ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Guys I've been dating this girl for 2 1/2 years. I don't know what to do. She recently got back from Europe because of her work there we haven't seen each other for 7 months. She doesn't want to have sex and acting really different. She kiss me but doesn't french kiss. She is not passionate anymore. She is saying she loves me and misses me and she acts so happy every time we are together outside but every time we go to bed she acts so different and distant. I'm 100% sure that there is no other guy as she is living with her mother there and all she does is work. Is it because of stress? She is really tired and stress everyday as she work 6 days a week and 9-12hrs a day. She is not like this before.. Before she is affectionate and passionate in our relationship but that's the time that she still doesn't work. I really love this women as she is really great through out our relationship. I just don't understand what's happening. Suddenly everything is different and I feel like our relationship is falling apart. I did ask if there is something wrong she said "I'm sorry I can't give more right now. It's just that I'm really stress and tired". She stop saying I love you on her goodnight messages too. I think she can't handle to be in a relationship right now due to her stress at work. or maybe she is falling out of love? Do you think it's better to just end it with her? And start No Contact or just ask her for cool off to lessen her stress? She is 27 yrs old. please help me guys.
OpheliaSong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 She sounds as though she doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you and just wants a friend.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I once dated a girl who only gave me Blowjobs and handjobs. She wouldnt let me go down on her or have intercourse. She would kind of tease my hand, guiding it to that area and rubbing it on the outside but never let me "in" so to speak. She also made a joke about spewing her AIDS blood (I dont remember the context). So she was either A: Distant B: Had Aids C: Insecure D:Crazy
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 so ending it is better?? She even forgot our anniversary last time.. so many red flags. What's the best thing to tell her?
OpheliaSong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 so ending it is better?? She even forgot our anniversary last time.. so many red flags. What's the best thing to tell her? The truth. She checked out and you can't carry this relationship on your own.
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 No this girl did everything to me before but when she started working everything is different suddenly. I once dated a girl who only gave me Blowjobs and handjobs. She wouldnt let me go down on her or have intercourse. She would kind of tease my hand, guiding it to that area and rubbing it on the outside but never let me "in" so to speak. She also made a joke about spewing her AIDS blood (I dont remember the context). So she was either A: Distant B: Had Aids C: Insecure D:Crazy
OpheliaSong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 No this girl did everything to me before but when she started working everything is different suddenly. Could she have a lover at work?
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Should i still try to talk to her to work things out? and if she doesn't I'll just end it? or is it better to just end it? The truth. She checked out and you can't carry this relationship on your own.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 No this girl did everything to me before but when she started working everything is different suddenly. Could be that she needs space or isn't sure what she wants. She may not even want a relationship but is holding onto you just in case. Who the heck knows? I know nothing about women except that the ones I'm around are usually crazy.
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 It's all girls store.. It's like a clothing shop for women and everybody at her work knows me and talks to me... Could she have a lover at work?
OpheliaSong Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Should i still try to talk to her to work things out? and if she doesn't I'll just end it? or is it better to just end it? You asked her already and she acted like everything was fine except she was tired, right? I wonder if there is another reason since most of us have sex when we work and go to university. Women are amazing multi-taskers.
freebird31 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 You need to talk to her about this. You need to communicate with her. Don't break up with her because you are just assuming things that might not even be true! You might regret that. Be upfront be real but also be reasonable and understanding by trying to see her poor of view as well. Maybe the two of you can come to a compromise. Don't end the relationship without communicating the problem properly, you will regret it!!! Just talk to her. If she's still into you and you are still into her, you can work it out. Don't throw a good relationship away. TRUst me I was in your exact shoes. My ex started working a lot and was stressed and had no more time for me. I reacted improperly. instead of communicating and having a mature conversations about this, I did what any immature person would. I got resentful which led to arguments. One thing I cannot stress enough is MAKE sure you are ready go through with a break up before EVER deciding on so. If you guys love eachother , you will work it out. I wish I had been more understanding of where my boyfriend was coming from but I was , I'll admit, a little selfish myself. All a bunch of lessons learned. Just really TALK IT out with her!!!!! Don't end it before you do. 2
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 Thank you so much for this response.. What would be a good questions to ask her? Honestly I don't even know how would I approach this situation.. She is really a great girl from the start of our relationship and career got on the way.. I even think her career is more important right now than me.. You need to talk to her about this. You need to communicate with her. Don't break up with her because you are just assuming things that might not even be true! You might regret that. Be upfront be real but also be reasonable and understanding by trying to see her poor of view as well. Maybe the two of you can come to a compromise. Don't end the relationship without communicating the problem properly, you will regret it!!! Just talk to her. If she's still into you and you are still into her, you can work it out. Don't throw a good relationship away. TRUst me I was in your exact shoes. My ex started working a lot and was stressed and had no more time for me. I reacted improperly. instead of communicating and having a mature conversations about this, I did what any immature person would. I got resentful which led to arguments. One thing I cannot stress enough is MAKE sure you are ready go through with a break up before EVER deciding on so. If you guys love eachother , you will work it out. I wish I had been more understanding of where my boyfriend was coming from but I was , I'll admit, a little selfish myself. All a bunch of lessons learned. Just really TALK IT out with her!!!!! Don't end it before you do.
