paigej91 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 (edited) Tomorrow I'm seeing a guy I used to be date, but we kind of stopped seeing each other because I started asking if he was thinking about taking things to the next level, and he sort-of got distant (and me, frustrated). We went on several dates (like, 10-14) earlier in the year and didn't end on bad terms, but things just started to slow down once the question of whether or not we should be serious came into play. So tomorrow I'm going to see him after not seeing him in about 3.5 months (though we did text occasionally), and I certainly don't have any expectations, but if the mood was still the same, is there any chance this could work out or is it doomed since it was a little shaky the first time around? And if it isn't doomed, what can I do to increase the chances of it working out? I'll be honest, I'm kind of hoping this could work out since I genuinely feel physically and mentally/intellectually attracted to this guy, but I'm certainly not waiting or anything. I'd also enjoy his company as a friend too. Edited November 24, 2013 by paigej91
befriendlyplease Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Tomorrow I'm seeing a guy I used to be date, but we kind of stopped seeing each other because I started asking if he was thinking about taking things to the next level, and he sort-of got distant (and me, frustrated). We went on several dates (like, 10-14) earlier in the year and didn't end on bad terms, but things just started to slow down once the question of whether or not we should be serious came into play. So tomorrow I'm going to see him after not seeing him in about 3.5 months (though we did text occasionally), and I certainly don't have any expectations, but if the mood was still the same, is there any chance this could work out or is it doomed since it was a little shaky the first time around? And if it isn't doomed, what can I do to increase the chances of it working out? I'll be honest, I'm kind of hoping this could work out since I genuinely feel physically and mentally/intellectually attracted to this guy, but I'm certainly not waiting or anything. I'd also enjoy his company as a friend too. So you wanted a committed relationship but he wanted to just keep going on dates? Was he dating other people at the same time you two were dating? If you start dating again are you going to say that you expect a more serious relationship or see how things go?
Author paigej91 Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 (edited) So you wanted a committed relationship but he wanted to just keep going on dates? Was he dating other people at the same time you two were dating? If you start dating again are you going to say that you expect a more serious relationship or see how things go? I think (key word) that's what was going on. He once told me when things were getting serious he wasn't seeing anyone else, and I don't think he'd lie. But who really knows. And to answer your question, I would say the former. He paid for me today when we went out, and our bill (with the appetizer and drinks was ~$45). In fact, there's really never been a time he's let me pay, even when I offer/insist. Edited November 25, 2013 by paigej91
befriendlyplease Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 He paid for me today when we went out, and our bill (with the appetizer and drinks was ~$45). In fact, there's really never been a time he's let me pay, even when I offer/insist. That's nice. I think (key word) that's what was going on. He once told me when things were getting serious he wasn't seeing anyone else, and I don't think he'd lie. But who really knows. And to answer your question, I would say the former. If you do things the same way, they could progress the same way. I think if you want the relationship to progress differently you'll need to tell him that clearly. I was going on dates with someone a while ago and it never really became anything. Now, I wouldn't mind going on more dates with her, even if it didn't lead to anything else. How would you feel if you just ended up going on dates but nothing came of it? 1
mikecr50 Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Go out a few times, ask him what he wants what he's looking for just not sounding like an ultimatum, I know that can be hard to do best saved for face to face so you can judge reaction! It will work if you both want the same thing :-)
Brown-Eyez Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 Tomorrow I'm seeing a guy I used to be date, but we kind of stopped seeing each other because I started asking if he was thinking about taking things to the next level, and he sort-of got distant (and me, frustrated). We went on several dates (like, 10-14) earlier in the year and didn't end on bad terms, but things just started to slow down once the question of whether or not we should be serious came into play. So tomorrow I'm going to see him after not seeing him in about 3.5 months (though we did text occasionally), and I certainly don't have any expectations, but if the mood was still the same, is there any chance this could work out or is it doomed since it was a little shaky the first time around? And if it isn't doomed, what can I do to increase the chances of it working out? I'll be honest, I'm kind of hoping this could work out since I genuinely feel physically and mentally/intellectually attracted to this guy, but I'm certainly not waiting or anything. I'd also enjoy his company as a friend too. First, awesome for you for showing such restraint and just letting the relationship die out the way it did..if I had feelings for someone I could never do that! I would want to know why there was a shift. So its good you can play it so cool! Sadly though actions speak way louder than words! His actions are showing that he can take your or leave you.. His behavior is not showing that he wants a long-term serious relationship with you, but just merely "dating"
Author paigej91 Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 First, awesome for you for showing such restraint and just letting the relationship die out the way it did..if I had feelings for someone I could never do that! I would want to know why there was a shift. So its good you can play it so cool! How is any of this inferred through what I wrote?
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