greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 I'm wondering what's the real reason for exes to act angry towards their ex bfs/gfs. Is that the right thing to do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedguy81 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 I'm wondering what's the real reason for exes to act angry towards their ex bfs/gfs. Is that the right thing to do? Defense mechanism me thinks. If an ex is cold to their ex, then it may keep the ex away and not try to push for contact. Other times, it's just hurt and pain manifesting itself as harsh words and actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 What's up with the exes bringing up the past when you hang out with them, living in the present, and could be talking about anything un-related to the past? He was acting so negative about it with me and pointing out what I did wrong in the relationship.. My ex brought it up every time we talked and my mind keeps trying to figure out WHY he would feel like bringing that up even if he's dating someone else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedguy81 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 What's up with the exes bringing up the past when you hang out with them, living in the present, and could be talking about anything un-related to the past? He was acting so negative about it with me and pointing out what I did wrong in the relationship.. My ex brought it up every time we talked and my mind keeps trying to figure out WHY he would feel like bringing that up even if he's dating someone else? To make you feel bad and that he did the right thing in not being with you. It could be his way of relieving guilt (if he was the dumper) or validating the breakup (if he was either the dumper or dumpee). In essence, he may be saying that it was your fault for the breakup. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 out of curiosity, is his zodiac sign ... cancer? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 He's a Taurus Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 To make you feel bad and that he did the right thing in not being with you. It could be his way of relieving guilt (if he was the dumper) or validating the breakup (if he was either the dumper or dumpee). In essence, he may be saying that it was your fault for the breakup. I was the first to say, hey we should go on a break but we have talked about it sometimes so I thought he knew it was coming… I then decided to really break up because being on a "break" didn't feel like we were on a break because we were still hanging out, ****ing, and doing the same **** we'd be doing as gf/bf. He never dumped me except when I changed my mind wanting him back, he rejected me. HARD. Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedguy81 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 I was the first to say, hey we should go on a break but we have talked about it sometimes so I thought he knew it was coming… I then decided to really break up because being on a "break" didn't feel like we were on a break because we were still hanging out, ****ing, and doing the same **** we'd be doing as gf/bf. He never dumped me except when I changed my mind wanting him back, he rejected me. HARD. I've had kind of the same situation. I told my ex that maybe we should break up because it didnt seem like she knew what she wanted. We talked it out and blah blah. She dumped me a week later and brought up the time I talked about breaking up. I think she was taking preemptive strike because I was thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 You damaged his ego and his confidence when you rejected him and so he is doing it back to you, he may not even realise he is doing this in his conciousness. Yes I believe some people are that simple and vengeful. He feels better when he reminds you how it feels. Do you see him often? Perhaps be prepared with something good to say the next time you see him. Something positive... Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 I've had kind of the same situation. I told my ex that maybe we should break up because it didnt seem like she knew what she wanted. We talked it out and blah blah. She dumped me a week later and brought up the time I talked about breaking up. I think she was taking preemptive strike because I was thinking about it. Yeah, thanks for your thoughts. Makes me feel good to have someone on here that understands my situation a bit. I think that might be true because my ex would bring that subject up sometimes and we would eventually talk it out. But I kind of always felt like he wasn't 100 percent into this relationship. I loved him and all but there was just something that wasn't there that was really critical for me to have… but I just didn't have it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 You damaged his ego and his confidence when you rejected him and so he is doing it back to you, he may not even realise he is doing this in his conciousness. Yes I believe some people are that simple and vengeful. He feels better when he reminds you how it feels. Do you see him often? Perhaps be prepared with something good to say the next time you see him. Something positive... Makes sense. Thanks for your perspective, never thought of that! Sounds like you got a heap of experience! And to answer your question do I see him often? No, we don't live in the same state anymore and the last time we met up was about half a year ago, that was when he said all of this stuff. After that, we saw each other at a really intimate gathering and that didnt go too bad. I couldn't even walk up to him first but he walked up to me, hugged me. We made really SMALL talk and I was nice enough. I joked a bit with him, we talked about some memories from the past and laughed about it. He helped me with drinks without me even asking. He offered me the vape and was explaining about all these "cool" new gadgets he got. I really didn't care about the vape (hookah grosses me out) and the new stuff he got. I basically flipped him off with a smile and walked away. He got so drunk he ended up telling me this weird word that I couldn't make out and he said he would text me but never did. It was overall positive the last time we met. