STKK Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 (edited) I'm 17, 6 months earlier this year i fell in love, she was my first love lost my virginity met my parents, first big relationship. We were aways happy, had fights like every other normal couple we worked through them. We were in love with each other and i still am, towards the last month our relationship got boring, same routine etc.. and it was both our first BIG committed relationship, so the chances where it wasn't going to last i mean we both want to be able to see other people while we are teens right? Last week we were more inlove then ever, we got in a fight at the end of that week we needed a break because the relationship was all so much, we needed time for ourselves, third day of break she said she fell out of love just like that and she's been falling in & out of love for about a week before the break? Never said a word about it though. So now we are over, she was my best friend my everything i completely opened up to her about my whole life, she changed me, literally changed the person i am. I can't hate her she cant help how she felt, i respect she was honest about it. I still am deeply in love with her and think about her everyday.. I've tried the NC Guide for about a week but i don't know if its the right thing to do.. because she was my first love etc.. I still want her in my life and she said she still loves me just not ' In-Love ' Since we ended so fast and the circumstances were irrational could it be she just is going through a phase? I don't know.. she still cares about me deeply but won't speak about how she feels to me. Is it possible there is still hope for us? I don't want to let go of something then finding out later it could have been fixed, we were perfect for each other. Please Help Ps; we broke up 17 days ago.. Edited November 24, 2013 by STKK
aelvidge Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 If I were you I would stick to no contact. If it is a phase she will soon realize and if not it will give you time to get over her and realize you can meet someone better!
Dez Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 If I were you I would stick to no contact. If it is a phase she will soon realize and if not it will give you time to get over her and realize you can meet someone better! do no contact
andyman21 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 you're still young and if by going NC she doesn't contact you either then that will be your answer. All you can do is give her space and if she want to be with you she will contact you. I know first love is tough trust me i'm going thru it right now but only difference between us is that i was in a 7 year relationship with my ex (we are both 24 years old) and we have a baby together. it's hard but keep going NC. i'm barely in day 2 of NC with my ex and still it is very hard and hurts like hell but we can't do anything to force love.
Natasha94 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Well it's funny how people change their minds so randomly. About 10 months ago I lost my first love too. It was the first time I feel this way towards anyone. Ever. I never went no contact, because he used to text me all the time. I even went on a rebound which in my case helped a little. I don't know for sure how much no contact is helpful/harmful. Now I'm still in love with the first guy.. maybe if I had gone absolutely no contact I would have been over him by now.. but still sometimes I like to believe that when we talk, it makes me realize that he is just a normal human being.. he's not some kind of god or anything and it helps me stop idealising the whole relationship.
Author STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Well it's funny how people change their minds so randomly. About 10 months ago I lost my first love too. It was the first time I feel this way towards anyone. Ever. I never went no contact, because he used to text me all the time. I even went on a rebound which in my case helped a little. I don't know for sure how much no contact is helpful/harmful. Now I'm still in love with the first guy.. maybe if I had gone absolutely no contact I would have been over him by now.. but still sometimes I like to believe that when we talk, it makes me realize that he is just a normal human being.. he's not some kind of god or anything and it helps me stop idealising the whole relationship. So you still talk to him?
jessiej Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 I can relate to you a lot! I am also 17, and just recently my 3 year relationship ended. Just like you, I was the dumpee, and he said he just wasn`t in love with me anymore. He was also my first serious relationship, my first everything! I understand how badly it can hurt when you love someone so much but they just walk away. Just like you, when me and my ex broke up I didn`t want to give up hope at all, just like you said, I didn`t want to move on if there was something I could have done, and some way to fix it! I realized though that there wasn`t. Your ex knows you, and knows what she wants and if you are not it then it sucks, i know, but there will be so many more people out there! I`ve been doing NC for a little over a month now, and it really does help. I know how badly you want to contact her and just make up and have everything be okay, but sadly it doesn`t work like that. I had false hope of making things work with my ex because I was convinced he was the one, and he was my first serious love so I didn't want to lose that. There is always a possibility that she could come back, but you never know. And I wouldn't bet on it. The absolute best thing that you can do right now is to do NC, because this will help you move on and get out of the habit of talking to her and having that person there for you, and it will also give her a chance to miss you. If you keep in contact with her it's less likely she'll come back because she won't be able to miss you. Sometimes people can be friends with their ex's and stay in each other lives, but that is only when both people have truly moved on and have no feelings for each other. If you try to be her friend and still talk you'll never get over her! I know exactly what you're going through, and it sucks ALOT but it does get better. Just focus on yourself, and I know this all sounds really cliche and doesn't help but truly think about how much of life you still have left and how many people you will meet and experiences you will have!
Author STKK Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 I can relate to you a lot! I am also 17, and just recently my 3 year relationship ended. Just like you, I was the dumpee, and he said he just wasn`t in love with me anymore. He was also my first serious relationship, my first everything! I understand how badly it can hurt when you love someone so much but they just walk away. Just like you, when me and my ex broke up I didn`t want to give up hope at all, just like you said, I didn`t want to move on if there was something I could have done, and some way to fix it! I realized though that there wasn`t. Your ex knows you, and knows what she wants and if you are not it then it sucks, i know, but there will be so many more people out there! I`ve been doing NC for a little over a month now, and it really does help. I know how badly you want to contact her and just make up and have everything be okay, but sadly it doesn`t work like that. I had false hope of making things work with my ex because I was convinced he was the one, and he was my first serious love so I didn't want to lose that. There is always a possibility that she could come back, but you never know. And I wouldn't bet on it. The absolute best thing that you can do right now is to do NC, because this will help you move on and get out of the habit of talking to her and having that person there for you, and it will also give her a chance to miss you. If you keep in contact with her it's less likely she'll come back because she won't be able to miss you. Sometimes people can be friends with their ex's and stay in each other lives, but that is only when both people have truly moved on and have no feelings for each other. If you try to be her friend and still talk you'll never get over her! I know exactly what you're going through, and it sucks ALOT but it does get better. Just focus on yourself, and I know this all sounds really cliche and doesn't help but truly think about how much of life you still have left and how many people you will meet and experiences you will have! Thank you so much, that really helps there is someone out there going through the same as me.
oracle Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Be happy you are doing this now when you are very young. You are in your prime and still innocent and will get to experience many things still. My first and only love last from 19 till 35. Its harder at this age when you don't know anything else.
Natasha94 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 So you still talk to him? Well i do.. But I never ask about him, I mean I just reply because I'm not good at ignoring people and I can't hold grudges. And I don't like him to believe that I'm so torn because of the breakup to a point that I can't speak to him (even though it's the case).. but I also get to see him a lot because we have our studies in the same university.. but I tend to ignore him and pretend I didn't see him, or I'm just so busy talking and laughing with my friends (childish I know, but it's the only thing I can do.. I hate admitting I'm weak) Sometimes he brings up stuff from the past or mentions his feelings i change the subject right away, because I know it's going to lead nowhere. It's impossible to be together, and I'm not the one who created the problem.. trust me.. Although, if you have enough strength and will to go on nc.. I think I would recommend it..
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