bubbaganoosh Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I once dated a girl who only gave me Blowjobs and handjobs. She wouldnt let me go down on her or have intercourse. She would kind of tease my hand, guiding it to that area and rubbing it on the outside but never let me "in" so to speak. She also made a joke about spewing her AIDS blood (I dont remember the context). So she was either A: Distant B: Had Aids C: Insecure D:Crazy E: or a tranny
NoLeafClover Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 maybe she's just worn out. I have had many days/nights where I'd go to my gf's house and we'd in bed and about to do stuff and I or we , would just end up passing out. Perhaps it's just me but if that's the case I would just be a bit more supportive of those that work so many long hours. It's very weird that she doesn't kiss you passionately eventhough french-kissing leans more on the sexual side..Weird 1
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 23, 2013 Author Posted November 23, 2013 I know it's really weird man and sometimes she's just having this migraine due to stress. She just wanna lay down and doesn't even wanna be touched. what is weird is when we are in public she holds my hand, kiss me, hug me and be sweet to me.. I'm really confuse to the point that I don't know if I should just end it with her. Forgetting our anniversary is another Red Flag too. she had a 12 hour shift that day and she said she remembered but then she forgot when she got home because she's tired.. I tried to understand her the best I can but I really don't know if I can go on anymore. I love her so much we talked about getting married someday but I'm just torn right now. maybe she's just worn out. I have had many days/nights where I'd go to my gf's house and we'd in bed and about to do stuff and I or we , would just end up passing out. Perhaps it's just me but if that's the case I would just be a bit more supportive of those that work so many long hours. It's very weird that she doesn't kiss you passionately eventhough french-kissing leans more on the sexual side..Weird
chris21422 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 You should talk to her first before ending it with her. Your situation is really hard because if she is acting fine in public but when in bed she is different there is definitely something wrong with her. She might need space or time.. 1
ILoveVegas Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 You need to talk to her. Don't just end the relationship straight away. Talk and then if she wanted a way out give it to her.. Don't beg don't plead just respect her decision and walk away. I know it's really weird man and sometimes she's just having this migraine due to stress. She just wanna lay down and doesn't even wanna be touched. what is weird is when we are in public she holds my hand, kiss me, hug me and be sweet to me.. I'm really confuse to the point that I don't know if I should just end it with her. Forgetting our anniversary is another Red Flag too. she had a 12 hour shift that day and she said she remembered but then she forgot when she got home because she's tired.. I tried to understand her the best I can but I really don't know if I can go on anymore. I love her so much we talked about getting married someday but I'm just torn right now. 1
Kizza Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 She might be confused about her feelings for you. Talk to her and tell her how she is acting, see what happens. Interestingly enough she might be asking the question you have asked. Should I break up with him , will I regret it. 1
freebird31 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Thank you so much for this response.. What would be a good questions to ask her? Honestly I don't even know how would I approach this situation.. She is really a great girl from the start of our relationship and career got on the way.. I even think her career is more important right now than me.. First say, you would like to talk to her and you would like her full attention as its important. Tell her that you feel like it seems there has been a distance created between the two of you. If you want to mention sex and how she has been distant in that way, you can too. But also be careful becuase some women have the tendency to take that the wrong way. So you might come across as shallow and selfish if you imply that you havent got any in a while. You can tel her you feel that you guys have become physically distant and it makes you feel insecure about the relationship and how she feels about you in the relationship. And say you understand that there has been an overload in her work schedule, and understand how stressed and tired she has been lately. but would like to work toward a compromise. Also understand that a compromise is not the same as a collaboration. In a compromise, you are pretty much negotiating. Its a lose and win for both people. You may have to lose some of her time but she can maybe work to be more affectionate towards you. Or maybe you can plan a date night once a week just the two of you. So that would be your gain. (Whatever it is you want to gain, whether its her affection or some