Author UCFKevin Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Well, it's different when you actually know the person and talk to them.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Still. Things can never be easy between us. Never have been. Schieza. But nevertheless...there is hope. There's always hope. Yup, don't give up hope and just let things play out as they will...Neither of you know what is around the corner but the signs are pointing in the right direction!
Author UCFKevin Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 It's just so damn WEIRD, you know? A pure chance meeting, and five years later, even though we haven't really done anything, the most has been kissing, and that's it, with such long breaks in contact, and there's stll that SOMETHING. It's impossible to ignore, it really is. Here are the scenarios: 1. Stay in California. Keep in touch with her. Maybe meet up someday, maybe not. Who knows. Always wonder "What if?" Or she moves out there with me. We end up together forever or we don't work out. At least it was tried. 2. Go back to Florida. Back to my family and friends and her. We work out, I stick around, or maybe we both move out again to LA someday. Or it doesn't work out and I go back to LA. Pain in the ass, sure, but it could be worth it. Life's boring without taking these sorts of chances. I suppose, logically, #2 is the better option, but still...I love LA...I really do. I dunno. I think I'll give it some time. Talk to her about it. See how she feels. I can't make her think it's her or LA, because that's too much pressure on her, I don't want her to feel like that.
alphamale Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin Here are the scenarios: 1. Stay in California. Keep in touch with her. Maybe meet up someday, maybe not. Who knows. Always wonder "What if?" Or she moves out there with me. We end up together forever or we don't work out. At least it was tried. 2. Go back to Florida. Back to my family and friends and her. We work out, I stick around, or maybe we both move out again to LA someday. Or it doesn't work out and I go back to LA. Pain in the ass, sure, but it could be worth it. Life's boring without taking these sorts of chances. I suppose, logically, #2 is the better option I vote for #1. A real MAN does not give up his hopes and dreams to be with some female. You think she will respect you more if you pack yer bags and move back to FLA? I highly doubt it. If she wants to be with you she needs to make the sacrifice and move to LA. If you give up your career aspirations in LA you will look like a floundering doofus who could not cut it. A man is defined by himself first, career second and his woman third.
tiki Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 But alpha, it won't matter how good he 'looks' if she's nowhere around to see him. You're cracking me up.
alphamale Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by tiki But alpha, it won't matter how good he 'looks' if she's nowhere around to see him. You're cracking me up. his career aspirations are a relatively known quanity. anything could happen with the girl. so a possible scenario is he moves to FLA and things don't work out with the girl and he has lost a few years and has to move bak to LA with his tail between his legs and start over. that is BS man anyways, if he makes it big in LA there will be gorgeous honies all over him. he needs to worry about himself and his career first in this situation. women (or men) are eventually replaceable, a career is not.
LiveLoveLaugh Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale his career aspirations are a relatively known quanity. anything could happen with the girl. so a possible scenario is he moves to FLA and things don't work out with the girl and he has lost a few years and has to move bak to LA with his tail between his legs and start over. that is BS man anyways, if he makes it big in LA there will be gorgeous honies all over him. he needs to worry about himself and his career first in this situation. women (or men) are eventually replaceable, a career is not. i hate it when Alpha makes sense
moimeme Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 I have to agree about the career vs relationship. This isn't a long-established relationship where you know that you'd be missing out on the best thing that ever happened to you. Right now, it's all speculation fueled, as Midori suggests, by a lot of that early-passion stuff. If the girl is sufficiently interested, she'll hang in for an LDR for a while. In fact, I'd say that'd be a test of how important you really are to her. If she can't be bothered to try this while allowing you time to try to establish yourself, then she's not as taken with you as you hope.
bluetuesday Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 hi kevin i also think alpha is right. you said yourself that if you gave up your career you would be giving up what you truly want to do. and while this girl may be wonderful, adorable and perfect for you, the way to find that out is to start a friendship with her, see if there's enough to build a relationship and take it from there. lust, which is all that 'weird feeling' you describe really is, won't last. so you fancied the ass off her five years ago and you still do. part of the reason you still do may be that you haven't got to know her yet. in any case, lust is not enough to cash in your dreams for. if she's someone you can genuinely build a life with she'll realise the investment you've already made in LA and back you in fulfilling your career ambitions. if she won't do this you have your answer. good luck man.
whichwayisup Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 Well alpha, sure your head is swellin' no, not THAT one, but if it is, good for ya! LOL! I still think that this girl and Kev are gonna hook up and it is just a matter of time, circumstances and the moons, stars lined up. Or until one caves and says f*** it and hops on a plane and BOOM, end of story. Call me a hopeless romantic, but when there is this much between two people after 5 years something has to give.
bluetuesday Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 what 'much'? a glance, some emails, a couple of snogs and a weird feeling? come on whichway! they may very well get together, be blissfully happy and walk off into the sunset but right now all that is fantasy. to give up something real for a daydream would be nuts.
