Makie1138 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) So me and my boyfriend were together for 10 years. About 7 months ago I decided we should take a break. The whole time we were on this "break" we were still talking, still seeing each other throughout the week. Hanging out. We discussed the break numerous times and I told him repeatedly I did not look at it as a permanent thing. That I just needed time to be by myself for awhile. So we still hung out and talked. We would get into arguments here and there about what was happening with us and what we were doing. We ended up back together. But before he had moved back in and before we were "officially" back together, we were still being intimate with each other. He moved back in and we were officially back together for about a month. Then he tells me just over a month ago he slept with someone else!!!!! I don't know what to do. I feel like an idiot. He was super apologetic and seemed sincere. However, how could he do that to me?! After 10 years!!! Our "break" did not seem like a typical break and the fact that he slept with someone else RIGHT before we got back together bothers me A LOT. I don't know if he just had a stupid moment (he said it was extremely quick and he stopped a few minutes into it) OR I don't know if I am being stupid thinking he just had a stupid moment.... Edited November 23, 2013 by Makie1138 Spelled word wrong
Raena Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I've heard that line before too... oh it was only for a minute, I couldn't really go through with it... yeah right. But that's my sitch, not yours. Maybe he's telling the truth. I can understand your confusion and pain. Do you feel like you can let it go because you were on a "break"? Just out of curiosity....Did you discuss with him that he was free to see other people during that time or were you expecting him to sit around and wait until you decided you wanted to be with him again?
Woggle Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 To most men you are either together or you aren't and this is probably the way he saw it.
Simplysimon Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 So me and my boyfriend were together for 10 years. About 7 months ago I decided we should take a break. The whole time we were on this "break" we were still talking, still seeing each other throughout the week. Hanging out. We discussed the break numerous times and I told him repeatedly I did not look at it as a permanent thing. That I just needed time to be by myself for awhile. So we still hung out and talked. We would get into arguments here and there about what was happening with us and what we were doing. We ended up back together. But before he had moved back in and before we were "officially" back together, we were still being intimate with each other. He moved back in and we were officially back together for about a month. Then he tells me just over a month ago he slept with someone else!!!!! I don't know what to do. I feel like an idiot. He was super apologetic and seemed sincere. However, how could he do that to me?! After 10 years!!! Our "break" did not seem like a typical break and the fact that he slept with someone else RIGHT before we got back together bothers me A LOT. I don't know if he just had a stupid moment (he said it was extremely quick and he stopped a few minutes into it) OR I don't know if I am being stupid thinking he just had a stupid moment.... Sorry you wanted a break, you kept him in friends zone changing the conditions of the relationship. You expect him to sit and wait for you. It's simple your either together or not. You kept him as friend to ease your grief, guilt and keep and eye on him, women do this all the time and men go for it. He went with another girl cos you went on a break. What is it with breaks. Oh I have been married 30 years but excuse me wife we need a break, hang around for me till I'm ready. Come on get real. Life's too short. A break means hang around for a while whilst I make a decision if I want you or not cos your not doing it for me right now. Sit down discuss the issues, sort them or break up completely. No breaks If hadn't of requested the break it would never have happened right? 2
headinthecloud Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 What's concerning is that he waited a month to tell you. Hmmmmm.
2fargone Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 You were on a break. I think it's normal that both people can do whatever they want when on a break. Get over it.
Iguanna Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I can's have a clear opinion if I don't know what was the reason you wanted a break, what did you want to accomplish with that? Were there serious problems or you were tired from other things in life and you wanted to be alone for a while? You have to ask him why he did it, what he felt and how he sees your relationship now. Take your answers and make a choice. Can you go on as you were before?
Recommended Posts