more of her time, OR attention, communicate it!) But you have to understand as well you have to be sensitive towards what she wants as well. And same with her. She might have to lose some sleep and a resting day once a week, but she will gain a date night with you and spend time to mend the relationship. She is both losing and gaining something. Again, its a compromise, a negotation. You wont get her time and attention every single day of the week. Youre coming together to to negotiate, while stil thinking of what you want as an individual. If this is something she cannot handle, THEN you should reconsider the relationship. If this type of compromise is something maybe that YOU cannot handle then maybe you should reconsider the relationship. But understand this, a relationship is not meant to be easy. And you two have been together for some time now, consider this the test of your relationship. If you want to work towards fixing the problem, ITS DO-ABLE. You just need to master your communication skills. And like i said, its not going to be easy, but if this is ultimately what you want its going to take a lot of work, a lot of compromise and a ALOT of communication. You will have a successful relationship as long as the TWO of you are ready to commit to that. 1
Never Again Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 She might be confused about her feelings for you. Talk to her and tell her how she is acting, see what happens. Interestingly enough she might be asking the question you have asked. Should I break up with him , will I regret it. Always always always talk with someone before you dump them. The only exceptions are if the relationship is toxic, the problems have been constantly addressed with no resolution in sight, or things haven't felt right since the beginning. Otherwise, by not saying something, you're guaranteeing the relationship will fail. The question will just be "who will end it first?" 1
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 This is the girl who told me 6 months ago that she wanted to marry me and even made a video of it. I guess things change. It's just really hard to take this.. I know the relationship is ending anytime soon still haven't talked to her... Thank you for the advice everyone.. I'm writing all the things I wanted to say so I won't forget anything.. I will update this thread whatever happens Thank you guys
nevergoodenough Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Guys I've been dating this girl for 2 1/2 years. I don't know what to do. She recently got back from Europe because of her work there we haven't seen each other for 7 months. She doesn't want to have sex and acting really different. She kiss me but doesn't french kiss. She is not passionate anymore. She is saying she loves me and misses me and she acts so happy every time we are together outside but every time we go to bed she acts so different and distant. I'm 100% sure that there is no other guy as she is living with her mother there and all she does is work. Is it because of stress? She is really tired and stress everyday as she work 6 days a week and 9-12hrs a day. She is not like this before.. Before she is affectionate and passionate in our relationship but that's the time that she still doesn't work. I really love this women as she is really great through out our relationship. I just don't understand what's happening. Suddenly everything is different and I feel like our relationship is falling apart. I did ask if there is something wrong she said "I'm sorry I can't give more right now. It's just that I'm really stress and tired". She stop saying I love you on her goodnight messages too. I think she can't handle to be in a relationship right now due to her stress at work. or maybe she is falling out of love? Do you think it's better to just end it with her? And start No Contact or just ask her for cool off to lessen her stress? She is 27 yrs old. please help me guys. I dated a girl like this also... I stuck it out and hoped she would feel better and we would begin having sex again. It never happened and she eventually broke up with me after five years. It's very likely she just wants to be your friend, regardless if she is insecure or stressed or not. I believe you should break up with her. Nothing to regret, she isn't even taking part in your relationship. 1
Author ConfuseGuy Posted November 24, 2013 Author Posted November 24, 2013 hello everyone. I have an update We broke up. It's over She cried while talking to me and she keep on saying sorry the way she is acting for the past months. She said since she became the manager of the store she can't handle to be in a relationship right now due to stress in her work. She said sorry that she can't be a girlfriend to me and how unfair she is to me. She just can't really handle everything right now. She said that I deserve the best girlfriend.. I don't know to be honest if I'm gonna believe it but I respected her decision. She is kinda mess. actually she gained alot of weight too.. Like she is not taking care of herself anymore.. I don't know guys I'm on day 1 of NC now. It hurts guys deeply hurts..
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