TooEmotional Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 First of all, thanks for reading this. Don't want to bore you with my life story, but kind of need to give a bit of background here as it's an important part of why I'm feeling the way I am. So, here goes... I'm 24 now. When I was 17, I got with an older guy, became pregnant, and stayed with him for 6 years (so until a year ago). Throughout the relationship, he did some things that really hurt me a lot, but I was too scared to leave as I was still only a teenager and had never lived alone before, let alone with a child. And we talked about this, so he was well aware. In fact, even before the relationship, I'd always hated being alone, and I never thought I would be strong enough to be. Anyway, a year ago, at the age of 23, I finally found the strength to leave. I did so and got my own place, and although it was scary, I was feeling good about the situation. Until I messed it up... I messed it up big time. I got with a guy about a month into living on my own. It was supposed to just be a bit of fun and I was sure that I didn't want a relationship as it was too soon. But as time went on, he began to tell me he had strong feelings for me, and eventually told me that he loved me. So I let myself fall for him. Anyway, a year into the relationship, he tells me he has fallen out of love with me and that I should move on. I'm so so sad, hurt, angry with myself, etc. Can't top crying, can't sleep, don't want to eat, can't concentrate on anything. I'm so mad at myself. It took years for me to feel like I would be fine alone, and now I feel like I will never be fine with it, or that it will take years again. Also, I don't have many friends, so spend a lot of time thinking about it on my own. Feel like such an idiot. So alone. Thanks for reading, think I just needed to get it out there.
willpower654 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Wow. Number one priority has to be the child here. Guys are going to come and go especially when it seems you aren't picking the right ones. Take this time as a blessing, to really figure out who YOU are. And really do things for you and your child. It seems you really have to increase your self-esteem here asap! Seriously, take it day by day, make some big goals for yourself, school work etc..and everytime you think of the guy just remind yourself you are on a path right now to bettering your life. Don't let any new guys take you off that path either. Trust me, did that and five years later still in school because I allowed men to affect my life.
Iguanna Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Calm down and think that you are not alone at this. We have all had tough break ups, people who made us feel bad, people who we loved and they didn't love us back etc. It's only natural that you are in pain. What made things worse was that you didn't have the time to learn to enjoy yourself by your own, learn what you like to do, your hobbies, what makes you happy, what entertains you. Calm down, you are very young to get that frustrated about a jerk first boyfriend and a second who was at least honest enough to inform you that he doesn't love you anymore. You have a life ahead of you, you got a kid to care for and I'm sure your kid wants to see his/her mom happy. Concentrate on your kid and on learning yourself, introducing you to yourself. Try to find some hobby, go to the gym, you'll meet people there. Maybe you can start some education also, learn a new language, participate in volunteering team etc. The pain you are feeling now will go eventually and it will become EXPERIENCE in life. This is how we get wiser in life, through things that hurt us. Be strong for your kid and things will get better soon.
nevergoodenough Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 First of all, thanks for reading this. Don't want to bore you with my life story, but kind of need to give a bit of background here as it's an important part of why I'm feeling the way I am. So, here goes... I'm 24 now. When I was 17, I got with an older guy, became pregnant, and stayed with him for 6 years (so until a year ago). Throughout the relationship, he did some things that really hurt me a lot, but I was too scared to leave as I was still only a teenager and had never lived alone before, let alone with a child. And we talked about this, so he was well aware. In fact, even before the relationship, I'd always hated being alone, and I never thought I would be strong enough to be. Anyway, a year ago, at the age of 23, I finally found the strength to leave. I did so and got my own place, and although it was scary, I was feeling good about the situation. Until I messed it up... I messed it up big time. I got with a guy about a month into living on my own. It was supposed to just be a bit of fun and I was sure that I didn't want a relationship as it was too soon. But as time went on, he began to tell me he had strong feelings for me, and eventually told me that he loved me. So I let myself fall for him. Anyway, a year into the relationship, he tells me he has fallen out of love with me and that I should move on. I'm so so sad, hurt, angry with myself, etc. Can't top crying, can't sleep, don't want to eat, can't concentrate on anything. I'm so mad at myself. It took years for me to feel like I would be fine alone, and now I feel like I will never be fine with it, or that it will take years again. Also, I don't have many friends, so spend a lot of time thinking about it on my own. Feel like such an idiot. So alone. Thanks for reading, think I just needed to get it out there. I dont have many friends either, you can text me at 8324296826 if you need someone to talk to. I'm going through an equally horrible situation, so I know how you feel. It's better to have taken the chance and loved that person than to have never known what would have happened though. Just don't speak to him and allow him to have a life without you. If you do that, maybe he will miss you.
Author TooEmotional Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 Thanks you everyone, it's appreciated. You're right, my focus has to be on my daughter. It's just really hard to put on a brave face, have to keep wondering off to the other room to cry. Her dad has her for some of the week, so on the days that he does, I will try to get out in the evenings (have no clue where yet!). I'm studying at university at the moment, in my final year, so trying to find things there to do, but it's hard (why do students have to be so damn happy all the time!) lol. Thanks Nevergoodenough (feels weird calling you that!), but I'm in England so will cost a bomb and I have like no money at the moment! But thanks and I hope you're ok too
Author TooEmotional Posted November 26, 2013 Author Posted November 26, 2013 But if you want to message me on here, then do (so much easier to smile online!)
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