justagirlll Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Hi all, I could really use your help for some advice. So my bf broke up? with me 2 days ago. Basically everything was fine that day and at night when we were over at his place he started to tell me that he didnt find me attractive anymore that i dress bummy and don't take care of myself. he said i dont know how to take a joke either and that he has to convince himself that im still the same girl that he fell in love with. he said he just wants to be friends with me and breaking up will be hard but he just wants to be friends. i told him im still the same girl, i only dress in sweatpants sometimes when i have an exam and havent been getting sleep. i dont think he likes it that i dont wear too much makeup but seriously? i was like that even 2 yrs ago when we met. and some of the jokes he makes hurt me personally and are not funny and if i joke by splashing juice on him or something he gets mad and tells me to leave. we have fought a lot in the past few months bc the way he treats me sometimes is terrrible. howeer he's also told me that im the only one for him and that he loves me and cant ever break it off. that night he did say that he didnt think in the long run i was the one for him. i told him im still the same girl and love him immensely and that i cant just be friends, it'd be too hard. he said idk and that he'd have to think about it bc he loves me but is not longer attracted to me, like he doesnt even want to touch me. i was over his place that night and i slept over since it was late and we slept on the same bed but faced opposite ways. he wouldnt even touch me and i rolled over and hugged him from behind. in the middle of the night i whispered babe i love you in his ear and he just nodded. at one point in the night he turned off and hugged me from behind but i think he was just fast asleep. anyway when i woke up in the morning to go to class i whispered in his ear that i love him and breaking up is not the right thing for us. he was asleep so didnt say anything. for the rest of that day we didnt contact either each other and he went home. he sends me snapchats of things but he sends those to everyone. the thing about me is that he just made so many new friends recently so he's busy with them and doesnt miss me as much. the thing is that i love him more than anything and want to assure him that i am the girl for him. it's so hard not to contact him and idk if we are really even broken up or he just needs time to think. my plan was to not contact him right now unless he contacts me and to wait until sunday morning and text me that i want to assure him and lets talk for a bit when you come back to school (he comes back on sun). is that a good idea? do you think he'll contact me first-he is pretty busy this weekend? should i continue NC? thoughts please! i love him more than anything and want him back.
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 For him this relationship has run it's course. He's trying to put it into words but somehow he has figured out that you aren't the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. It sounds like he's a basically decent guy & he doesn't want to hurt you or see you in pain (hence the offer of friendship & the statements about loving you) but he also doesn't want to date you any more. The words he's giving you: that you aren't the same girl, that he's not attracted to you, that you wear sweats, that you can't take a joke -- those words don't mean as much as the fact that for him, he's already disconnected from you. Let him go. You need NC to start to heal so I'd at least block the social media: FB, Snapchat, Instagram etc.
Author justagirlll Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 but isn't there hope if he says he has to think about it? we've had many fights before and we've always gotten back and it's been good. should i at least try texting him bc i dont know if we're really broken up. all i think about is him and i want to make him happy, i will be the girl for him.
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 but isn't there hope if he says he has to think about it? we've had many fights before and we've always gotten back and it's been good. should i at least try texting him bc i dont know if we're really broken up. all i think about is him and i want to make him happy, i will be the girl for him. You are broken up. His poor word choice & seeming hesitance are not real. He wants out but isn't saying it clearly because he is trying to be kind. If you chase him, you will push him away not bring him closer. Your last sentence also indicates that this is not a good relationship. YOu can't make yourself into something you are not just to please another person. That is never a long term solution.
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