tanbark813 Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Ok, so a quick recap. After LOTS of thinking and a good deal of talking last week, my gf and I are back together. She seems committed to wanting to make things work and cease the lying. We've spent the past week together and she even attended my family's Christmas festivities. Anyhoo, yesterday morning she went with a girl friend to Disneyland. She got up at roughly the same time as me and a little after I left for work. At about 6pm she calls me to ask me to check online and see how far they are from Anaheim. They had been driving all day and the weather (and probably traffic) was awful. I tell them they're about an hour away. She sounded really upbeat for having driven all day, but I didn't think much of it. About 10pm she calls again to let me know they made it to the hotel and had just finished working out. She sounds really nice, still very alert, but a little off, and tells me she'll call before they go to bed as they are heading out to get dinner. 12:30am - she calls to say goodnight. Still sounds alert. I finally ask her if she's on anything (namely coke). She says no, thinks it's silly of me to ask, and asks why I think that. These were the reasons I gave her: 1. She normally tires easily. Saturday and Sunday she spent with me and my family. After sleeping in and only being awake for a few hours, she took a nap on the couch while we were all hanging out, in front of my parents, in the middle of the afternoon on both days. And most of the time when we go out, she'll want to go home early (10 or 11pm) and will even cry if she gets too tired. But this time she was suddenly little Ms. Ball of Energy. 2. She was really adamant about her and her friend being alone for the trip. 3. Her friend, who has supplied her in the past, called her the night before they left and I'm not sure what they talked about. 4. The last time she did coke, aside from a few months ago, was last December (before we were together) and I'm thinking it might have been in the same context (that is, the previous trip to Disneyland). Anyway, she denied it all up and down but I'm sitting here with a really bad gut feeling about everything. The thing is, I'm not sure if it's my gut warning me again, or if it's paranoia and anxiety from being away from her for the first time since we got back together. Of course, I also wrote a post about how I need to listen to my gut more so maybe I should just take my own advice...
tattoomytoe Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 she is sooooo lying to you! her nose is powder white i betcha! why are you believing her? and when she gets back i bet she will look sooo strung out, all b!tchy with sunken in eyes and dehydrated.....if she lives.
tiki Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Dude, I've told you that your tummy is your second brain. Sure, you're paranoid, but for a DAYUM good reason. Why are you accepting her cocaine use if it's unacceptable? Have you put your foot down and told her to stop using?
tattoomytoe Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 all i am saying is: take it from a user.
Adunaphel Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 The odds are that she did coke. Sounds like she was on it from what you wrote. If you find out she did coke, what are you going to do?
Author tanbark813 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by Adunaphel The odds are that she did coke. Sounds like she was on it from what you wrote. If you find out she did coke, what are you going to do? I'm not sure. I mean, she told me she's done it before, and I never really said it was a dealbreaker. But she does know I'm not exactly fond of the idea. I don't have a lot of experience with people who do it, and I've never done it myself, but she was talking like a mile a minute last night and she just didn't seem like herself. I guess if she really did it, I'd tell her I'm no longer going to accept it and it's either the coke or me. I just feel like such a hypocrite for saying no to the coke when I smoke out with her regularly.
cheatersrsad Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I just feel like such a hypocrite for saying no to the coke when I smoke out with her regularly. Good thing you said it! You should feel that way. It's like telling an alcoholic that you have a beer with every week that they are out of your life if they are caught drinking the "hard" stuff. A drug is a drug is a drug. Yes there are degrees of drugs, but there should also be "I'm a user" and "I'm not."
tattoomytoe Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 no..... a hypocrite would tell her to do neither, then go out and do them both. you are saying do not do the reallly bad drug....the other you can do, and do it together even!
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I guess if she really did it, I'd tell her I'm no longer going to accept it and it's either the coke or me. I just feel like such a hypocrite for saying no to the coke when I smoke out with her regularly. Um - that's exactly what you'd be. You really have no right to tell her to stop doing drugs if you're doing drugs as well.
tiki Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Tanbark, if you're doing it, (well, you BOTH are doing it in this case) you can't dictate her life. That is being hypocritical. You guys should both work to stop, maybe? Or set up an agreement where you only do it in each other's presence. But sh*t, stop that stuff. I can't believe I'm sounding like I'm condoning it....I'm not by any means. Please just stop that sh*t. Wait...maybe I'm confused. Are you on cocaine too? I'm not very 'in the loop' on the drugs. Is that what you're talking about smoking? Help me out here.
