Veronika2003 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Hi everybody, can't even think any more and not sure what to do so just thought it might be good to share my story. Few months ago I had that weird feeling that something was going to change my life radically. I went through a horrible time of betrayal followed by miscarriage. I decided to pack my bags, leave job, country, friends and move away. So I did. Left everything behind me to start fresh. As soon as I arrived I met him. Instantly I knew that he was something special as we were both behaving like we knew each other for years and years. We had the same habits, spent hours talking, felt so comfortable. I instantly felt that overwhelming unconditional love for him and after all the mess I had to deal with before I trusted him 100% knowing that he cares for me the same way I did. No questions asked. For two months I've been there for him as he was going through rough times and helping as much as I could. 2 weeks ago I started a new job which unfortunately brought instantly all the painful memories and trauma I experienced before and first week was extremely hard. I associated the place with being bullied and loss of my child so it was hard to get back to full time employment. So I become worried and depressed, I knew I had to go through this to conquer it and move on. In a week time he wasn't there to support me and chose to go out drinking with friends when I need him the most. A week ago we had a discussion as we both feared a dead end. Still nothing changed in my feelings and I hoped we could make things better. When deciding if to progress into relationship or leaving me completely he went for the break up. Suddenly saying he in fact wanted someone older, he doesn't want someone who is so similar to him etc. I was shocked and speechless. Didn't expect that at all and felt just wounded like a dog hit by a car. Said nothing though and wished him all the best as my pride would not allow me to beg. Its been a week now. Starting new job and just feeling depressed and sad. Can't eat. Can't focus on anything. Feeling empty, alone with no friends or family around. Even thought of suicide. I could never imagine feeling that worthless and nothing prepared me for that.
devilish innocent Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 You're not worthless. He just wasn't what you thought he was. Having a deep connection with somebody you've just met isn't a substitute for knowing somebody a long time and seeing that they are consistently there for you. You were relying on him to be your clutch when you should have been relying on yourself. You've had a tough few months, and it's unfortunate that this is one more thing to add to it, but things will be okay. I think it's good that you realize you have to go through this. It seems like before you might have been hoping you could hide and escape from things. Some things we just have to deal with before we can put them behind us. You'll probably look back at this someday as one of the most difficult periods of your life. But you'll make it through, and then you'll discover a whole bright world waiting for you. You might also want to consider talking with a professional therapist to help you deal with all this. Best wishes! 2
fixing Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Thanks for being open and sharing your pain. I really feel so sorry for you. It must be so hard being in a foreign country all alone. But you know what? That makes me realise that you are made of very strong stuff? Iron! You really need to get on the phone and call family, and friends, dont let pride get in the way of that. This guy, turned out to be not what he first appeared. It happens, life is ****, and its just another hurdle you have to jump over. You will get through this. Keep posting and venting here. Its a great tool for releasing so much pain. But suicide, is just plane wrong. Try to imagine what your family will be left with if you committed suicide. Things will get better i promise. 1
JourneyLady Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 I can understand the "twin flame" or soulmate mentality, because I've been there... What you have to realize that there are individuals out there so astutely intuitive and able to read people that they can mirror your every desire in another person such that you don't even realize it's not really them... In fact THEY don't even realize it's just a persona and not the real person they are portraying. They want so badly be loved that they portray what you want so that you will. But that doesn't make THEM fall for you, unfortunately. Some can't in the way that you and I do. Then the mask falls off over time when they lose interest and/or when a problem to be overcome presents itself... because basically they don't want to work hard in a relationship. In effect, they are in love with love and once the bloom wears off, they are off to love again. Sometimes they will stick around for a while longer if the rewards are good enough (being spoiled and taken care of), but otherwise, their relationships are short-lived. It's not your fault, but it does sound like you fell for one of those. Hugs. Hopefully you will recover and go on to choose someone less of an actor. That's the road I happen to be on. 3
LostConfused123 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 First I want to say I'm so sorry for your losses! Our stories are kinda similar. I was pregnant with twin girls and lost them at 5 months. Sad, confused, angry, all of the emotions you would expect. I hated my job and left a dead end relationship to start over. Moved a few states away (have family here, thank goodness) and met my "soulmate" Long story short, he turned out to be an insensitive jerk!!! Wow!! Did I get that one wrong!! I know how lonely and depressing an unfamiliar place is with a broken heart. and everything reminds me of him because I met him so fast after moving here. Like I said, I have a little family here but honestly, I can't talk to them about it. Love them but as far as empathy for heartbreak from someone I knew for only a few months. . . almost laughable to them. Anyway, I forced myself to make new friends, joined a meet up group and sometimes even go out by myself. it really does help and I hope you adjust to your new life as painless as possible. You are in my prayers and I'm so sorry you are going through this!! BIG BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 23, 2013 Posted November 23, 2013 Suddenly saying he in fact wanted someone older, he doesn't want someone who is so similar to him etc. I was shocked and speechless. Didn't expect that at all and felt just wounded like a dog hit by a car. Be thankful you didn't waste years with him. I too was with someone I thought was right for me. Several months ago he turned around and decided he wanted someone who was this or that - basically not me. I just remember thinking we've been together for 3 years and now you've decided you want someone who isn't me. Could not understand it. Still can't understand it. I was shocked and I think I still am a little. In time hopefully you will heal and better things will be there for you.
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