Iceberg Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I'm 16 and I've been dating my bf for over a year now. About 14 months. We frenched each other after dating 4 months. I'm a little worried now because all around my highschool I have been hearing guys say stuff such as "She just didn't get it on with me so I dumped her" and "She wouldn't let me have any fun so we broke up". ...Is this the case with most guys at this age? I mean...is that all they think about? My bf never used to talk about going to "second base" (for those of you who don't know, that means him touching my breasts and me touching his "you know what") but he does now. *sigh* I dunno if I'm ready yet. He NEVER pushes me or pressures me into doing it but...could be possibly get bored because we're not doing the stuff that half the couples in our school do? I need help girls. Should I worry? I love him and he isn't your typical 16 year old.
NiCoLe20 Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 i lost my virginity at 14 and it was such a bad mistake lol i wish i could go back in time and make it right.... but alot of girls nowadays at ur age are pregnant or have std's b/c their not careful and responsible with their actions...i actually give u props for being a virgin... you have had a b/f for over a year which is also antoher + i really cant tell you what to do but when u think the time is right and if your with a person you love and ur responsible for ur actions/circumstances then i think your able to make the right decison. i mean alot of ppl wait till marriage but then again others dont. its up to the couple...if u wanna do it make sure its right. use protection and make sure u know that in your heart your doing it on ur own will and not by someone pressuring you.
curiousnycgirl Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 I agree with Nicole - but would say it stonger! Do not do anything just because everyone else is!!!!! Do it because you are ready and YOU want to! If he breaks up with you because you are not ready - then he's not worth it. I know it will hurt - but you will have been true to yourself - and that is waaay more important! For goodness sake you are only 16! There is plenty of time for that stuff!
Author Iceberg Posted December 30, 2004 Author Posted December 30, 2004 *blush* ^_^;; thank you both very much. you've helped. and you're right, there's plenty of time for that kinda stuff in the future.
allen10981 Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 Hold off until you are ready I lost my virginity at 14 years old to the worst girl possible. Compulsive liar, and threatened to kill me on more than one occasion Wait for someone good, who wont pressure you at all.
kanga Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 Absolutely. (Btw, This advice comes from a 20-something woman who's been in those shoes.) It's sad that, yes, it seems like a lot of teens are doing things that they are going to be regretting in the future. If the guy you are dating truly loves you too, he's not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want. And instead of dropping hints, he should be talking to you but what you both want. You should both be talking about such important situations.
Bubbles Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 I would like to add that most boys from the age of 14 'til at least age 24 - 25ish are hormonally driven. Keep youself safeguarded for a few more years hon........the girls who mess around with guys at a young age usually end up seriously regretting it. bubbles
dp Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 Ahh, I remember when I was in your shoes. There was this really hunky, gorgeous guy that all of the girls wanted to date. I never pursued him because he and I had never even had a real conversation. I was friends with his sister though. Anyway, he started to go to the same places that I would go with my friends and then he eventually asked me out. He did things the way that I wanted at first but, then he lied to me to get me to his house when nobody was home. He tried to get me to go to bed with him and when I made it clear that I would not do that he stopped and I asked him to take me home, which he did. I did not hear from him again since that night and I found out from a friend of his that it was because I didn't take it to the next level. I stuck to my guns and never spoke to him again. I later found out that he had caught an STD from another girl in my school (who was kinda popular) and he got into drugs and drinking. He now has 2 children and he never did marry the girl and he's a big zero. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that just because he thinks that it is right doesn't mean that it is. If you feel that you aren't ready then why should you do something that you might regret just to make him happy? If he is getting bored and wants to end it just because of the no sex thing then let him go. He obviously wasn't worried about making you happy by respecting your feelings so why should you try to make him happy by giving in before you are ready to? You can't go back so it's important to make the right choices now so that you don't regret them later. Don't do what everybody else is doing or claims that they are doing. It may seem like it's important in high school but, once you're out of school you'll see that this is just a minor dilemma.
SoleMate Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 Yup. Everyone here has a good story. I have never heard a girl say, "I started getting sexual at 14 and I am so glad. It really improved my life!" Teenage couples are NOTORIOUSLY fertile. While older couples might take many months or years to conceive, for teenagers, often 1 act of intercourse does the trick. Even if they attempt to use birth control, it actually takes practice and experience to use condoms correctly. Not to mention STDs, especially the incurable ones. Please search for some "Am I pregnant?" threads. The anxiety these girls (and a few of the guys) go through is just heartbreaking. Then comes the fear of those who have to let their parents know the truth about a pregnancy. It makes you grow up fast, but NOT in a good way. You would have to bear physical and emotional loads that are just too much for your growing body. Thanks for being smart enough to ask the question, AND for listening to the answers.
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