bafflio Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Hi, So I met this girl and we went out on two dates so far. I will be seeing her again tomorrow for a third one. On the first date I held her hand and told her i was interested in her. She was giggling saying it was unexpected - I had a good vibe. On the second date I asked her how she felt about me - and she said she thought I was a good guy but wanted to take it slow. I told her I want to make sure we are more than friends. She told me that she had a bad experience with her previous bf (I knew him somewhat - not very well. he, she and I were in a same class in university once). She wants to take it slow, I don't. I will respect her wishes but I don't want this to go too slow. When is the right time to make the move? When to kiss her, and when to ask her to be my gf? I know it depends on the cues and circumstances but I feel like beyond the third date it would be getting a bit late.. no?
Greenberet Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 It's not too late at or past the third date at all, why are you in such a rush? You have to respect her wishes on it.
Author bafflio Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 I am not in a hurry - I just want to make sure I don't come off as too slow. Even if she says she wants to take it slow I don't want to take it TOO slow. It's hard to know though when. 1
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Only option is to observe how she is toward you and wait for your moment. If you truly like her character and you are attracted to her then you will do this until you start to win her heart and her trust...
todreaminblue Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 when i say take it slow i normally mean no sex no making love and easy on the physical side until married that is my idea of slow.holdign hands cuddling kissing .....mostly g rated because if i am into someone and go further than g rated kissing it escalates pretty quickly.....i love kissing........well.....its hard to stop i enjoy lovemaking and dont want to test my will power with someone i care about so i go slow on the physical..not the emotional side of commitment and exclusivity dating ab dneign attracted to someone is rare for me so i tend to move fast on emotional commitment ....clarify what she means by slow.....deb
ibleedblackandred Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 I would say just be honest with your feelings and keep the communication open. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel and ensure that you listen to how she is feeling. Body language tells a lot too! Good luck!!
carhill Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 She wants to take it slow, I don't. I will respect her wishes but I don't want this to go too slow. When is the right time to make the move? When to kiss her, and when to ask her to be my gf? If you don't want to 'take it slow', don't. Just as she is entitled to date a compatible person, so are you. Romantic relationships work when both people are on the same page. This can be known as 'timing', relevant to 'compatibility'. If/when you want to kiss her, when you feel like it, do it. If she's not on the same page, smile and move on. At your age, it's normal to date, and kiss, many young ladies. More information is good information.
paigej91 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 I'm going to go against the grain of many on this site and say a 3rd date without a kiss is fine. I didn't kiss my ex boyfriend until the 5th date, and sex didn't come in until wayyy later. She could really be interested and being honest. But like you said, she may just be saying that to be "nice" so ask her straight-up and directly if she has any feelings. If you tell her it's okay for her to say she doesn't have any feelings and that you'd prefer it, she'll feel "safer" being honest.
thembones Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 I had a "take it slow" girl. We did just that and took it slow. Even that was not enough, because she was emotionally unavailable. I asked her to be my gf and she said that she was not ready for that and we should still take it slow. Going into the relationship, she knew I wanted more and I knew she wanted to take it slow. The idea was to take it slow and date until she was ready for something more. She never got there and honestly I don't know how long I could have handled it. It may be a lost cause if she is still holding onto feelings from hurt of a past guy. Good luck. 1
thembones Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Just be ready for rejection if you try to kiss her, or if you ask to kiss her. It all depends on the moment though so you have to be the judge.
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