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Makes sense. Thanks for your perspective, never thought of that! Sounds like you got a heap of experience! And to answer your question do I see him often? No, we don't live in the same state anymore and the last time we met up was about half a year ago, that was when he said all of this stuff. After that, we saw each other at a really intimate gathering and that didnt go too bad. I couldn't even walk up to him first but he walked up to me, hugged me. We made really SMALL talk and I was nice enough. I joked a bit with him, we talked about some memories from the past and laughed about it. He helped me with drinks without me even asking. He offered me the vape and was explaining about all these "cool" new gadgets he got. I really didn't care about the vape (hookah grosses me out) and the new stuff he got. I basically flipped him off with a smile and walked away. He got so drunk he ended up telling me this weird word that I couldn't make out and he said he would text me but never did. It was overall positive the last time we met. Oh, and he had to talk about how I used to have his dick in front of everyone. That was really embarrassing. He also brought up some random stuff about my own stepdad. I don't know if he misses my stepdad or what! Link to post Share on other sites
haggard969 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) well the reason why my ex was angry at me , number one, she knew she was the one making the mistake, she felt guilty and she tried picking out things wrong that i did even i didnt do anything, but really the things she was getting mad about was nothing at all just an excuse, number 2 , she was trying to scare me off so i would leave her alone, even though the last 3 months she has texted me every week and when i started replying she would get mad and annoyed, number 3, her new relation ship wasnt what she expected so she for some reason felt more comfortable taking her anger out on me rather then her new bf, and also she got angry at me because she thinks its my fault that she dumped me for someone else because its my fault that i couldnt keep up to her expectations or somting. but the main reason is guilt, they try to blame the dumpee to balance out the weight scale, its like adding ice onto your side of the scale, but it keeps melting off n their side keeps getting heavier, they will learn, just ignore it Edited November 23, 2013 by haggard969 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 I'm wondering what's the real reason for exes to act angry towards their ex bfs/gfs. Is that the right thing to do? what does anger get you if you feel it?........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Why are you talking to him again? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 What's up with the exes bringing up the past when you hang out with them, living in the present, and could be talking about anything un-related to the past? He was acting so negative about it with me and pointing out what I did wrong in the relationship.. My ex brought it up every time we talked and my mind keeps trying to figure out WHY he would feel like bringing that up even if he's dating someone else? why are u and an ex talking...and about the past? You don't seem ready to be in talking terms if it's bothering...no matter what the topic is. If an ex of mine who I didn't care about brought up the best, I wouldn't care and prob laugh at them. If my recent ex brought back the past, I'd wonder why as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 why are u and an ex talking...and about the past? We mutually agreed to meet up and catch up… That's what I asked myself when I was sitting there listening to him.. I didn't bring up the past, he brought it up..even when I tried to change the subjects, he would go back to that. I wanted to laugh too when he was telling me stuff that happened five years ago, things I don't even remember today but I'm just curious to know the real reason behind this act. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 We mutually agreed to meet up and catch up… That's what I asked myself when I was sitting there listening to him.. I didn't bring up the past, he brought it up..even when I tried to change the subjects, he would go back to that. I wanted to laugh too when he was telling me stuff that happened five years ago, things I don't even remember today but I'm just curious to know the real reason behind this act. Use it on your advantage for sh*ts and giggles I guess and find out if you're that curious. But if it bothers you, you should either not talk to him as long/much or let him know You are not interesting talking about the past and ask about what hes been up to. That's what I'd do at least. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 What's up with the exes bringing up the past when you hang out with them What's up with you hanging out with your ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenfairie Posted November 24, 2013 Author Share Posted November 24, 2013 What's up with you hanging out with your ex? Mutual friends invite us to parties Link to post Share on other sites
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