Success: For the guy that lost all hope

[steveT95]

I want to share my story. It is a long one but I hope it can bring some hope to those in rock bottom because I know what it is like to be that low.

 

When I was suffering through a horrible break-up I came to this site often and found a lot of comfort from it, but what annoyed me was every success story involved the heartbroken finding a new partner. Well, I haven't and I'm as content as ever!

 

The relationship was my first serious one and like most we were madly in love. Then it fell apart. Arguments and a lack of trust.

She put me under a lot of stress before we broke up since I was so worried about her health, whereas she showed no concern for mine.

 

I lost a lot of weight and dropped to being just 9 stone. My mental health deteriorated as well. I started suffering with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. All of my other relationships broke down. I argued with my mum and nearly ended up moving out. The arguments were caused by her worry for me and her inability to help.

 

At my lowest after a particularly bad argument I shut myself I was in my room and tied the belt of my dressing gown around my neck and pulled it as tight as possible. I wanted to be dead. Life was bad and it wasn't getting any better. Thankfully, something drove me to untie the rope. Whether it was simple survival instincts or a glimpse of the future, I don't know. This was four months after the break-up!

 

I got counselling and went on anti-depressants for awhile. But the true turn around came as I began to help myself. I watched a lot of motivational videos and did my best to surround myself in only positive people. It sounds like a cliche but it's works.

 

I set myself the goal of gaining weight. Good weight, muscle not fat. Discovery weightlifting was one of the best things that helped me conquer my depression and anxiety. It was a release of all the anxiety and stress that built up over the day. I didn't have to cry to let it out or bottle it up to deal with it sacrificing my health. Instead I was able to turn that stress into positive gains. This had a positive impact on my confidence as well. I felt presentable again and was able to hold my head up when I walked. Currently I am now 11 stone 6 pounds and curl 3 times the amount I did when I started in the summer.

Weightlifting may not be your cup of tea, but I highly recommend some sort of exercise, even if it's just running or press-ups.

 

I have developed a keen interest in motivational speech but the most revolutionary one for me did not come from a professional on a stage or a over-paid ponse in a video, but a remarkably happy man at work. He sang on song wherever he went and when he spoke he spoke to the entire room. I can't remember exactly what he said but it goes along the lines of this: 'Bad things in life happen. And we can complain about them and that's fine, it's good to do so. But it won't change things, it will only make us miserable. We mustn't let something we can't control ruin our day. We can expect something bad to happen at some point, not every day is going to be a good one. But we must allow for that and let it pass because it will pass.' The quote isn't as powerful as it was when he said it, but you get the idea.

 

What I've learnt from it all is that you have control over every situation. You may not be able to control or prevent a bad situation but you can control how you deal with it!

 

As for my friendships. When I was in a relationship I wasn't able to have any, it was just me and her. When we broke up, that was it. I didn't have anyone.

I didn't have anyone through the summer either until I made contact with an old friend. When I returned to college in September, I surprised everyone. (I know that to be true, I was told that last weekend ) I spoke to people, anyone. I smiled and was enthusiastic. Confidence was key. Although I'll admit it verged on arrogance and that wasn't good. I am now planning a second party for all my friends. I am the most popular I have ever been in my life and feel the most accepted I have ever felt. Before September I hadn't said more than a few words to these people despite being in their classes all of last year.

 

I'm not saying it has been easy sailing. Healing is not a linear process. You will get stronger then you will get knocked back on your ass again. But each time you get up you will be stronger than before. I felt very anxious around my ex for a very long time. It wasn't until last week that I stopped caring. We broke up in March. Healing doesn't have to be rushed, take your time and you'll be stronger for it. Learn to love yourself and love will come to you. Happiness attracts happy people. I don't go anywhere without singing a tune, and if people don't like it they can go away. I can't sing when I'm dead!

[strive]

Amazing success story. I hope everyone here would reach the place you're in now!

[steveT95]

Thank you. Your feedback means a lot.

 

It was the hardest period of my life. But I wouldn't change it, I'm a completely different person to who I was last January.

[firststeps]

Thank you for giving me hope that things will get better.

lts a daily struggle, minute by minute, extreme lows and highs and everything in between.

l was married for 14 years and my husband walked out on me for another woman.

Self care is hard, and l lost 10 pounds and my appetite is only starting to come back.

l love your positive attitude and l needed to hear your inspirational story.

Thank you!

 

One step forward.

[Speakingofwhich]

What a great post! Thanks for sharing!

[steveT95]

Thank you. Knowing it helps is really humbling.

[Jules78]

Wonderful, inspiring story! Thank you so much for taking the time to share it here.

[TheMoonBug]

Just what I needed! Thank you so so much!! <333

[steveT95]

Thank you, I wasn't sure anyone would bother to read this. Good to know it has helped people.

[mammasita]

Good for you!

 

Hitting the bottom and being able to persevere makes us strong