Should I end things with passive aggressive boyfriend? (A little long)

[PurpleeHaze]

Hi! new to Loveshack.

 

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months, but have known each other for a little over a year and started out as friends and then went on our first date on my birthday last year to a concert prior to me relocating back home to California to live with my father while continuing to aim towards a major in Art and Illustration. While being out there, he was very adamant about us keeping in contact..after being in Los Angeles for a few months, we began talking as long distance. He was honestly the sweetest guy ever, contacting me literalły like every hour, in between classes, FaceTiming/calling/texting throughout the day while hanging out on campus and every single night. He even came to visit Christmas break.

 

To make the story shorter, while talking long distance he confessed to me he is in love with me. I'm his first girlfriend ever even though we're both only 20 and he is my first serious boyfriend. Thins were perfect until I had to move back to the east coast because of my mother who is starting to have heart problems..dealing with a very hurtful and revengeful attitude after telling my father about my mom it was easy to leave even sooner.

 

Shortly after moving back east, my boyfriend and I spent everyday together pretty much and then put out the idea of us living together while attending school still..I jumped the gun and moved in with him and his roommates/roommates gf. Everything was great yet again and then over the past 3 months he's become very distant in certain ways and would always throw a pity party about how depressed he's become so I would go out of my way to take us out to eat, go hiking/adventures are the city, show him how to paint to relieve stress, buy his beer, cook and clean for him, and have sex whenever he wanted to because I genuinely enjoy making other happy..but as soon as I asked him to do something as small as give me a massage (I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and have had 2 back surgeries) he would act like it was a bother for him or to even take me out.. He started to use phrases like "I guess I can" or "fine ill do it, can I do it later though I'm gonna start on homework" but end up on his phone for hours talking to whoever..his phone gets more attention than I do an gets excited about showing me other girls online! when I express these things to him about how I feel and the possibly of him cheating or wanting to be with someone else he flips it on me and will say "well guys always flirt with you when we go out, I'm not good enough for you" "I've been this way all my life idk how to show emotions like that it's just not me but I guess I'll try to change" and does the exact same thing again. He's started making comments about my appearance but in a jokingly way like calling me crusty toes? Haha I've never heard that from anyone in my life.. And would say things like you think too much you crazy girl.

 

He pretty much made me move out of his house and had to find a place to live within 3 days but said it's because his mother doesn't want me stay there and he can't control her..so I moved like 20 minutes away, but he started to complain about wanting space if I asked if he can take to a dental appointment and when I did give him a week of space he said I was too far away from him it's driving me crazy. We went to a concert that was an hour away for my bday( he made me pay for myself at dinner, pay for gas, and pay for him to get in the event) but we agreed to drive back in the am because I had to be at work at 5pm. He didn't end up picking me up to get on the freeway until 15 minutes before I was scheduled to work causing me to loose my job..I suggested taking a break to work on ourselves and for him to get help for his depression. It's been 2 weeks, I'm now living with my mother that's in the city that's an hour away, he's on Zoloft and seems more positive but has not stopped contacting me ever since so it doesn't feel like we're on a break..he doesn't want anyone else to have me ore me to stop talking to him and to meet up with him after thanksgiving but worries me bc his mother is bipolar and has called/text to cuss my mother and me out. Should I just wait for him to get better with counseling and treatment or move on?

 

I'm afraid to let him go bc of all of the times I've been abandoned by friends after being assaulted at high school sleepover and dealing with my parents uncooperative relationship..I've gotten past depression with the help of counseling and have been more way more positive these past few years achieving a lot with volunteer work, school, and making art but this is bringing me down all over again and am unsure what to do. Thanks in advance ~

[Philosoraptor]

Yes, leave this loser in the dust. Don't even second guess it. He's manipulative and very selfish, and really not worth your time. I feel bad for whichever woman settles for him.

 

He's controlling, posessive, selfish, and manipulative. And though you may sympathize with his situation, you needn't be a martyr and waste your life on such a person.