mearl20 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 This guy from high school recently contacted me on facebook. We were never friends in hs and he was a "popular" jock guy who I thought didn't even know who I was. When he messaged me, he told me he has a new job in a town next to my college town, and he travels here a lot for his job. He said he wanted to hang out and so we set a night where we would meet up and go out with my friends to the bars. He kept texting me every other day saying he was bored so he was texting me. But he would ask about my day and we'd chat about my classes, his family, what we were up to, we argued about our school rivalry, pretty much anything. He would sometimes tease me and we'd banter back and forth however, he asked a couple times if he was going to meet my sorority friends, so I thought he might've just been talking to me to meet my friends or for me to set him up. I also thought he could be using me for a place to stay or just wanted to have friends since he doesn't know anyone in his new town. I didn't think much of it though and didn't care. Last night, just as planned, we met up and he stayed on my couch. At first, he was pretty friendly to everyone, talking about old hs memories, chatting with my friends and occasionally teasing me about something. As the night progressed, and a few drinks in, he started flirting with me more and became kind of touchy feely. He was kind of flirty with my friends as well but would find a reason to touch me. For example, when I felt sick from stupidly drinking too much, he kept grabbing my neck/head and would ask if I was ok, then rub/pat my back or squeeze my knee and thigh once. Then later on, he started putting his arm around me. When another guy came up and kept saying "you're gorgeous" over and over, I told him to save me, jokingly and he put his head on mine to say that the guy was creepy instead of just normally whispering in my ear. Then to help me out, he said we were going to go dance, and he pulled me away from the guy. He did dance with me too. He paid for almost all of my drinks and my friends drinks until I insisted to buy him a drink. Then on our way home he held my hand the whole way. When we got home, he didn't make a move and we just went to bed, so maybe he was just acting on his drunk thoughts. When I went to the bathroom with some of my friends at one bar, they all said he was extremely cute and that he's way into me. They kept saying it was obvious and everyone agreed he seemed into me. Then later, they texted asking if anything happened, like they thought for sure something would, which nothing did. When he had to leave for work, he just said thanks and hugged me then left, so I think he was just acting on his drunken thoughts. I did have a thing with his best friend in the summer and he asked me if I was still talking to him, which I'm not. He was shocked then said he didn't know what was up with his friend. But before, when I first "remet" him and his friend (last January) he was the one who pointed me out and told his friend to ask if we all went to hs together. Also, when I thought he didn't know who I was in hs, he was joking with my friends saying "what did you do to her? She was all sweet and innocent in high school". It's not a huge deal but it's weird he remembered who I was when we never talked at all and he was "popular" I was just a random face in the crowd. So, I'm not sure his intentions and I'm confused? Is he into me or was he using me to get with my friends or for a drunken hookup (even tho he knows I'm still pretty innocent)? Sorry this is so long! I'm just extremely confused and don't want to be used by someone! Thank you!
Balzac Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 How exactly was the stay on your couch negotiated. How old is this guy ?
Author mearl20 Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 He's 23 and he asked if he could stay on my couch or if he should get a hotel so I let him stay on my couch.
Fluttershy Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 I had a friend once tell me that when they were drunk they were more honest then when they were sober. It was after I questioned something that was said or done. Drinking lowers inhibitions and often allows people to act on their secret desires. Or things they normally would not because they "know better" or are scared of rejection. How do you feel about him?
Author mearl20 Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 I've heard that before too but then some people have said that guys get beer goggles so someone they don't normally like is attractive to them only when drunk, so idk it makes me question his behavior. I do like him, he's cute and has a great personality, someone I could see myself with. It's funny because back in high school, I had the biggest crush on him. It was obviously a distant crush since we never talked. I forgot about him when I went to college and now here he is, popping back up. I'm also trying to keep my distance so I won't fall hard and get hurt (happens every time with me). So I like him and think it would be nice to date him but I don't want to get my hopes up if he really is not into me.
Fluttershy Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Beer goggles are more honest. They show someone who wants sex with anyone and who doesn't care about other people's opinion of their chosen target. I know a guy who picked up a girl who was "not his type" from the bar. He is married to her now because he really did hit it off with her. I don't know if that makes sense or not? Do as you said and just take it one moment at a time. But don't be afraid to show him your interested. Love is about taking chances!
Author mearl20 Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 Yeah that is true! I would've never thought something like that could work out! But that makes sense, so it is still revealing their inner feelings? And that's a good idea. I guess every time I take a chance it seems like it never works out. With this guys best friend for instance, he seemed to really like me, I told him i liked him, it looked like we were going to start dating then out of nowhere he stopped talking to me. I was heartbroken. This also happened with another guy a year earlier. So I guess it's hard putting myself out there because it seems I always get hurt. But with this guy, I think I'll take it a step at a time and just go with the flow, like you said. Thanks!
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