A month later and I'm somewhat better, but I still can't stop thinking about her.

[mtl767]

This is my first post so bear with me! Here's my story. So my ex girlfriend and I had dated for 3 years and we were high school sweethearts, we are both 19. Nothing could keep us apart and we were so in love. However, during this past summer things began to change, she was distant and reluctant to hang out with me because she could only focus on her retail job. During the fall, college made matters worse and we were constantly fighting because I was upset about never getting to see her and the time we did each other consisted of her being distant.

 

During the beginning of October after another fight, she was going to break up with me, but I convinced her not to. Then after that I thought things were going to be okay, but exactly a week later she said we needed a break. I was a wreck of course and did all of the things you aren't supposed to do. However, at the end of October I gave up and stopped talking to her and didn't talk to her until I sent her a birthday wish in the middle of November. To make matters worse we both work together and I see her flirting and spending time with another guy and it drives me crazy. So I have to try to keep my cool at work, but it's one of the most difficult things ever.

 

I'm in the process of a getting a new job, but I still have to deal with her for a few more weeks. She seems like she's really into this new guy who is younger than me, but she's the type of girl who always has to be a relationship, so I don't know if she's concealing her feelings. However, she seems like she's really happy and while I'm glad she is, it just sucks that I can't be the one to make her happy, as selfish as that sounds. I'm trying to keep my distance right now, but I can't stop thinking about her and I do want to reconnect because I do think we're good for each other.

 

Right now though, I am letting go and doing my own thing and trying to get myself back on my feet. I realize that my happiness isn't defined by her, it's defined by me and my family and friends who will be there for me no matter what. When do you guys think I should contact her though? Should I just leave her alone for a few months? Do you think she still cares? I really appreciate you guys being here for me and I thank you for listening to my story. Any input is great!

Edited November 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Kizza]

Sorry it seems your relationship is over, being in contact with her right now will make it tougher on you so I suggest get the new job and focus on yourself.

[mtl767]

Thank you for your response! I know I'm young and I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. I honestly think I just miss the idea of being in a relationship and not her. While it was amazing for the most part for 2 and a half years, the last few months have really made me realize that both of us have some serious growing up to do. I do want her to be happy, but it's still fresh right now so it's difficult seeing being so much happier (at least on the surface) with someone else.

[Kizza]

Well it is a big deal. You were high-school sweethearts... it makes sense you feel the way you do and I think it is important to go through the process of feeling how you do. If you contact her though it will magnify it and prolong it which is just bestowing extra torture upon yourself.

[mtl767]

You're right. We've only had a few casual conversations, where we've bumped into each other which went alright. I have had a few girlfriends before her, but they weren't nearly as significant as this relationship was. I do consider her my first love, so this experience is giving me perspective that I really hadn't had before. Being this young is impossible to know for sure where a high school relationship will end up taking you. People change.