Author tanbark813 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by tiki Tanbark, if you're doing it, (well, you BOTH are doing it in this case) you can't dictate her life. That is being hypocritical. I don't do coke. Never have.
tiki Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Ohhh, okay. I edited my upper post and you were replying. I didn't know if you were referring to smoking cocaine. I don't know if you can smoke that, so I really wasn't sure. Thanks for the clarification. Now, [size=20]Hell yeah you can tell her to stop!!!!
tattoomytoe Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by tanbark813 I don't do coke. Never have. thay are talking drugs in general....which i disagree. it is not like drinking....it is but it is not.
Author tanbark813 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by tiki ....sorry, I apparently got carried away. No problem.
Barby Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I don't know if you can smoke that, so I really wasn't sure. From a recovering addict yes you can smoke cocaine..it's very addicting and ruins your life like you wouldn't believe. It's very powerful and hard to get off of but it can be done.
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 It's like telling someone they can drink beer but they can't drink hard liquor. It's absolutely absurd. If you want her off the coke - then get off the MJ.
Author tanbark813 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky It's like telling someone they can drink beer but they can't drink hard liquor. It's absolutely absurd. If you want her off the coke - then get off the MJ. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say "absolutely absurd". There's a difference. MJ and coke have completely different active chemicals that act on the body and produce very different effects. Whereas beer and hard liquor have the same active chemical and the same effect, and are just brewed in different ways. Your analogy would be closer to me saying she can smoke MJ, but can't eat pot brownies. Plus, I've never heard of someone overdosing on MJ. Big difference.
Author tanbark813 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 A slightly more descriptive update is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=53992 The reason she gave for being so energetic the other night was that she was excited to be away from me.
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 I don't know if I'd go so far as to say "absolutely absurd". There's a difference. MJ and coke have completely different active chemicals that act on the body and produce very different effects. Whereas beer and hard liquor have the same active chemical and the same effect, and are just brewed in different ways. Your analogy would be closer to me saying she can smoke MJ, but can't eat pot brownies. Plus, I've never heard of someone overdosing on MJ. Big difference. They're both drugs. Regardless of how you want to justify one over the other, you're both using drugs. I've done them both - more than I want to remember and they're both addictive and they both can affect a persons life. If you're casually using MJ then you shouldn't have an issue with her casually using coke. Come on, Tan - from one drug user to another - they're all drugs. The only time you can justify one over the other is when you're the one using it..
Author tanbark813 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 I appreciate your input Pocky, but by your rationale, drinking coffee makes someone a "drug user" also.
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 If you want to get ridiculous we can certainly get ridiculous - Caffeine is a drug. But it's a socially accepted drug. Just like alcohol, prescription drugs, and cigarettes - all socially acceptable. MJ and coke are both drugs. While you may not notice an impact from MJ it can impact lives. It can be addicting - and I will repeat this is not coming from a "Say No To Drugs" advocate. I used, I used a lot and I learned from it. And while I used I watched my friends lives fall apart around them because they couldn't stop. And a few of them only smoked MJ - now still stuck as cooks at a local restaurant making $8 an hour with no education and renting an apartment overrun by roaches. And it was only MJ.... You can't take a moral high ground on coke when you use an illegal substance as well. Is there a difference between the affects of MJ and coke - yep, never said there wasn't. But when laying down the law regarding how someone else will live their life I would expect the person to adhere to the same expectations - no drugs means no drugs. What if she switched to X? Would that be okay with you? Or heroine? Or ketamine? Or how about the new elephant tranquilizers that are out? What you're really saying is no drugs that I don't do or that I find unacceptable. What you're really saying is you're only allowed to do as I do and nothing more. I'm sorry toots - you may be one of my favorite people on LS, but I totally see a different perspective than you and I'm budging.
Author tanbark813 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 If you want to divide them up by legality, then that's fine. But another difference between MJ and coke is the addiction. MJ is only psychologically addicting, whereas coke is physiologically addicting. You may consider that splitting hairs, but IMHO it is an important distinction. Also, if my life were falling apart around me I would certainly reconsider my lifestyle. But romantic relationships aside, I am happy with my life. I make a good living in a great job and I have good friends around me. Originally posted by Pocky What you're really saying is no drugs that I don't do or that I find unacceptable. What you're really saying is you're only allowed to do as I do and nothing more. That is correct. Originally posted by Pocky I'm sorry toots - you may be one of my favorite people on LS, but I totally see a different perspective than you and I'm budging. Fair enough.
Pocky Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky What you're really saying is no drugs that I don't do or that I find unacceptable. What you're really saying is you're only allowed to do as I do and nothing more. That is correct. The next girlfriend you find, you better make sure she's submissive - no way in hell I'd put up with your "Do As I Say" punkass
Author tanbark813 Posted December 29, 2004 Author Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky The next girlfriend you find, you better make sure she's submissive - no way in hell I'd put up with your "Do As I Say" punkass But see, my "do as I say" attitude is masked by coyness so she never sees it coming. Therein lies the strategy.
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