whichwayisup Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 I know this will sound messed up, but I need to get my mind off things and I feel being with my MM will help and maybe this will be the last time I might be with him. Does your MM know this? Good luck..I mean that, I really hope you figure it out soon. Time to be on your own with no man and do some thinking. That means NC with MM completely and limited contact with your H, only deal with him when it has to do with your children. Not sure how being with your MM is helping, if anything it's just going to complicate your feelings.
mal0980 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Yes my 3 sons know my MM because he has a longtime friend to my family and also see him as an uncle. My husband doesn't know about the affair at all and neither does my MM's wife. I have told my MM recently that I want to end things between us and he told me he has been thinking about it. But one problem is that we both lawyers in the same firm because He and my father are partners and I am about to be made partner, if he and I do break it off can we be professional at work and be friends at family get togethers?
mal0980 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Also this affair is complicated because this affair has been going for 15 years on and off starting when I was 18 years old and I am 33 now. 1
leftfordead2 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Also this affair is complicated because this affair has been going for 15 years on and off starting when I was 18 years old and I am 33 now. Your profile pic looks familiar...
Sub Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Yes my 3 sons know my MM because he has a longtime friend to my family and also see him as an uncle. My husband doesn't know about the affair at all and neither does my MM's wife. I have told my MM recently that I want to end things between us and he told me he has been thinking about it. But one problem is that we both lawyers in the same firm because He and my father are partners and I am about to be made partner, if he and I do break it off can we be professional at work and be friends at family get togethers? You must be a very good lawyer. Your BS gets a hotel room to try to figure out how to fix the marriage, unaware of the A. You stay in the house with the kids and get Thanksgiving with them and your AP at your parents. I wish you guys the best in fixing things. 1
Sofie2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 My husband and I always spend the holidays together, but this time it's different because him and I have separated, my husband moved out of the house into a hotel while we figure out how fix our marriage. Whose idea was it to separate? How are your kids handing it.
Speakingofwhich Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Mal, think you may start a thread? Have a question; don't want to t/j!
hopewild Posted November 25, 2013 Posted November 25, 2013 It's pretty shocking to me how many women are spending Thanksgiving with their MM. So many things on this board shock me. I don't get how these affairs work logistically....lol 2
Author thinkingofhim Posted November 25, 2013 Author Posted November 25, 2013 Ha, well, in our case he's taking some time out from Black Friday shopping to spend with me. Finding time is always a challenge but I do think it's important to try and sneak a few holiday moments in. 1
mal0980 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) Whose idea was it to separate? How are your kids handing it. It was my husband's idea that we should separate and it has really been rough on our kids, they miss their dad since he moved out a week ago. I will post my own thread tomorrow and anyone can ask me questions. Edited November 26, 2013 by mal0980
ComingInHot Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Thinkingofhim wrote, "...SNEAK a few holiday moments in." It's actually difficult for me to wrap my head around the above statement. I guess it would make Me feel like a dirty little secret. Excitement of "sneaking around" aside, I would Know I'm also betraying & lying to my spouse and children. Not to mention how Unimportant it would make me feel. The only "sneaking around" I love doing during the Holidays, is getting and wrapping gifts for the family I vowed never to betray* Now That's fun!! and no one gets hurt. 3
ConflictWithin Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 My 3 sons and I will be spending Thanksgiving with my family and friends also my MM will also be there, My husband will be spending Thanksgiving with his family. Then on Friday my MM and I have to go out of town on for business/romantic trip which I am so excited about. You posts suggest your not a malicious person by nature, and I thoroughly enjoy reading your drama unfold , but, and a big BUT... you sound awfully unfair. You are separated, yet don't seem to distraught. You are giddy and excited at the upcoming romantic/business trip, not even a bit remorseful. When you feel guilty, you have a date night with your husband. You drag your husband along on your wild on/off affair for 15 YEARS! Again, not being sarcastic but simply being objective because I find your 15 year affair amusing, but perhaps you may have narcissist complex, Electra Complex, possibly sprinkled with daddy issues/authority figures? Can't say, but perhaps your marriage should have never been in the first place? It looks like you're content with the current setup, but did your husband sign on to this arrangement? Probably not, is why you may have underlying narcissistic tendencies. I have some of that as well, and we're not bad people, it's just we sometimes can't place ourselves in other people's shoes. (I'm working so hard to change, however ). The fact that your husband asked for a separation implies there's some discontent; since he doesn't know of your affair, then likely other issues. But I have a strong feeling your affair emotions and resultant actions and emotions seeped its way into your relationship. Simply put, if the tables were turned, may I ask if you'd be willing to accept the current situation? If you are, then perhaps you may want to discuss an open marriage with your husband? If the tables were turned and you would find the arrangement unacceptable, then take this separation opportunity to talk with your husband about the current state of affairs: repair/improve/reconcile, or divorce? I mean, what's the point of having a 15 YEAR LONG affair behind someone's back if the parties involved did not agree in advance to such thing? Something is not right here?
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