Jules78 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I can't cope today. I'm crying at the drop of a hat and my stomach hurts. I can't stop picturing them together happy and smiling while I'm miserable. It's been two weeks and 2 days since I heard from him. On that day and the days preceding, he said he wanted to get back together and I am the only woman he's ever truly cared about. He said he'd wait forever for me and he'd do anything to prove to me how much he loved me and wanted me and me only. There's so many more things he said that make it impossible to understand how he decided to go NC that same day (didn't tell me he was he just disappeared) and 2 weeks later I discover he has a FB page I knew nothing about and he's now "in a relationship" with this woman beginning on the same day he went no contact. . I can only assume that why we were working through our problems (we broke up 3 weeks prior because of something he'd done and I was trying to recover from that). So now since he's gone and refused to talk to me at all I have to assume that he met her while we were supposedly working together through what happened and trying to salvage our relationship. What hurts the most is his cutting me out after 2 1/2 years together, learning there's someome else so quickly that I'm assuming he lined up just in case and that he had posted on his page that he was the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. That hurt. How did he go from head over heels in love with me to over it and done so quickly? I'm suffering and he's having the time of his life apparently and could careless that I ever existed. I hate repeating this story in parts because I've said most of it here before. For whatever reason I needed to get it out today because I'm having a really terrible time with it all.
Iguanna Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Oh honey I'm sorry for you feeling this way. I have no idea why he said these things. Was he maybe trying to take revenge cause you asked for the break? The best thing you can do is get angry with his behavior, cry, shout, have a friend come over and analyze stuff, make her yell at you for being sad for him while he was a jerk and then put an end to this suffering. Do not think about him being happy. You got to think of you being happy, you and your kid. You are so lucky that you have your kid, some women would kill to have a kid themselves. Look at the positive things. Do something for yourself. He has shown with his behavior that the words he said were only this: words. Do you really want a man who can only say words and not turn them into actions? You deserve better and you'll find it. Hang in there. 2
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Sorry you are feeling this way today. I had days like this about 4-6 months ago. I could barely function some days and I hated it. It does get better, and my advise is block his facebook page so you cannot see it at all. Try to cut all ties and keep your distance from him as it will make all this much harder for you. What did he do wrong? to cause the break 2
Janni Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I can't cope today. I'm crying at the drop of a hat and my stomach hurts. I can't stop picturing them together happy and smiling while I'm miserable. It's been two weeks and 2 days since I heard from him. On that day and the days preceding, he said he wanted to get back together and I am the only woman he's ever truly cared about. He said he'd wait forever for me and he'd do anything to prove to me how much he loved me and wanted me and me only. There's so many more things he said that make it impossible to understand how he decided to go NC that same day (didn't tell me he was he just disappeared) and 2 weeks later I discover he has a FB page I knew nothing about and he's now "in a relationship" with this woman beginning on the same day he went no contact. . I can only assume that why we were working through our problems (we broke up 3 weeks prior because of something he'd done and I was trying to recover from that). So now since he's gone and refused to talk to me at all I have to assume that he met her while we were supposedly working together through what happened and trying to salvage our relationship. What hurts the most is his cutting me out after 2 1/2 years together, learning there's someome else so quickly that I'm assuming he lined up just in case and that he had posted on his page that he was the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. That hurt. How did he go from head over heels in love with me to over it and done so quickly? I'm suffering and he's having the time of his life apparently and could careless that I ever existed. I hate repeating this story in parts because I've said most of it here before. For whatever reason I needed to get it out today because I'm having a really terrible time with it all. Hey Jules. I am so very sorry to hear what you're going through. My situation is very much like yours - Together 6 years, he dumped me, then told me everything you ex told you, then I found out he was seeing someone else WHILE working on things with me and now I've been NC for 2 months. It hurts so unbeliably much and I am really sorry you have to go through this, but there's no other way. You have to go through the storm. You need to begin by accepting the situation - Cry you eyes out, stay in bed every day for a week or two. It took me two weeks in bed, almost without eating, losing a loot of weight and crying my eyes out constantly. But it's necessary for your healing. When you feel like it, begin to go out again. Just start by going to work/school. Then try to ad some social events. But nothing big. It takes time. After 2 months I feel so much better than just a month ago, and I know, based on LS, that I've healed remarkably well compared to many others. For the first 3 weeks I kept picturing my ex with her. Them having sex, kissing, doing all the things I used to do with him, him calling her beautiful and all the things he used to call me. I basically pictured our entire RS with her in my spot. Then I realised, their RS might not be perfect. Maybe she's whiny, she's demanding, maybe he's feeling horrible or realizing what he lost in me. This helped me a lot. Yes, your ex my be saying he's having the time of his life - But wouldn't you say so too, if he asked? Just to make him jealous? And would you ever post it on fb if you were feeling horrible? The picturing them together won't go away any time soon. I'm sorry to say that. But at some point it will hurt less and less. And in the end you wont even bother to think about it. For now: Let yourself mourn your loss. You've lost a loved one. It's okay to cry. It's okay to stay in bed and eat nothing but icecream all day. It takes time and you won't heal until you've mourned your loss. Stop contacting your ex. Stop expecting him to contact you. I know this sounds harsh, but you need to kill all hope you've got. Look at it this way; If you keep telling yourself, he'll regret and come back, but he never does, it will be worse, than if you tell yourself he never comes back and then he actually does. And if he doesn't come back, you'll also be better off if you've told yourself he wouldn't. Finally; You should keep using LS. It's a great place and we're here to help. 2
