising her. So I didnt feel much bad telling her. As per him, he sleeps with whole town because of that, BUT he did love me. ( yes believe it or not but he said that to me) 4. First time when I broke up with him and relocated and moved on with my life I tried to keep a cordial relationship with the entire family and wished him luck. However, I cried for 2 years missing him and but handled it and successfully created this wonderful friendly relationship and forgave him. 5. Second time, when we got emotional and he behaved jerk and told me to deal with it. It was time to give him back. I wasnt going to fel orry for myself and try to move on again and feel bad for me. He showed his real face second time and now he should deal with it too, so exposed to his wife. 6. I completly want to block him and his wife too so I do not see him ever gain. It was only way to break up for good. in another way, i told him to go to his wife and do the right things. I didnt want to play any games with him anymore and keep going in circles.
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 You owe the BS nothing, Nicepuzzle. Neither of them are your concern or worry anymore. Get yourself healthy and focus on being great to yourself. You have been a victim too, and many of us understand that. Don't allow him to take advantage of you again. And ignore the people who have never walked a mile in your shoes. They have no business coming here and giving you advice of any kind. The fact that they bring their bitterness here to lash out just illustrates their misguided pain. Ignore and focus on the positives of your own future. Good luck to you. Now that you see him for who he is, you can finally find peace. *hugs to you*. I have wasted 12 years of my life (6 with him and 3 try to move on and now...)because of this man and never truly moved on, since he didnt let me move on and I was stupid enough to fall for his games. Whereas, he always knew what he was doing. he was a professional player in this field and compartalized everything, but he NEVER communicated to me that. So I got led on. I was quizzing, why he was doing this or that, but he was simply trying to control his emotions by giving gaps, not seeing for dates etc, while I loved him with heart and soul. He is 10 years older than me and always knew what he wanted out of me. he made me close to his whole family to have me around, and I didnt have anyone in the town. I got really close to his family too. Even today I am close to them and they are my only family and really care for me. My part was in this whole thing was loving him with my pure heart and soul and feeling sorry for his miserable life. Including having a illegimate child at home. he cried about that and when I got emotional pull off and came back when I felt better. I tried to move on, but couldnt love anyone the same way and that was one of the reason for me to come back to me. I was thinking he was a different man who actually loved and all I needed was love. He is a business man and does everything calculative and planned and I was just dumb. Learnt my lessions twice and now after an year, still trying to leave that behind, now with double guilt, that I didnt have to finish it that bad, but what choice I was left with... Some People wouldnt understand here, since they have no clue what I went through and how he misused the pure feelings. 1
Author nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Really? Do you believe that the wife would have been better off not knowing about her husbands wanderings? And isn't it the husbands place to apologise? All sounds a bit angry and delusional, to be honest. If I didnt tell her, he would have continued his game and there could have been a 3rd affair.... I did a favor to her 3
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