HiddenMan Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) Hello everyone. This is my second thread, but in case of being recognized I created a new user :/ It was 5 days of NC, and I got a feeling that before it goes to 2 weeks, my girlfriend on a break (or ex I should say?) is going to contact me. We took a 'break' (mostly she) 5 days ago and we had these conversations: She- "I love you very much, and I always will. I didn't find another boy, I didn't lose my love or changed my orientation but now I see it's super hard for us to be a couple. However, please, don't fully ignore me because it would be too hard now... too much. If I ask you how you are doing, I would want you to write me back" Me- " So how is it between us now?" She- " There is no us right now. Maybe there will be in future, but not now. I need time" She was very emotional, stressed so I don't know how much she sincerely meant with that 'there is no us right now'. I thought 2 hours from that message and decided to call, at least to take a 'break' with a call and not message. It went like this: *Her voice was passive aggressive. Me- "Hi, you said a lot in those messages and I just wanted to hear from you, your voice.Also, I wouldn't like to talk about this with messages, it's seems really not nice and improper to me..." She- "I already said everything, there is nothing else left to say" Me- " Well, we had some difficulties, but I think we can work them out. It's a really ****ty feeling if you can do nothing about the situation. Can I do anything now? " She- "Please stop, lets not hurt each other more. I don't blame you, I'm not angry at you. I just need time and space" Me- "A break is a very risky move, too risky for such an important thing" She- "But that's the only thing that can help me. You can help me by just giving me space and time" Me- "Well, if that's what you want, I can do nothing. I hope we will be ok (that's what she said after our big message fight month ago which led us to this)" She interrupted- "I hope so too" her voice started to shake a little bit and got more... pleasant? Me- " I love you, goodbye" I heard that she cracked up and started to cry loudly and I hanged up. So she was very emotional, probably got a little bit of 'help' to go for a 'break' and acted only based on emotions (she never talked with me like that before, she was always very sweet). This included, and the fact of "I hope you will write me back", " I hope so too", and really strong cry in the end I got the feeling that she is going to contact me in a week or two. Also the way how she handled the whole think (passive-aggresive tone, initiated through messages and etc) should strengthen the guilt and mistake feeling of hers IMO. Everything escalated during a ****ty time and ****ty situation with us both acting incorrectly. We were really happy and got close to each other and each others families... So I wouldn't want to end an important relationship like this. I'm pretty convinced there is no 'other' person involved, and it's mostly things we told when we got mad at each other 1 month ago. After that, she was really sad and cold whole month (we can only meet on weekends, managed to make her laugh, look happy a couple of times and had sex, but yet it was colder than ever) and five days ago asked for break. She also cried a little all the times we met, saying that she's messed up inside after our fight. So my question is, when/if she writes me, how should I respond? I read quite a lot of it, that you don't want to mention breakup, relationships and etc. but most of the time it's after a longer period of time (2 + months) and from a clear break-up, not a so called 'break'. But maybe in this situation, it would be just the case ? Of course I must not be needy, desperate or too emotional. Or do you think I should still take little steps in order to make things possible ? Should I try to admit and solve the problems, imperfections of me and her and say that we will work on them and offer to rebuild our relationship again? Maybe before this I should remind her our beautiful memories? It would be really helpful to hear your thoughts P.S About move on and ignore options people are going to offer... I kinda moving on, I'm on NC but I don't want to miss the opportunity to solve the problems and be happy again. If she won't contact me in a month, I will contact her and tell her that the break is now a break-up. But lets hope it will not be the case. Expect the best, prepare for the worst. Edited November 23, 2013 by HiddenMan
Author HiddenMan Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 I would really appreciate peoples ideas how to approach our communication if it happens, I would like to be emotionally prepared for it when it comes
cavalier99 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Just go NC and cut her out. No more texts or talking and block her. I wish i could have gone back and saved my self respect. I will never accept a break. It is total BS. Ive learned this lesson the hard way. Man up and and walk away however hard. It is her loss. Sorry. Cav
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