Jenny1234 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Try to step back and out of your head and the situation. I'm in a similar situation after 6 months post BU......let go and let the universe. That's all you can do. I know it's so hard but you can't control everything. Day to day... Hour to hour 1
AnyaNova Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Go to the gym, go for a run, go to a kickboxing class, something. When my life feels out of control, there is this almost mystical thing that happens while I'm on the elliptical machines. It is like I am elevated, and I am above all the turmoil in my life and its handleable. I know it's hard. I know it hurts the worst. The sooner you take control actively of some small thing, the better it will feel. Exercise makes a wonderful first step, because it also increases good things like Serotonin and Dopamine and other feel good chemicals. Hope you feel better soon. 2
Shaine Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 What helped me after the breakup is writing about the things i hate about him. I justified why our relationship wouldnt work, and why i dont want to end up marrying him. It's obvious that his new girl is a rebound. I doubt they would last. Just focus on yourself first. You deserve a much better guy. Maybe it's a good thing that you two broke up, coz now you know what an insensitive jerk he is. You deserve a guy who will be loyal to you. Go NC. He will realize what he's missing. 3
JoelBarish Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I can't cope today. I'm crying at the drop of a hat and my stomach hurts. I can't stop picturing them together happy and smiling while I'm miserable. It's been two weeks and 2 days since I heard from him. On that day and the days preceding, he said he wanted to get back together and I am the only woman he's ever truly cared about. He said he'd wait forever for me and he'd do anything to prove to me how much he loved me and wanted me and me only. There's so many more things he said that make it impossible to understand how he decided to go NC that same day (didn't tell me he was he just disappeared) and 2 weeks later I discover he has a FB page I knew nothing about and he's now "in a relationship" with this woman beginning on the same day he went no contact. . I can only assume that why we were working through our problems (we broke up 3 weeks prior because of something he'd done and I was trying to recover from that). So now since he's gone and refused to talk to me at all I have to assume that he met her while we were supposedly working together through what happened and trying to salvage our relationship. What hurts the most is his cutting me out after 2 1/2 years together, learning there's someome else so quickly that I'm assuming he lined up just in case and that he had posted on his page that he was the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. That hurt. How did he go from head over heels in love with me to over it and done so quickly? I'm suffering and he's having the time of his life apparently and could careless that I ever existed. I hate repeating this story in parts because I've said most of it here before. For whatever reason I needed to get it out today because I'm having a really terrible time with it all. It's hard for you right now, believe me I know your pain. Be thankful he isn't contacting you. The worst thing for him to do would be to keep contacting you and leading you on with false hope. The only thing that is really going to help you is NC and waiting out your pain. But as Anya said there are a lot of ways to keep your mind off things and physical activity especially will help lift your mood. Also keep posting here, it helps to let it all out. There is a reason I have almost 500 posts in 2 months. 3
Author Jules78 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Sorry you are feeling this way today. I had days like this about 4-6 months ago. I could barely function some days and I hated it. It does get better, and my advise is block his facebook page so you cannot see it at all. Try to cut all ties and keep your distance from him as it will make all this much harder for you. What did he do wrong? to cause the break We had taken a "break" a month prior. While on that break he slept with his ex the entire time. 2 weeks, every day. I broke up with him when I found out (almost 3 weeks later). That's why he was trying to get me back. Because he f'd up. He told his ex he loved her during that time as well. Ugh.
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 sounds as though you are better off without this one ... 2
Author Jules78 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 sounds as though you are better off without this one ... My head knows that but my heart hasn't caught on yet. 1
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Yes! I know that feeling... it sucks. I guess we got to experience some bad ones in order for us to appreciate the ONE...to help us see it when it is right there. 1
me85 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) Hey Jules, I'm so very sorry girly I'm in the same boat as you (my ex wasn't seeing his ex as far as I know) but he did jump into a relationship with someone extremely quickly (few days) after telling me "we were meant to be" My only concern is he slept with me while in this other "relationship" (which has been FB official for almost 3 weeks now-I'm blocked, found out through mutual friend), he lied so many times about not seeing anyone (to my face) and now I'm really worried he could have giving me an STD as this girl is trashy looking. He's gross. He definitely down-graded. oh & he doesn't wrap up YUK so I am freaking out. Please take care of yourself and know that you have this forum we are hear to listen and help you. You WILL get over this Jules. HUGS Edited November 23, 2013 by me85
Author Jules78 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Hey Jules, I'm so very sorry girly I'm in the same boat as you (my ex wasn't seeing his ex as far as I know) but he did jump into a relationship with someone extremely quickly (few days) after telling me "we were meant to be" My only concern is he slept with me while in this other "relationship" (which has been FB official for almost 3 weeks now-I'm blocked, found out through mutual friend), he lied so many times about not seeing anyone (to my face) and now I'm really worried he could have giving me an STD as this girl is trashy looking. He's gross. He definitely down-graded. oh & he doesn't wrap up YUK so I am freaking out. Please take care of yourself and know that you have this forum we are hear to listen and help you. You WILL get over this Jules. HUGS Thank you! And same here! I didn't find out he'd been sleeping with her until after we we're back at it. We slept together many times after that and yeah she wasn't much of a looker either. Ick. No wrapping over here either. Disgusting! I hate that were going through this shizz but I am glad I found you.
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