Merin Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 How did I miss this thread.. crap! I've been moving.. Kevin.. You know sometimes I really believe you meet people that are meant to be in your life forever.. regardless of how the relationship starts or the seperation(s) you may endure.. you come back together and it always seems like home. LDR suck (IMO) I've been there and it's lonely.. BUT LDR CAN and DO work when the 2 people involved CHOOSE to make things work.. In my situation, I was the only one putting in the effort, and there wasn't an end in sight.. YOU can CHOOSE to persue this Kevin.. YOU can CHOOSE to work on this.. because honestly it sounds like she's worth the effort.. and because while you don't want to wonder IF you could have had your dream career.. you also don't want to wonder IF you could've been happy with her.. Talk to her Kevin! Tell her how you're feeling.. don't push her to move there, or talk yourself into moving back to Florida right now.. INSTEAD find ways to work things out for a LDR.. find ways to talk and be close.. spend time when you can.. choose an END when the two of you will be together so there is a goal.. Be happy Sweetie.. don't let go of either dream...
moimeme Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Be happy Sweetie.. don't let go of either dream... Yep. My philosophy is to choose 'all of the above' whenver you possibly can.
Author UCFKevin Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 ...which is what I'm officially going to do. I decided to move back to Florida for a little while. It's not just for her, though she plays a big part of it. It's quite rough living out here and I'm just about at the lowest point I've ever been in my entire life, so the way I figure it, I go back to Florida for a few months, maybe longer maybe shorter, who knows, regroup myself and get my act together, which should've happened BEFORE moving to LA, make money and save it up, which I didn't do before, take some acting classes and get new headshots in Florida where they'll be a HELL of a lot cheaper than in California, date the girl to see if anything works out, if it does, and I move back to California, she goes with me or doesn't, or we do the long distance thing. If it goes sour, oh well. I tried. Won't be the end of the world and I'll move back to LA. No big deal, in the grand scheme of things. I just have to find out. I have to see what'll happen. Six months out of my life will not derail my dream of succeeding out here in Hollywood. I will be back. This isn't me giving up. I'm 24. I still have a lifetime ahead of me. And who knows, maybe this is the path I'm supposed to take. It's my gut feeling. I've asked to be shown the way from the Big Cheese above, and this is what I feel is...well...it's not the right thing to do, sadly, there is no right or wrong thing to do, but it's the smarter thing to do and I know that. I'm going next week. I'll stay with a friend for a while or the entire time, he said he doesn't mind at all and I'd even have my own room, and...this is where my ridiculous sense of romance takes place. I'll call the girl, act like I'm driving to some movie set in Los Angeles, go to her place, cover the receiver on my phone, knock on her door, and she'll answer the door while on the phone with me. Maybe have a rose in my free hand. Something like that. Like I said, if it doesn't go well, it'll make going back to LA a hell of a lot easier. So that's that. And BlueTuesday, how is going after potential true love any more daydreamy than going to Hollywood to live and succeed as an actor? Either way, any path I take, it's worth the risk. Dreams come true. Both of mine could. Time will tell.
midori Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 I hope it goes well. One thing, earlier in the thread you said this, in response to my observation that the guys I'd watched falling head over heels about someone they barely knew when they were at low points in their life: I'm not really low on life or yearning for change, hell, I've experienced the biggest change of my life recently, so it isn't that. I'd been thinking about that because of your remarks elsewhere, in this and in other threads, about how dismal the dating scene was in LA, etc. I wasn't suggesting that all aspects of your life in California weren't good. And now you're acknowledging that life hasn't been so easy in California. Which is understandable! I'm not suggesting that moving back to FL is a bad idea. Might be a very good idea. I'm not even suggesting that having this girl as one of your main reasons for moving back to FL is a bad idea. I'm just wondering if maybe part of her appeal is the fact that she's in a place that you were subconsciously thinking about returning to anyway. She gives that idea momentum. I don't think I'm doing a good job articulating this -- end of a long day for me. The only point I want to make, besides wishing you all the best, is that it's good to bear in mind that our feelings for people usually aren't entirely based on the people themselves, but also entail what they represent to us at a given point in our life. That doesn't render the feelings invalid or meaningless. But I think it's always a good idea to know where you're coming from and why. At least as much as one can. Anyway, good luck!
Author UCFKevin Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 Well, one can be at the lowest point in their life but still not be low on life. Low on life, to me, would be depression, something I'm not capabable of, so far anyhow. I've just experienced some pretty bad stuff and such, so...yeah. To be honest, I have no clue where I'd be mentally if I didn't see her when I went back. She is a big factor. Whatever happens...life's going to be pretty damn interesting in the next few months.
Naive Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Good Luck Kev Hope you get that girl. I am sure she is worth it.
Author UCFKevin Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 Me too. Regardless of the outcome....I'll be back.
Adunaphel Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Good luck, Kevin. The decision you made sounds a really good and sensible one. Please keep us posted.
Author UCFKevin Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 Thanks. Everyone but one is saying it's for the best and the smartest thing to do. My best friend is basically taking it upon himself to get me to stay and it's really quite bugging me, it's not easy for me to do this to begin with and he's not helping at all, he's making it harder. Very frustrating.
Merin Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Regardless IF it's the "best decision" or the "right decision" it's YOUR DECISION! Trust yourself to know what's right for YOU. Everything happens for a reason... I believe that. Best wishes and all the beautiful things for you Kevin in your journey.
FairyTail Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 If the career of your dreams in acting, writing movies and/or television shows, or directing, go home and be with your girl.
Author UCFKevin Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 Hollywood will always be here, ready and waiting for me to come back. She won't.
RowanRavyn Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Kev, Go you for following your gut,heart and instincts. It takes courage to do that. Somethings are much cheaper in FL as compaired to here in CA. Just because you are back there doesn't mean you get to be lazy about your career, it just means you regroup, get those inexpensive things (head shots, etc.)
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