He convinced me how great a relationship we had and dumped me at the same time

[Waterlove11]

I'm just currently at a loss as to what to do. I was dating this really great guy for the last 6 months. We met last year in Croatia and dated for a few weeks before I had to return to the States. We ended things amicably and reasonably, but ended up staying in contact online. (he lives here in Croatia, while I work here part time and elsewhere in Europe, but I'm from the US). So it's been a bit of a long distance thing. The online thing ended up really well and our interest and trust for each other grew. So, I decided to return for work this last May and see if it was the same in real life or if it was just an online thing. It turns out it was really great. I've never laughed so much with anybody in my life. I fell into the cliche that "he makes me want to be a better person" and he truly does.

 

He's never been shy about his feelings for me. To be honest, it was something I've learned from him. I've always been horrible at explaining my emotions and saying what I want, but he's had such an honest policy about it, that I learned to trust him. Over the last 6 months, I had to leave for 2-4 weeks at a time, so we were constantly having these reunions, which were always great. And we kept in touch via text and online. But, it's unrealistic for a relationship, and I was curious to see how it would go being in the same town (for me in a foreign country where I am not fluent in the language). I've never pressed him to be in a long term committed relationship, I told him that I wanted to come back to see how things go and see if what we're doing and feeling could be something more. He agreed and was happy with that.

 

Until I showed up again in his town. He confessed he had kissed a girl 2 days before I came back. He was very clear he had no other interactions (and I believe him). He was confused he could feel emotions for two women. I honestly told him, that we hadn't decided to be exclusive since it was still long distance and the way I saw it, we were still getting into the dating side of things, since actual physical time spent together, still wasn't all that much. So, I gave him time to figure out what he wanted. So, now it turns out he doesn't want to date any women at all and he needs to fix himself first, but he can't imagine not having me in his life. He wants me to be happy and date another men, but he doesn't want to lose me because he wants a future between us. Well, that's not fair. He says it gray between us and that it is only a short time that we can't be together. To me, it's black and white and he doesn't want to be with me. But I can't stop thinking about him and can't even look at another man right now.

 

I told him I can't be friends, because I can't just suppress my feelings and pretend things never happened. But how can things just end? When he was breaking up with me he sat and told ME how great our relationship is and that neither if us ever stopped laughing. (Seriously, he still made me laugh after telling me had kissed a girl. It hurt, but I know he didn't want to hurt me and he confessed almost immediately after it had happened).

 

We are on good terms, but I haven't spoken with him for about 10 days or so. I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid to push or try to talk to him. He said himself "nothing went wrong and that I'm one of the good ones."

[Waterlove11]

Also, when I told him I would leave to go spend some time with friends im another town, he got really upset and sad. But, he ignored me while I was living in his town as in he wouldn't respond to my requests to see him. Unless, we ran into each other, then he would always walk with me or have a coffee or tell me how good I looked.