ethan123 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 So Last year, around this time I went on a few dates with this girl. We got setup from a friend. A group event happened on the first time we hung out and after that it was just me and her going on a few dates by ourselves. She actually got my number from her friend. The dates were going smooth, trust me. Well on the 3rd date we hooked up making out on my couch for hours. So then I got a 4th date and also a 5th but on the 5th date I notice that she was acting a little differently. After that date, I took her home… yada yada… you know, the stuff that happens with going on dates. I thought I was in and I know she was into me. I was excited. We talked via text message a lot. It wasn’t a nagging texting, it was just simple and easy between both of us. Laughing a lot and tons of smiley faces. So I tried to get another date asking her to let me know when she is free again. Well I didn’t get a reply, I got a phone call instead from her saying something like this. “Hey {NAME}, this is hard to say but I’m just not feeling it. I’m sorry” - I just replied saying (playing is smooth), no big deal! I totally understand. No hard feelings! and that was that. Well a few weeks later she was back with her ex boyfriend I noticed (yay for Facebook… not). Bad timing for me, maybe? I’m not sure if he saw us talking via Facebook, maybe he broke up with her and was getting jealous? Who knows and who cares. I didn’t even know she had an ex or whatever, but later on, I was told it was a long time since they been together, so I’m thinking I wasn’t a rebound but who knows? Anyways, to finish this off, we are Facebook friends still and here and there she comments on something of mine and I do the same thing. Makes me just think man, I was really into this girl and I knew she was too (at the time). So a year went by and I was told (from the friend that set us up) that she’s no longer with her boyfriend and I also noticed because of Facebook that she was hiding her relationship status (not displaying anything). About 3 weeks ago I messaged her about something that was funny that we both had in common and she did reply. We had a few replies actually. Now I’m thinking about sending her a message. Maybe something like “Hey {NAME}, just wanted to know if you were free sometime to get some drinks or something? If not no hard feelings What do you think? Send her that message? Take the rejection if it happens... Thanks
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 You will never know unless you ask. As long as you realize that a). she may not be ready and b). after this 1st ask under these unique circumstances, you are never to ask somebody out via FB again. 1
DrSimple Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Take your shot! I can tell you 100% that if you don't try, you won't get a date 2
Versacehottie Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Yes, i think you should ask. But leave out the "if you're not free, no hard feelings" part. That sounds like you are already giving up & willing to be a doormat (sorry, there's probably a better word but you know what I mean). Without it, it sounds more confident--more confident sounds likely to get you the date. Also you could make it more natural by dropping little stuff beforehand. Like I dying to see xyz movie and if she takes the bait, ie yeah that looks good, then say oh if your free we should go together. I wouldn't get too discouraged if she doesn't commit to getting together on the first try. Basically you're back in. Keeping working it & you will probably get somewhere, i think! As far as the "if you're not free, no hard feelings part" don't SAY it, but definitely LIVE it. Have that feeling inside during your interactions with her. It will give you more confidence & she will feel it. Trust. 1
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